Dear Narendra Modi, Amitabh Bachchan, Sachin Tendulkar, Shahrukh Khan, Salman Khan, Aamir Khan and Anil Ambani,
I am writing to YOU specifically because you are the most powerful and influential MEN in our country.
I am writing to you as a woman who grew up in a middle class family in Mumbai.
I am writing to YOU for HELP!
My parents may not like me saying this. I apologize to them if they are reading but this is NOT MY SHAME. It’s THIER SHAME.
My first experience with the opposite sex, was when I was just 13 and groped by a man (never saw his face but will never forget his hand) while walking in the vegetable market with my mom. She had just given me the worst haircut and as an angry teenager I was upset at her and was lagging behind as she walked ahead. I still remember what I was wearing. It was her dress, mustard with flowers and little bow in the front. How I hate that dress! As if, it was the dress’s fault.
I was shocked at first. Speechless. He disappeared. I just stood there. Tears started pouring out of my innocent eyes. I told my mom who went mad screaming in the market but who knew where that man disappeared to. I still remember the dirty feeling I had and the number of times I showered in my grand-mom’s bathroom after. That feeling never went away.
Shenaz Treasurywala
Since then it was non-stop. I would try to articulate this to my parents and while my mom understood, my dad and uncles told me I was imagining it. Maybe they just couldn’t deal with it. CAN YOU?
When I was 15, I started going by train and bus to St. Xaviers’ College. I was groped and touched and from all angles and this was just how I grew up. Not Just Me but MOST INDIAN WOMEN who don’t have the luxury of cars and drivers.
As a teenager I would dream of and still sometimes dream that I had a machine gun and could kill all the men who tried to grope me. A very disturbing dream for a kid, don’t you think?
I got my first assignment as a model in the FYJC and I had to go to screen-tests straight from college. So I had to dress nice, didn’t make it any easier. I specifically remember the time I went for an audition in a red body suit and a black long skirt with slits. It was HELL! I never wore that again. As if it was the dress’s fault.
I developed ways to defend myself, I always carried a bag in front of me, my fist was always clenched, I always turned around every 20 seconds to check who was behind me and a few times I slapped men who touched me, I got slapped back many times too. Sometimes saved by the public, MOST TIMES NOT.
My mom begged me not to pick fights with men who touched me, she was afraid of acid being thrown at me or that somebody someday would hurt me badly. She is STILL AFRAID and today she told me not to take an UBER to my meeting tomorrow. Hell ya. BAN UBER! Make everyone take responsibility for this.
My sister got into Sophia’s college, we were all excited. She went by bus but the first day she came home, she sobbed traumatized. A man had put his hand in her tee-shirt through her sleeve, the entire bus ride. She just froze. She was a kid too and wasn’t equipped to even understand this. I was LIVID. I’m sorry sis for telling the world this, please don’t stop speaking to me. IT’S NOT Our Shame. It’s THEIRS!
One of my friends in college was RAPED on the train on her way home in the ladies compartment. She was sick and was going home in the 11:15 break. There was nobody in the first class compartment going back to Bandra at that time, it was a superfast meaning it didn’t stop at most stations. He raped her and then jumped off after using her scrunchy (hair tie) to wipe himself. She was the only one on the train and had to limp her way back to her home in Bandra, bleeding profusely. She was just 16. This she felt was her shame so she did not say anything to anyone.
BUT IT ISN’T HER SHAME, it’s THEIR SHAME.
My mom accompanied me to Hyderabad on a shoot once. In churi bazaar, a cyclist groped My MOM. My dear respected and lovely MOM.
Sorry Mom, IT’S NOT Our Shame, It’s THEIR SHAME.
Why am I telling you my personal story?
Well first I want all women to Speak Up.
Let’s make this our MOTTO-
It’s not OUR SHAME, it’s THEIR SHAME.
Who are “THEY”?
“THEY” ARE THE MEN IN OUR COUNTRY.
Not just the rapists and the sexual offenders and gropers but also our Fathers (sorry dad) and Uncles and Brothers and MOVIE STARS AND CRICKETERS AND POLITICIANS for not SAVING US or PROTECTING US by insisting and protesting for the LAWS TO CHANGE and Rapists and Gropers to BE PUNISHED SEVERELY!
