Dear Narendra Modi, Amitabh Bachchan, Sachin Tendulkar, Shahrukh Khan, Salman Khan, Aamir Khan and Anil Ambani,
I am writing to YOU specifically because you are the most powerful and influential MEN in our country.
I am writing to you as a woman who grew up in a middle class family in Mumbai.
I am writing to YOU for HELP!
My parents may not like me saying this. I apologize to them if they are reading but this is NOT MY SHAME. It’s THIER SHAME.
My first experience with the opposite sex, was when I was just 13 and groped by a man (never saw his face but will never forget his hand) while walking in the vegetable market with my mom. She had just given me the worst haircut and as an angry teenager I was upset at her and was lagging behind as she walked ahead. I still remember what I was wearing. It was her dress, mustard with flowers and little bow in the front. How I hate that dress! As if, it was the dress’s fault.
I was shocked at first. Speechless. He disappeared. I just stood there. Tears started pouring out of my innocent eyes. I told my mom who went mad screaming in the market but who knew where that man disappeared to. I still remember the dirty feeling I had and the number of times I showered in my grand-mom’s bathroom after. That feeling never went away.
Shenaz Treasurywala
Since then it was non-stop. I would try to articulate this to my parents and while my mom understood, my dad and uncles told me I was imagining it. Maybe they just couldn’t deal with it. CAN YOU?
When I was 15, I started going by train and bus to St. Xaviers’ College. I was groped and touched and from all angles and this was just how I grew up. Not Just Me but MOST INDIAN WOMEN who don’t have the luxury of cars and drivers.
As a teenager I would dream of and still sometimes dream that I had a machine gun and could kill all the men who tried to grope me. A very disturbing dream for a kid, don’t you think?
I got my first assignment as a model in the FYJC and I had to go to screen-tests straight from college. So I had to dress nice, didn’t make it any easier. I specifically remember the time I went for an audition in a red body suit and a black long skirt with slits. It was HELL! I never wore that again. As if it was the dress’s fault.
I developed ways to defend myself, I always carried a bag in front of me, my fist was always clenched, I always turned around every 20 seconds to check who was behind me and a few times I slapped men who touched me, I got slapped back many times too. Sometimes saved by the public, MOST TIMES NOT.
My mom begged me not to pick fights with men who touched me, she was afraid of acid being thrown at me or that somebody someday would hurt me badly. She is STILL AFRAID and today she told me not to take an UBER to my meeting tomorrow. Hell ya. BAN UBER! Make everyone take responsibility for this.
My sister got into Sophia’s college, we were all excited. She went by bus but the first day she came home, she sobbed traumatized. A man had put his hand in her tee-shirt through her sleeve, the entire bus ride. She just froze. She was a kid too and wasn’t equipped to even understand this. I was LIVID. I’m sorry sis for telling the world this, please don’t stop speaking to me. IT’S NOT Our Shame. It’s THEIRS!
One of my friends in college was RAPED on the train on her way home in the ladies compartment. She was sick and was going home in the 11:15 break. There was nobody in the first class compartment going back to Bandra at that time, it was a superfast meaning it didn’t stop at most stations. He raped her and then jumped off after using her scrunchy (hair tie) to wipe himself. She was the only one on the train and had to limp her way back to her home in Bandra, bleeding profusely. She was just 16. This she felt was her shame so she did not say anything to anyone.
BUT IT ISN’T HER SHAME, it’s THEIR SHAME.
My mom accompanied me to Hyderabad on a shoot once. In churi bazaar, a cyclist groped My MOM. My dear respected and lovely MOM.
Sorry Mom, IT’S NOT Our Shame, It’s THEIR SHAME.
Why am I telling you my personal story?
Well first I want all women to Speak Up.
Let’s make this our MOTTO-
It’s not OUR SHAME, it’s THEIR SHAME.
Who are “THEY”?
“THEY” ARE THE MEN IN OUR COUNTRY.
Not just the rapists and the sexual offenders and gropers but also our Fathers (sorry dad) and Uncles and Brothers and MOVIE STARS AND CRICKETERS AND POLITICIANS for not SAVING US or PROTECTING US by insisting and protesting for the LAWS TO CHANGE and Rapists and Gropers to BE PUNISHED SEVERELY!
