Dear Narendra Modi, Amitabh Bachchan, Sachin Tendulkar, Shahrukh Khan, Salman Khan, Aamir Khan and Anil Ambani,
I am writing to YOU specifically because you are the most powerful and influential MEN in our country.
I am writing to you as a woman who grew up in a middle class family in Mumbai.
I am writing to YOU for HELP!
My parents may not like me saying this. I apologize to them if they are reading but this is NOT MY SHAME. It’s THIER SHAME.
My first experience with the opposite sex, was when I was just 13 and groped by a man (never saw his face but will never forget his hand) while walking in the vegetable market with my mom. She had just given me the worst haircut and as an angry teenager I was upset at her and was lagging behind as she walked ahead. I still remember what I was wearing. It was her dress, mustard with flowers and little bow in the front. How I hate that dress! As if, it was the dress’s fault.
I was shocked at first. Speechless. He disappeared. I just stood there. Tears started pouring out of my innocent eyes. I told my mom who went mad screaming in the market but who knew where that man disappeared to. I still remember the dirty feeling I had and the number of times I showered in my grand-mom’s bathroom after. That feeling never went away.
Shenaz Treasurywala
Since then it was non-stop. I would try to articulate this to my parents and while my mom understood, my dad and uncles told me I was imagining it. Maybe they just couldn’t deal with it. CAN YOU?
When I was 15, I started going by train and bus to St. Xaviers’ College. I was groped and touched and from all angles and this was just how I grew up. Not Just Me but MOST INDIAN WOMEN who don’t have the luxury of cars and drivers.
As a teenager I would dream of and still sometimes dream that I had a machine gun and could kill all the men who tried to grope me. A very disturbing dream for a kid, don’t you think?
I got my first assignment as a model in the FYJC and I had to go to screen-tests straight from college. So I had to dress nice, didn’t make it any easier. I specifically remember the time I went for an audition in a red body suit and a black long skirt with slits. It was HELL! I never wore that again. As if it was the dress’s fault.
I developed ways to defend myself, I always carried a bag in front of me, my fist was always clenched, I always turned around every 20 seconds to check who was behind me and a few times I slapped men who touched me, I got slapped back many times too. Sometimes saved by the public, MOST TIMES NOT.
My mom begged me not to pick fights with men who touched me, she was afraid of acid being thrown at me or that somebody someday would hurt me badly. She is STILL AFRAID and today she told me not to take an UBER to my meeting tomorrow. Hell ya. BAN UBER! Make everyone take responsibility for this.
My sister got into Sophia’s college, we were all excited. She went by bus but the first day she came home, she sobbed traumatized. A man had put his hand in her tee-shirt through her sleeve, the entire bus ride. She just froze. She was a kid too and wasn’t equipped to even understand this. I was LIVID. I’m sorry sis for telling the world this, please don’t stop speaking to me. IT’S NOT Our Shame. It’s THEIRS!
One of my friends in college was RAPED on the train on her way home in the ladies compartment. She was sick and was going home in the 11:15 break. There was nobody in the first class compartment going back to Bandra at that time, it was a superfast meaning it didn’t stop at most stations. He raped her and then jumped off after using her scrunchy (hair tie) to wipe himself. She was the only one on the train and had to limp her way back to her home in Bandra, bleeding profusely. She was just 16. This she felt was her shame so she did not say anything to anyone.
BUT IT ISN’T HER SHAME, it’s THEIR SHAME.
My mom accompanied me to Hyderabad on a shoot once. In churi bazaar, a cyclist groped My MOM. My dear respected and lovely MOM.
Sorry Mom, IT’S NOT Our Shame, It’s THEIR SHAME.
Why am I telling you my personal story?
Well first I want all women to Speak Up.
Let’s make this our MOTTO-
It’s not OUR SHAME, it’s THEIR SHAME.
Who are “THEY”?
“THEY” ARE THE MEN IN OUR COUNTRY.
Not just the rapists and the sexual offenders and gropers but also our Fathers (sorry dad) and Uncles and Brothers and MOVIE STARS AND CRICKETERS AND POLITICIANS for not SAVING US or PROTECTING US by insisting and protesting for the LAWS TO CHANGE and Rapists and Gropers to BE PUNISHED SEVERELY!