Why do we as women have to feel so threatened? WHY has there been no severe action taken? This has gone on for years now. Not just in Delhi but all over our country and yes even in BOMBAY OR MUMBAI OR Whatever the hell you want to call it! It’s NOT SAFE. NO!
My biggest fear ever since I was kid and even today when I walk back home at night from yoga or when I take a rickshaw from a friend’s home is being RAPED. I still feel that fear. I am still am on guard. I still fantasize of having that MACHINE GUN.
In the past 4 years I have been living and working half in India and half in New York and let me tell you I have walked the streets of Harlem, the Bronx and Brooklyn (perceived as the most dangerous in NYC) at3am after parties in short skirts and felt safer than I feel in Bandra at 10 pm on a quiet road fully covered. WHY??
Let’s talk about Delhi our Capital. I was there 2 days ago and the day of the rape. I wanted to go out and walk by India Gate and admire our great monuments but could I?! Why??
What good are all your speeches in the US or Japan or AUSTRALIA- NAMO, if no woman can walk freely in the streets even in broad daylight by herself in the CAPITAL OF OUR COUNTRY. Isn’t this a SHAME? SHAME ON YOU SIR.
This is our NO1 issue. FIX THIS before anything else.
This is a SHAME. And it’s YOUR SHAME. You are now RESPONSIBLE FOR US.
I beg all of you fine gentlemen that I have addressed to help change the LAW.
You are powerful men. I say, SHAME and PUNISH THE Gropers and Sexual offenders severely. KILL THE RAPISTS.
I won’t ask for public castration which is what I want and all the women want because I know this is unrealistic and things move SO DAMN SLOW in our FINE NATION.
All I ask for is the -Death Penalty Please. NOW! QUICK!
If that’s too hard or will take too long then at least LIFE IMPRISONMENT.
Put them away forever.
Why was this man who had raped twice before out on bail?
And then given a drivers license? YES, BAN UBER TOO. Make everyone responsible.
I’m ready to do anything. I’m not a big enough celeb but you Sachin Tendulkar, Amitabh Bachchan, Salman Khan, Sharukh Khan, Aamir Khan, Anil Ambani SIRS- need to speak up as MEN ( you are the men with the power)
SAVE US!
Please demand the Death Sentence for the Rapists.
NO BAIL. Just Death.
Superstars I beg you, please take a stand. Use your Superstardom and Power and MONEY and save the women of our country. SAVE US!
I urge you to protest or go on a fast or do something DRASTIC so people take notice, the government wakes up and CHANGES the LAW so these men are terrified to touch us.
Death to rapists. No bail. Just death.
Imagine Amitabh Bachchan Sir, Aamir Khan, Salmaan Khan, Sachin Tendulkar, Anil Ambani- if you went on a fast or walked to the Rashrtrapati In Delhi. If you, took this stand and made this YOUR NO 1 issue, how much change there would be?!
Why should we as women feel so unsafe in our motherland?!
Why should we as women be terrified and on guard all the time.
Why was this man out on bail after committed two rapes already ?
Make an Example Of Him.
Any man who even touches a woman should be imprisoned for life.
Be strict, make examples of these men, scare those who dare to touch us.
SCARE THEM BY MAKING AN EXAMPLE OUT OF THEM.
SAVE US, Save your mother, daughter, sister please!
This is NOT OUR SHAME.
THIS IS YOURS.
SHAME ON YOU.
Don’t sleep till you – SAVE YOUR WOMEN!
With all respect,
Shenaz Treasurywala
I have nothing to do with shenaaz. I dont even like her. The property rates should go down to 1 rupee per sqft. Who would want their daughters, wives or mothers or even grandmothers( especially for Delhi ) to get raped ??? Declare it as the state of rapists. Now the political parties who r conjoined with the real estate lobies would start asking their own news channels to show that Mumbai is also a rape affected area. But please… Mumbai is the safest place anyone can be. Change your attitude, is there something wrong with their education or what? We as citizens of Mumbai, students of Maharashtra board of education, didn’t even think about arguing to women.
Implement one language, one rule,one mentality throughout India. I won’t want my daughter to be raped. Why should you disagree if someone says I want a boy child? When my girl child would die or get raped or be a topic of abuse in this society?