Why do we as women have to feel so threatened? WHY has there been no severe action taken? This has gone on for years now. Not just in Delhi but all over our country and yes even in BOMBAY OR MUMBAI OR Whatever the hell you want to call it! It’s NOT SAFE. NO!
My biggest fear ever since I was kid and even today when I walk back home at night from yoga or when I take a rickshaw from a friend’s home is being RAPED. I still feel that fear. I am still am on guard. I still fantasize of having that MACHINE GUN.
In the past 4 years I have been living and working half in India and half in New York and let me tell you I have walked the streets of Harlem, the Bronx and Brooklyn (perceived as the most dangerous in NYC) at3am after parties in short skirts and felt safer than I feel in Bandra at 10 pm on a quiet road fully covered. WHY??
Let’s talk about Delhi our Capital. I was there 2 days ago and the day of the rape. I wanted to go out and walk by India Gate and admire our great monuments but could I?! Why??
What good are all your speeches in the US or Japan or AUSTRALIA- NAMO, if no woman can walk freely in the streets even in broad daylight by herself in the CAPITAL OF OUR COUNTRY. Isn’t this a SHAME? SHAME ON YOU SIR.
This is our NO1 issue. FIX THIS before anything else.
This is a SHAME. And it’s YOUR SHAME. You are now RESPONSIBLE FOR US.
I beg all of you fine gentlemen that I have addressed to help change the LAW.
You are powerful men. I say, SHAME and PUNISH THE Gropers and Sexual offenders severely. KILL THE RAPISTS.
I won’t ask for public castration which is what I want and all the women want because I know this is unrealistic and things move SO DAMN SLOW in our FINE NATION.
All I ask for is the -Death Penalty Please. NOW! QUICK!
If that’s too hard or will take too long then at least LIFE IMPRISONMENT.
Put them away forever.
Why was this man who had raped twice before out on bail?
And then given a drivers license? YES, BAN UBER TOO. Make everyone responsible.
I’m ready to do anything. I’m not a big enough celeb but you Sachin Tendulkar, Amitabh Bachchan, Salman Khan, Sharukh Khan, Aamir Khan, Anil Ambani SIRS- need to speak up as MEN ( you are the men with the power)
SAVE US!
Please demand the Death Sentence for the Rapists.
NO BAIL. Just Death.
Superstars I beg you, please take a stand. Use your Superstardom and Power and MONEY and save the women of our country. SAVE US!
I urge you to protest or go on a fast or do something DRASTIC so people take notice, the government wakes up and CHANGES the LAW so these men are terrified to touch us.
Death to rapists. No bail. Just death.
Imagine Amitabh Bachchan Sir, Aamir Khan, Salmaan Khan, Sachin Tendulkar, Anil Ambani- if you went on a fast or walked to the Rashrtrapati In Delhi. If you, took this stand and made this YOUR NO 1 issue, how much change there would be?!
Why should we as women feel so unsafe in our motherland?!
Why should we as women be terrified and on guard all the time.
Why was this man out on bail after committed two rapes already ?
Make an Example Of Him.
Any man who even touches a woman should be imprisoned for life.
Be strict, make examples of these men, scare those who dare to touch us.
SCARE THEM BY MAKING AN EXAMPLE OUT OF THEM.
SAVE US, Save your mother, daughter, sister please!
This is NOT OUR SHAME.
THIS IS YOURS.
SHAME ON YOU.
Don’t sleep till you – SAVE YOUR WOMEN!
With all respect,
Shenaz Treasurywala
shameful ….really it is…..will do our best.
Can you imagine a pregnant lady walking from hospital looking for an auto being groped? ? I underwent that too and it was not the first time it has happened . Since childhood many times in all modes of transport . Its time something is done before my daughter undergoes all that I had to.
Don’t worry sis Ull surely get a good result we’ll pray for it
Hats off…I support u..N I agree all women’s n girls in this country been harassed physically and even now getting harassed.. I agree.. Big mens should save us..
SALUTE TO YOU DEAR….!!!!