Why do we as women have to feel so threatened? WHY has there been no severe action taken? This has gone on for years now. Not just in Delhi but all over our country and yes even in BOMBAY OR MUMBAI OR Whatever the hell you want to call it! It’s NOT SAFE. NO!
My biggest fear ever since I was kid and even today when I walk back home at night from yoga or when I take a rickshaw from a friend’s home is being RAPED. I still feel that fear. I am still am on guard. I still fantasize of having that MACHINE GUN.
In the past 4 years I have been living and working half in India and half in New York and let me tell you I have walked the streets of Harlem, the Bronx and Brooklyn (perceived as the most dangerous in NYC) at3am after parties in short skirts and felt safer than I feel in Bandra at 10 pm on a quiet road fully covered. WHY??
Let’s talk about Delhi our Capital. I was there 2 days ago and the day of the rape. I wanted to go out and walk by India Gate and admire our great monuments but could I?! Why??
What good are all your speeches in the US or Japan or AUSTRALIA- NAMO, if no woman can walk freely in the streets even in broad daylight by herself in the CAPITAL OF OUR COUNTRY. Isn’t this a SHAME? SHAME ON YOU SIR.
This is our NO1 issue. FIX THIS before anything else.
This is a SHAME. And it’s YOUR SHAME. You are now RESPONSIBLE FOR US.
I beg all of you fine gentlemen that I have addressed to help change the LAW.
You are powerful men. I say, SHAME and PUNISH THE Gropers and Sexual offenders severely. KILL THE RAPISTS.
I won’t ask for public castration which is what I want and all the women want because I know this is unrealistic and things move SO DAMN SLOW in our FINE NATION.
All I ask for is the -Death Penalty Please. NOW! QUICK!
If that’s too hard or will take too long then at least LIFE IMPRISONMENT.
Put them away forever.
Why was this man who had raped twice before out on bail?
And then given a drivers license? YES, BAN UBER TOO. Make everyone responsible.
I’m ready to do anything. I’m not a big enough celeb but you Sachin Tendulkar, Amitabh Bachchan, Salman Khan, Sharukh Khan, Aamir Khan, Anil Ambani SIRS- need to speak up as MEN ( you are the men with the power)
SAVE US!
Please demand the Death Sentence for the Rapists.
NO BAIL. Just Death.
Superstars I beg you, please take a stand. Use your Superstardom and Power and MONEY and save the women of our country. SAVE US!
I urge you to protest or go on a fast or do something DRASTIC so people take notice, the government wakes up and CHANGES the LAW so these men are terrified to touch us.
Death to rapists. No bail. Just death.
Imagine Amitabh Bachchan Sir, Aamir Khan, Salmaan Khan, Sachin Tendulkar, Anil Ambani- if you went on a fast or walked to the Rashrtrapati In Delhi. If you, took this stand and made this YOUR NO 1 issue, how much change there would be?!
Why should we as women feel so unsafe in our motherland?!
Why should we as women be terrified and on guard all the time.
Why was this man out on bail after committed two rapes already ?
Make an Example Of Him.
Any man who even touches a woman should be imprisoned for life.
Be strict, make examples of these men, scare those who dare to touch us.
SCARE THEM BY MAKING AN EXAMPLE OUT OF THEM.
SAVE US, Save your mother, daughter, sister please!
This is NOT OUR SHAME.
THIS IS YOURS.
SHAME ON YOU.
Don’t sleep till you – SAVE YOUR WOMEN!
With all respect,
Shenaz Treasurywala
respect u lady for being so courageous to tell us how u dealt with perv’s. I think its high time, women of our country shud be provided with a law, in which she (victim) should announce judgement of such a guy(convict) and decide his fate…this is what i call empowering women…
Dear Sehnaz… can’t say about Salman OR Sharukh OR Aamir but Our BIG B will respond to your letter. I thank you for speaking up and I will spread this matter. You are woman of Substance A Big BOW to a you…..
The Article is written so well and is so true. The story of every Indian women.
bull shit !! why didnt you approach the police or file a complaint when you were groped or touched…. sorry i am im in no mood to support the rapist…. but why approaching film stars and industrialists to raise a voice ?….. when you got groped you kept silent…. now that another girl is raped you suddenly come back to your senses and place an appeal to the celebrities ? why didnt you raise your voice when damini was raped and killed brutally !! Fancy english language doesnt really bring out any emotions in me… but yes … protest does…. I am sorry to say that this is not a protest but beggary for help !! Rise up… show your power… create attention…. do you really think that these men whom you are appealing to.. will stand by you ? You will stand alone and there will be nobody by your side ?? I think you are just trying to attract media attention… since you are not seen for a long time !! anyways !! Good luck
Not impressed. Though it is a truth; Shenaz Treasurywala, you are troubled by some other people and you are holding wrong persons responsible for controlling it.