I am the government. I will decide. And I decide that no one would get raped. Bring in the technologies. M not the one who just points out the problems and don’t show you the solutions.
PS: please don’t do Jhol in the CCTV implementation throughout India and please remember one thing, I have nothing to do with shenaaz, neither do I want this platform to be like bigboss and give the not so good, struggling actors a full time job.
Also I don’t want the judgment to be biased to the feminine side. ( as it was earlier but the needy girls didn’t know it ).
Conclusion: finish off the pending cases about rape as soon as possible. I don’t want my people to wait for 2 decades for a judgment. Love you, trust you.
– the owner of this country. ( a common man)
This is an open letter to Miss.Shehnaz…. I guess u may not understand much of the scientific jargon I would use but I would try to keep it simple. One should appreciate science and understand how it can explain everything in the universe including society and its problems….Don’t take me in a negative way…..I am not supporting nor going against……. I can foresee that this would continue for long and would take too much time……it would take much time even if feminists use social sites, influential or non-influential males support for the cause or whatever….if one applies quantum mechanics, its probabilistic concept and how much probability can be accessed, i can prove why i am saying that it would take a lot of time……the nation is in a state of TRANSITION………and during transition, there is always a problem and a finite time is involved between ground state and excited state or vice-versa……
One has to understand TRANSITION in a much deeper and fundamental sense…..
for example i can guarantee that these issues would reduce exponentially if u go to two extreme states…….1) the whole of nation would follow western style & ban all traditional dresses or 2) would follow only traditional dresses,sarees,salwar kameez etc and ban all western items…… but actuality is that during this transition phase, 1)few gals follow completely western, 2)few follow completely traditional indian attire for their life but 3) the MAJORITY follow both types wearing what they like depending on the occasion or mood……the third case is the problem which hangs the probability between 0 and 1,then it would take lot of time to make change happen……if everyone accesses either 0 or 1….the mindset of the voracious males can be changed drastically…this mindset is the root cause that has to be changed…..i hope the nation comes out of this transition as soon as possible…..once the mindset is changed by accessing 1 or 0….then the gals can go back accessing values between 0 & 1, the MAJORITY case, but there wont be much eve teasing, harassment,rapes etc as the mindset would have changed…………there are certain cases of rapes where my theory may fail but i am pretty sure that other types like eve teasing,groping, violence on women at homes, work, etc …all these can be solved….
Problem is India can’t be a complete US or complete China….but just increase the sex ratio and have more than 1000 females per 1000 males, i bet many of the problems would be solved…….see statistics, science, physics…… everything can be related to society……in fact the whole CREATION and EXISTENCE is codified in a matrix form but few are only decoded by homo sapiens yet and many are awaiting curious minds…..u may not be able to appreciate the beauty of 0’s (nothing) and 1’s (everything),just the simple binary digits that brings the whole world virtually in your hands…..
If castration and death penalty come into effective action soon, then definitely the no. of rapes and rape attempts would reduce. The ones who are educated, who are aware of their prestige and position in society would definitely think trillion times before committing this heinous crime because of the equivalent heinous punishment but those rapists who come from downtrodden society, come drunk and want to satiate their lust would be uncontrollable however painful may be the punishment.
I know every present generation fashionable woman wants to say that she loves wearing that short skirt but is never calling for being raped. There may be few who want to draw attention of other men or women by their dressing tastes but definitely not all as they wear it simply because they just love to feel themselves wearing that trendy fashionable dress on demand in the present market. In past, the designer dresses were limited to film stars, rich people etc. which most men got a chance to see in TVs, media only….but these days, the style has entered to the local market of cities,towns and may be girls in villages of India are soon going to try those. So, once a girl in those outfits becomes reality in the streets, some filthy men stare at them because of the CHANGE or eye catching dazzling attributes present in this costume that is new to them. If the gal is completely covered or completely naked, I bet there would be less problems. But, once there are parts uncovered and very few parts covered, leaves these men incited and they imagine of stripping it. This intermediate state is always lethal. As the voltage increases, the current increases in the transistor but after a certain critical voltage, however high may be the voltage, the current remains constant and is said to be saturated. In the west, the mindset of the men are saturated as they have seen their women’s uncovered legs, thighs, cleavage, etc for so long. Its nothing new for them which is the case for so many Indians. Just imagine a hypothetical condition in which all humans become nude and no marriage concept, then there may be rapes and random permutations and combinations of intercourse but after a certain period, everything would be saturated and normal, also imagine the vedic ages with all women completely covered, then also there would be exponential reduction in women harassment with very few rape cases. The bottomline is wait for the transition to go to either extremes or do some changes to reach the saturation state soon.