YOU ARE VERY COROUGEOUS… SALUTE YOU AGAIN…
This is the requirement of the time right now.. Agreed.
But at the same time, please understand there are some other views and concerns as well.. See what you’re asking here. I mean trying to ask. LAWS CHANGE. Are you serious? Stricter laws doesn’t mean a better place anyday, unless they are seriously and properly implemented. And that is what we need.
Also, we sometimes see situations or cases where sex was actually with mutual consent but later claimed as rape since things didn’t work out as expected or wanted. for example rape claims after marriage live-in relationships since they develop some differences. It would be obvious that sexual intercourse was one but that won’t mean as rape. And I guess you may understand what a death penalty to an innocent person mean!
Second thing, there is always a misunderstood term ‘freedom’. Off late after the Delhi Uber Rape case, I’ve read many articles over it and related, mostly written by females or feminists. Each and every single one of them asking for 1 thing, freedom. But what and how do you define freedom?
Please note, being able to go alone in midnight is NOT freedom.
Also, being able to do anything you want is NOT freedom.
And the most ridiculous one, one lady was so distressed that now she won’t be able to go out partying or anywhere late night because she again will start receiving calls from her home. With Uber, she thought she was not anymore answerable to anyone (read brothers, father, husband) for being late or partying late, or how will she come home late! THIS IS NOT FREEDOM. THIS IS BULLSH*T! Since when did Uber meant safety?
Are you freaking kidding me? by saying such things, you’re just making a joke of freedom.
Even men are not safe while walking out alone in midnight. Even as I go out sometimes, either walking, or in some cabs or on my bike, on each and every dark road, a fear instigates in me. I’m man so I think I won’t be raped (but you never know), but still anyone can do anything for money.
Moral is, you safety is only in your hands.
Although the cases and situations Shenaz mentioned are sightly different to what I’m talking about and more ladies are prone to it, so it should be deeply thought on how to reduce such things (manhandling of women). But still, there is still a thing of rapes.
Situation won’t change at all unless you change the mentality. And that will take a lot of time.
Castration or such other punishments will lead to more such crimes, and will lead to hatred and revenge crimes. And that is what we don’t want at all. Already we have lot of problems regarding safety of women.
Also note that rape cases are no less in USA OR other developed countries or even the more strict ones like gulf. Its just that the population is less their so number of such crimes are also bit less, but if you see the ratio of such crimes to population, India is still a better place.
Some gulf countries already have laws like death penalty or castration or life imprisonment, but that hasn’t helped them much. Just google out for such reports and you’ll know.
But yes, rapes are NOT acceptable at all. Manhandling is even not more.
Also, just because a man has been pointed as rapist, doesn’t mean he really is and should be judged as rapist, just because he is a man and he can do it. There should be a fair trial. By fair, I mean no pre-judgements please!
Also, its not that just women are raped. Men are also raped, by other men and women, both. But nobody cares at all.
We shall stand together to create a healthy environment without any gender discrimination.
To make laws more effective a balance needs to be maintained. Laws cannot be favoring the weak nor the strong, and that’s what the biggest problem with our country and hell, all around the world. Be it for little things like walking on the road when the signal is green or murder.
Our laws need heavy tweaking, and yes, an example needs to be made of the perpetrators, but let there also be great punishment for people who fake these – http://stopfakecases.wordpress.com/ .
Let there be an all round change.
I respect Shenaz for taking this burning issue and sort of challenge to these TOP personalities of India to take up this issue very seriously and act quickly to do some thing fruitful. The punishment shoud be castration and life impresonment with full of inhuman treatment till their death,nobody allowed to meet them.Some human right activist may oppose to this, but damn it,these cruel people deserve the worst treatment throuout their life,hope all women in this country will walk freely with no fear of RAPE or Molestation very soon.
What a gr8 thought. Everywomen should be like shenaz we have to change the dirty mind people around us.