You must be aware, that this is not the first year of such incidences, then why did you not say, “Shame on you” for all the previous governments whose apathy brought down the morality of Indians? The earlier government never allowed amendments in the laws just because it will hurt certain castes. Are they not to be more shameful to bring our country to this stage?
Why are you not talking anything about the ill-famous Indian news media, who actually earn, out of such incidences? The media likes and yes; enjoys the detailing of the rape and harassment towards women so gaudily that instead of feeling guilty, the men become curious about the act.
In fact; you got courage to write this openly now; because you now feel that yes; some change is possible. So it is the faith in Modi and the likes you have mentioned, causing you to expect something good to happen.
To all the people saying that the girls should stop wearing seductive dresses if they want to stop such things… let me tell you guys, i never- never wore anything revealing in my entire life.. m 28 now… i used to work at lecturer and started a culture of wearing sarees at workplace… i always used hell lots of safety pins just to make my saree secure at its place, my other female collegues always praised me for the way I draped my saree and never shown an inch of my tummy… that was my personal choice and for my own comfortability.
Till the age of 20 I used to wear shirts with jeans instead of tops and t-shirts, which I think are more formal and decent looking dress. I never wore deep neck outfit, both back and front, but nothing changed. But, no matter what I wore and what not… the list of being harrassed, groped is never ending.
N Now when i am outside India, no one give a damn towards me and I wear whatever I want to without any second thought.
Why am I telling all these things is just to make my point, which I experienced after all, is that outfit doesn’t matters, ask a girl, what it feels like when someone do somthing like this to you. it gives me nightmares and a deep anger in my heart, whenever I see and listen a rape case. No one- no one can understand what that girl feels after such incident.
Being touched with a wrong intension is the worst feeling one can ever experience.
@mohd vajir, @surinder, @handsome4hotty2: MAN!!! You’re family members should be beware of you all. What do you mean by don’t wear seductive dresses? Its their choice want they want to wear. Don’t be a perverted creature. Be a Man. Who are you to decide who should wear what? Is it your country? Its their too you ridiculous human being. Why are thinking of raunchy visualization when a lady braless walks. There are so many anatomically beneficial reasons as to why women go braless. Did you know that? NO! Don’t decide who should wear what. It’s their prerogative. Be disciplined with your own family members but don’t try to rule other women.
@surinder: what do you mean by inviting trouble? NO a real man would have taken her home knowing she’s in a vulnerable state. She has passed out. She needs care. Its what a human would do. I don’t know your religion but for sure our Father Gandhi who speaks of conduct would have said take her home. It happens outside of India. Here in Australia women party harder but you don’t hear of rapes “just cos she is drunk.” Get your moral facts correct son. As I said the ladies and young girls of your family need to be weary of you. You’re a threat.
I totally agree with Shehnaz. This is an insult to almost 50% of our country. It’s a shame we don’t realize the role of a lady and how important that role is in our society. The main (if not the only) person we remember firmly throughout our life is our Mother. The person being raped and groped and whom we are trying to protect is going to be a Mother one day. Shouldn’t we revere them? If we break her confidence in such a young age how will she be a confident Mother who will teach her children strength and determination? So are we as a nation saying we don’t care about this? That there will come a time in our country after generations (given the current trend of rapes) that a new society of fearful children and feared ladies are going to be the major population? How can we call India our Motherland if we CAN’T PROTECT OUR VERY OWN MOTHERS. As a man I am ashamed of being part of a gender that has members who have stooped so low to point of raping babies. You deserve to never see your genitals at all. You deserve to die. I am sorry to be so offensive but this is horrible. That our very own ladies and girls of our nation are living in fear.
She is going to become a wife. Let her live that dream of being a beautiful wedded dulhan one day. Why are giving so much room for that dream to be broken. See there’s no point in saying why it is happening. It IS happening. What next is what we need to do about it. And that has to be VERY VERY EXTREME. Just the way raping has gone to an extreme level. And honestly if women take advantage of men and just make random claims I DONT CARE. Men have taken raping to an extreme case. Now it’s their turn. Sorry guy karma is a bitch. Time for men to get “raped” (metaphorically speaking). At least in that way every man will be that extra careful and live in fear of their image. Just the same way a rape victim’s image has been tainted.