Also, an argument can be that when a boy wears something short, gals don’t stare or eve tease but happens the other way out. Its biology dear and no one can help it else u question the CREATION and the CREATOR or try to modify the gene transcription to alter the behavior. It is seen that males are more frequently excited for sex than women because of inner biological mechanisms. A man wants frequently but intensity is less whereas woman wants less frequently but intensity is really high. So, it can be proven that a girl may survive after gang raped by 5 men but a boy would die after gang raped by 5 women.
I would also like you to watch this:
http://www.indiatimes.com/videocafe/crime-has-no-gender-heres-the-flipside-of-sex-targeted-attacks-228822.html
Thrs no time for sympathy now…thrs only time for action…as action speak louder than words…just kill those inhumans who cant respect woman….its time to kill to make a statement. …
My support always…
dear Mr Prime Minister,
truly said this your shame. When we voted you to prime ministers office we voted for a man who could make a difference, who could change things, now after seeing you in office it makes us think that we have elected a tourist who loves visiting different countries and states conducting rallies and leave his work of improving the country.
Why has it been so difficult for any government to set stringent rape/sexual harassment laws? How would you feel if something like this was to happen to your wife or sister. Oh I am sorry I forgot your a politician so no one would mess with you. But I am a common man and I would not like someone misbehaving with my mom, sis or wife. May be because I am still human and not a politician and I still have feelings.
I dare to ask you what difference have you made in the past six months of you taking over as the prime minster of this country. First we had a pm who couldn’t speak now we have one who only speaks.when would we ever get a prime minister who does things, Who would bring the change?
You speak well and have managed to bring victory to your political party but have you ever realised how much does the government spend on security each time you step out to campaign? Where does this money come from? This is my and many commoners blood that you are spending, it’s our hard earned money, for which we slog everyday in sun, rain, cold. Why so that some ministers like yourself could just blow in on your tours to different states/ foreign countries. Why isn’t there ever a question on any ministers need to travel? I ask this question why do you need to campaign in state elections? This is my money being spent so I have a right to ask you?
Dear sir it is my humble request to you to do the job that we all have elected you for, do not let us down, for this is the only chance that democracy would get in this country. I don’t think after your failure democracy would last long in this country. For we common people have seen a lot and we are soon approaching our saturation and would soon lead to a revolt to through out the corrupt.
So save the country before a revolt breaks it.
Understanding the Flip side !!!..
https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=745640548849640
Secondly,
Did you mean country having strong punishment like death sentence have low crime rate or having less rape counts ? . . . better study other nation facts and figure and you will find all inverse ratio and punishment is really not the right solution at all.
With complete due respect to you Shenaz…
First of all, a big salute to the lady here…
Secondly I just got one question here-“WILL THIS DEATH PENALTY BE SUFFICIENT TO MAKE THAT CHANGE IN OUR SOCIETY? ”
Because as far as I know, most of the harassment cases just gets buried under the earth because of the RESPECT, HONOUR, SHAME and many more words like this that comes from the mouth of their relatives, parents, brothers and even sisters.
#I’m sorry but don’t expect me to reply to any comment until you can hear some great f***ing words from my mouth.
tl;dr..nothings gonna change till we change ourselves and the way everyone looks at gender differences.period.
I’m so sorry Shenaz! – for you, your sister, your mom, your friend and for all the women in India that deal with this shit. IT IS NOT/ NEVER IS YOUR FAULT. It’s theirs.
I broke down on reading this and it’s so disturbingly sad to see how disgustingly inhumane people can be.
I wish there was something I could do. And I know that in our county, all my efforts would probably go to waste and that there’s a better scope for change if the “influential men” of our country actually do give a shit and act up. But that’s exactly where the problem lies.
We, as a society NEED to stop handing power to these “powerful and influential men”. We need to stop glorifying celebrities, and we need to rethink our institutions of power. NONE of these men can place themselves in a victim’s shoes and serve the kind of justice you want them to. Glorifying celebrities and asking them for help does little for our social growth. People are people – celebrities or not, and as the largest democracy of the world, we need to hand more power to people, ESPECIALLY women – because think of how little to almost no power we’re given – especially in institutions of power. I empathise with you, so much and I love how you came about with this open letter. I just wish it wasn’t addressed to our “powerful men”, and was addressed to PEOPLE in general to step forth and be better humans.
Well written and I am all in favour of strengthening current laws but I am very much against the death penalty.
If the death penalty becomes prevalent then the rapist will become encouraged to kill his victim to avoid her identifying him.
Also currently the laws are become so anti men that a lot of women are misusing them.
Just the other day a woman told my friend that if he continued arguing with her over a parking dispute she would file a molestation charge against him !
What you are saying is a universal problem. Not just in India. India can learn from countries like
Singapore where strict laws are followed but rarely misused.
Hi
I wanted to say sorry for all horrible deeds men do
But then sorry is like showing a needle to a planet of sorrows
Let me get to my point
I have a plan
But I need help
What if we make a network between cops n civilians
Firstly we take info about crimes in 1 area to the ppl of that area
Eg Mahim where I stay
Then many buildings have watchmen if we request buildings and colonies
To guard roads and footpaths just outside
I m sure we will cover 30-50% of inner roads
So police can concentrate in crime effected areas
And other possible targets
All abandoned buildings or mills or whatever must be guarded
Or legal action against owners
There is a lot more
Can we talk?
Manoj
9819097135
Dear Shenaaz,
Since you feel so safe in City New York PLS get yourself based in New York forever n never come back my…don’t need energies like you who doesn’t understand the basics of micro n macro..yes ban uber but don’t blame n claim to the ones around coz they made it on their own …many now how we r when biding public palces n smiling n connecting the vice n vibe what ever u say BOMBAY is safe n super ..cya never again…
Only co haven’t been in limelight for a bit PLS
Do not bring out the dark side in sympathetic words
hats off 2 u…its actually not our shame….its theirs..
Along with Shehnaz, its our request to you all highly respected people. Plz walk out, plz speak out for us. Each n every little girl, ladies need ur help. Plz make us feel safe in our Mother Land.
Dear Shehnaaz,
I felt very disgusted when I read about these happenings that took place with and around you. I want to be brief. Firstly, being a man sincerely thank your initiative towards educating us about the rampant behavioral situations that occur with women today. Secondly,I agree this offence should be made non bailable. Thirdly, I also feel the jeopardy women are put through but I don’t think that death penalty is the key to this.Fourthly, this might not be of relevance to you, but there are boyfriends in today’s time who cheat/ “USE” their girlfriends, in the name of sex, would you term it as rape ?? And when the situation is directly opposite, Will you declare a man raped ??
P.S. I sincerely am in support of Men who are against those who harm women at the same time i do not want men to be at the gunpoint of the solution. I know these crimes happen at night and in broad daylight as well, And if you feel that everyone when their problem posted shall get the answer be it that way, But try and understand a common solution to the problem.
I do not want any fame I just want you to understand what I intend to say in the positive way and not misinterpret it.If Shehnaaz or any reader would like to converse further ill be availabe on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/darius.rushabh
Guys stop blaming girls please
And girls please understand
Excess of anything is bad
Yes sexy clothes attract men
But a filthy man can even look
At a girl in burkha and get wrong thoughts
So there has to be a balance on both sides
Someone said this is for her new movie
Come on!!
No one puts their life on line for a movie!!
It takes guts for a girl to speak up
Please don’t insult her its a request
I can’t say what’s the ideal punishment
But don’t they have ladies at home?
Who can confront them
Sometime back I heard somewhere
If we legalize social workers in designated
Areas rape will go down as these
Desperate men will have a place to satisfy themselves
Hats off to u dear!!