I don’t even know how to conclude my comment cos I can just keep going on and on. If these celebs can’t do anything soon then ladies/girls/sisters/Ma here is what I have to say: GO AND GET THAT MACHINE GUN!
I really feel sorry for all the moments u been through. It is our shame. Our law enforcement is so weak n crippled. Being a guy I too wish death to them. I really can’t explain how terrible I am feeling to write over here. Y v act like a beast. V r human and v must act like a human.
I appreciate the emotional rhetoric of Shenaz. Severe punishments or capital punishment is not the only solutions though for rapists. We do have capital punishments for killers and murderers, but that doesn’t reduce the number of murders in our country. Social shame may to some extent control sexual behaviour of perverted men, in particular to rape, everyone should talk that rape is the most heinous and most pathetic among all the crimes. Generally, our society is male dominated and less respectful toward women. The rapist was a married man, so it was not really a need for meeting his perverted sexual desires, but his desire to abuse women who gave no respect for their dignity and value for their rights. We take the abuse by men toward women for granted and this encourages further atrocities towards the female gender. We can’t keep encourage indecency through Bollywood in our society and ask their actors to take a leading role to prevent sexual abuse in our society thats very much double standards. It is the duty of police and government to be very stringent on the issues of women safety and implement their duty with utmost performance.
See this video too. This is also one of the reason why there are not strict laws
httpvh://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YlgLSz5LME0
Well, life is not as simple as that. Over 40% rape cases in Delhi were false allegation by women to settle scores. You want to hang those men too? Or hang the women who filed false cases? The bail issue is real. But it is not only for rapists, it is true for all crimes. When deciding a case takes 20 years just in a lower court, you can’t keep the accused inside jail. Answer here is quick, time bound disposal of case by judiciary. Lastly, women need to decide whether they are equal to men or not. If they are, instead of asking men to save women, they should save themselves (which is the right way). Else they need to follow order from men and stay home.
Death penalty is not the answer though. The rapists will just start killing after the rape in order to keep their identity a secret.
Shenaaz, you have been the voice of all the women in our country. Hats off to you and I hope all the powerful men mentioned in your letter have read this.
Salute the woman! The girl has put the nail on the coffin. I’m deeply touched with her personal story and feel the same. Something DRASTIC has to happen, if INDIA has to change.
STRICTER laws as well its STRICTER enforcement should be the way to go!!
Death sentence to rapists? Seriously? That’s a little immature. Make our streets/public places/transport safer but please lets not demand the death penalty which is barbaric.
Respect!
PM ji….even a public toilet can’t be maintained well in karol bhag,heart of delhi which is capital of our country. There are things which need to be addressed in emergency issues like these than swacha Bharath,many people have mis-interpreted as “swecha Bharath”. we know you are a leader who can change. But addressing emergency issues where we need to set right with a wip than a rotten law.
Its such a terrible thing happened to you and I really admire your gut to bring to light. Unfortunately our great nation doesn’t have greater laws that that some bastards like this could easily evade and turn the page and move on. Uber deserves this treatment but that’s not a judgement to the things happening even today. There were numerous cases evolved even after the most gruesome murder-rape of a gal in Delhi couple of years back. This shows our lack of commitment to build a society we want to live. If one doesn’t respect women that shows their feeble mindset as to how they treat their mother/sisters. I’m voicing your request for a death penalty for those offenders. We are still humans and not animals. To all the powerful men, Make Stronger Laws such that these buggers fear to do this. Swachh Bharat begins at home. #Respect
I thank Shenaz for writing this letter. It’s exactly the way I grew up in India as well for the few years that I was there. It wasn’t until I went to live abroad that I realized that I needed didn’t need to fear a man walking into my chest or groping me in public, things like that only happen in India our own Country with our own men.
When my best friend who is a foreigner visited Mumbai used the train for the first time her experience was having a man put his hand under her shirt and try to remove her bra. The train was so full and noisy there was no place to move and even if she screamed she wouldn’t have been heard. When she tried resisting he pinned her one hand behind her back.