Hats off to u mam but one thing all men are not the same and also some times it may be by mistake too so its should be kept in mind afterall we are humans too i strictly agree persons comi tted it or tries to molest people should be severly punished
I salute u Shenaz..itz really v so – called MAN shud b shameful after committin such misdeeds. Jst one rqst to all such mentality jst think dat woman as ur own mom or sis thn go ahead…
Amitabhji once said in an interview
He and his male friend once went to a girls hostel
And when 50 girls were commenting whistling
They felt like they raping them in a softer manner
Wouldn’t it be nice if there were 1500 females for every
1000 men!!
The tables might just turn!!
Hey!
Just got an idea
First Rape 20 years
If found raping again
Compulsory conversion to female!!
I <3 you Shehnaz… hatts off to you ..
We all are with you .. n hope this is the time that we seriously should ask for justice and that is "DEATH SENTENCE FOR RAPISTS"
Very well penned Shenaz! I was in Delhi too the night of the rape and was trying to get a cab back to my hotel. I shudder to think, what if it was me! If it wasn’t for Iptl I don’t think I would have ventured going to the most unsafe capital in the world for women! Bravo to you for standing up and talking openly about all this..takes guts! I hope all the Men are listening…
I would like to say death is the solution instead life imprisonment in inhuman conditions is the approprite one as they destroyed girls life so their life must be a hell. There is one conditon they should be guilty. It must be 100% sure that he has done the crime.
It is also seen, girls always talk about their clothes but they should also understand that today indian society is like this only . they have to be xxxtra cautious and wait till the society changes .It is for their protection.
Not all men are rapist. I have come across many instances where girls taking advantage of such laws.They should also understand laws are meant for protection not for taking advantage.
“A push can be accidental also it is not always intentional.”
I would also suggest society if a rapist is caught red handed and after doctor verification of rape guilty is to taken care by society itself. this will create awareness and fear among people mind
yes, #itsourfault..for the first time in years, tears rolled down my eyes while reading something..i could feel the the pain in every word..I could feel how dignity of my mother, sister, girlfriend has been tarnished! take a bow sis!
@naysayers – just put your family members in those victim’s shoes! wont you rush to borrow that “machine gun” too!
I don’t think that just changing the laws will help. I think that mainstream bollywood movies need to also change. Molesting, and being obnoxious to women, is usually and always present in almost all movies where the hero of the movie is ususally harrassing the actress and then eventually wins her love. This is pseudo-progpaganda that is peceived by many men that if their heroes can do it in the movies, why can’t we do it in person.
Rape scenes were so much a formula in many movies in the 80s and 90s where a woman is being raped and then the hero breaks down the door and rescues her. In real life, there is no real hero who is going to do this.
I think this needs to change in Bollywood too.
Why asking anyone for help can’t we all pick on a day n walk up to da Bhavan n sit there until we get this passed, than requesting the celebs who are busy in their own world. When we could stay back at our homes coz of da Telangana survey, which wasn’t of much use then Y not for this reason. Let’s do this guys just one day out of our life. For our mother’s or sister’s out there
If they big peoples can’t do any think.dont wori miss we oll are with you……. kill the rapist .
Dear.. rather than saluting you or appreciating you, I assure you that as a common man I will always uphold the dignity of all women of my country and will respond to any situation in the manner it deserves to save my sisters or friends or even elders from fellow men who look at gou as an object of pleasure! ! JAI HIND
RESPECT WOMEN….
I REALLY WANT ALL CELEBS TO TAKE A STAND TO PROTECT WOMEN…
INDIA IS MOTHERLAND FOR ALL INDIANS, WE SHOULD PROTECT OUR MOTHER, DAUGHTER, SISTERS ETC…
ITS A KIND REQUEST FOR ALL INFLUENTIAL PEOPLE TO TAKE STAND ON THIS ISSUE
HOPE WE CAN HAVE A SAFER INDIA SOON!!!
The death sentence law is a jungle law.This law if implemented wud be misused by women seeking money from innocent people through blackmailing.Such law wud provoke today’s victim females to become tomorrow’s Rapist women.
There is one solution;
Insist on implementing a law,sentence to death to both male and female involved in the act of RAPE.
The Rape incidents would drastically go down and both male and female would feel secured.