Why should I be respect and be proud to live in our Country when our own men don’t respect us and our law doesn’t protect us.
great work…your courage should be appreciated…
And yes women of India have to speak up & should fight against those scoundrels.. but how many time we will fight..why our govt is not strong enough to make us secure..why such people still exist..
Actually dats only because of a weak govt (system) in terms of women’s security in India..
Way to go. I’m definitely sharing this… Nd yes d fine gentleman need to now hear
If this letter don’t open the eyes of our leaders then nothing will.. I feel ashamed for being called a man, where man are doing such henious things and keep repeating that .. and still they are treated with mercy they are left to live while the women who sufferred through all this has to hide all her pain, hated by society if known or die trying to save themselves or killed by the rapist.. Is this the free India everyone dreamt of .. I guess NO .. is this the India everyone talks about where everyone respects women… I guess NO.. Is this the free india where women too have thier freedom and live without fear.. I guess NO.. This is nothing like the India everyone used to say or describe.. Its been polluted by such Henious Man who just destroying the name of Other MAN… This needs to be cleaned and cleaned for good so I raise my voice to go for the death penalty or life imprisonment without any chance of coming out and see the world again.. This needs to be in effect or else Our so called India will be fully covered with such henious people and we will always live in fear thinking about our mothers,sisters,wives,daughters if they are safe or not..
hell, that was sexy, an angry woman!
Take a bow Shenaz. This is really shame for all of us(men) who couldn’t assure that security to the ladies of our country. They do so much for us being a mother, sister, wife, or may be just being a friend and in return they just need a assurance that they are also entitled for all the freedom that we enjoy.
Its high time that we should and must raise our voice against all these barbaric criminals and protest and protect when ever we encounter any such situation. We have to take stern stance against these inhumans….. I pledge to protect women and raise voice against these criminals.
very true ….these ppl can help us in changing d law …….n hats off shenaz
Hi
Shenaj
I read your article or you say letter….
I just want to ask one question
I still confuse dear….
Ye galti hai kiski??????
Aakhir log kyu nahi smjh rahe hai in bato ko…..
Koi kyu nahi kr raha in sabke khilaf kisi bhi tarah ke strng action???
Aakhir vajah kya hai????
Har roj news paper me koi na koi aisi news hoti hi hai…..
Muje ye samajh me nahibata ke log insaniyat bhul kr hevan kyu ban gye hai…….
?? ?? ????????? ?? ??? ???? ??????, ?? ??? ???? ?? ?????, ???? ?? ???? ??, ?? ?? ?????, ??? ???? ???? ?????. ??????? ????? ?? ??? ?? ??? ???? ??? ?? ???? ?? ????. ?? ?? ?? ??? ??? ?? ??? ??? ??? ?? ???? ????? ?? ??? ?? ?????? ???? ?????? ?? ?? ??? ???? ???? ????. ?????? ?????? ?? ??? ???? ????? ??? ???. ????? ?? ???? ???? ???? ???? ???? ??. ?? ?? ??? ?? ??? ?? ?????? ??? ????? ?? ?? ????? ?? ????? ???? ????? ????. ????? ?? ?? ???? ?? ?? ??? ???? ???? ?? ??? ??? ???? ????? ?? ???? ??? ?? ??? ?? ??? ???? ????. ??? ??? ??? ???? ?????????? ?? ??? ????? ???? ??? 30-40 ??? ?? ???? ??? ???? ??? ??????? ?? ???? ????? ???? ???? ????.
Sonia Gandi
Jay Lalitha
Mamta Banerjee
Susma Swaraj
Smriti Irani
Pratibha Patil
Saina Nehwal
Uma Bharti
Mary Kom
Madhuri Dixit
Priyanka Chopra
Mayawati
Sania Mirza
Ask these women too for support. They are the POWERFUL WOMEN of India. Why just MEN?
i totally agree with you. i won’t offer my sympathy as some have here. i will just say you go ahead and do the good for our sisters b mothers. i salute u from my heart.
I know many won’t like this but death penalty for rapists cannot materialize in reality. Yes “it is always the fault of MEN” is a statement that everyone agrees upon but please go through a case study on rapes by The Hindu published a few months ago. More than 60% of the cases filed are fake. Death penalty is a serious deterrent but it can be grossly misused. Fight for things like better safety measures , better security, round the clock patrolling and a central database of criminals so that once a person is convicted there will be a record for everyone to see and be careful.