I Salute you, if one women come out dearly,changes will happen,but still we have to take the chance from our end.kindly requesting to the girls to behave properly in the public, were proper cloths, avoid mobile phones.
yes i do understand and concern on the issue . but don’t you think there are few shameless people does this kind of activity. it include male and female both. highlighting gender particular is not a solution. it has to control by giving guidelines and educating public. Even if problem does not get solved than there should be direct punishment not legal action. The Punishment should be their family, teachers and friends as well. so that people will control people. Male will control male , female will control female. it is our moral responsibility to save society and allow them to enjoy freedom.
Law should be to cut the rapist organ so that he should not only forget to do such criminal activity but should be ashamed of himself for the whole life. People should see him with hate for his rest of the life. Death penalty is a very week punishment for this crime.
Felt terrible reading this by Shenaz. No woman should have to bear all this torture and humiliation and then have to fight the insults and insensitivity by men/woman around her.
To the a**holes who blame short dresses, women’s “seduction” and ‘invitations”, the maximum per capita rape cases occur in rural India wherein ‘dresses’ are not common. I also would like them to ask their MOMs if they ever faced any sexual harassment ever. Cities like Delhi and Bombay still have less reported cases and yet 80% of women have faced harassment and assault in their lifetimes.
I just want to say that the only long term solution is training men from the age of 3-4 to be sensitive towards women (their space and body is their own), legalizing pornography, introduce sex education as a serious subject in all schools and introduce life imprisonment for convicted rapists and sexual assaults. We have to make this a big deal and create environments wherein this doesn’t happen.
The judiciary system of the whole country should be handed over to the women of the nation and issue a public notice with proper video ads saying, ” Now that Indian women holds the maximum power, all men whoever look. touch or talk to a woman must be executed immediately, all or any amendments to the severity of the punishments will be delivered without prior notice..”
And that video should be aired continuously on every channel available in India and even its neighboring countries..
Almost all the girls in India is facing this problem,,girls need to be courageous to get these kind of matters out,,there is a punishment for rapists then y not for groppers,,we have to get these kind of issues in front of everyone nd fight for it..let’s get them punished rather dan suffering
When any ?women? showing herself, exposing herself, giving pose for Photo-shot with very ??sensual? dress, showing her ??sensitive? curves to everyone….
and after that, she saying “Please hang ?rapists?, Kill Rapists, keep them ?#?prison? for whole life even if they touch any women..bla..bla…bla..bla..bla..
Now whats your opinion about them? I mean, these types of women who blame only ??Men? but not ?responsible? for their own what are they doing…
Only Men responsible for these types of activities?? Women’s are not responsible?!!! Aren’t they making men’s brute by exposing themselves as seductive….. AREN’t THEY? Then why you all blame Men???!!!
Dear Women/Ladies,
When a man become ??brute? then he is not a man anymore… and brute never leave anyone…. because, Brute is just Brute. Now before raise your voice to punish and before punishing Rapists think what makes them Rapists? What are responsible for all of these?!!! Have you ever ask yourself?? Aren’t You seducing them to become brute/animal and now you are shouting to kill them?????!!!!!!!!
And you the same person saying “??Teach_you_son_not_to_Rap, Don’t_Teach_us_what_to_Wear?” What a lame logic…..!!!!! Have you ever heard that any “Blind man rapes someone”? You didn’t… Do you know Why???? Have you ever ask yourself why??
Please Don’t blame only Men….. coz you are also responsible for these too….
.
.
.
“Tell the believing men to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts. That is purer for them. Indeed, Allah is Acquainted with what they do.” [ Al Qur’an- 24:30]
“And tell the believing women to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts and not expose their adornment except that which [necessarily] appears thereof and to wrap [a portion of] their headcovers over their chests and not expose their adornment except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands’ fathers, their sons, their husbands’ sons, their brothers, their brothers’ sons, their sisters’ sons, their women, that which their right hands possess, or those male attendants having no physical desire, or children who are not yet aware of the private aspects of women. And let them not stamp their feet to make known what they conceal of their adornment. And turn to Allah in repentance, all of you, O believers, that you might succeed.” [ Al Qur’an- 24:31]
(sorry for my bad English)
Hi! I’m from Pakistan. It breaks my heart to read such a strong and sad story. Women shouldn’t be treated like this and I agree with Shenaz, government should take the strict policies against molesters and rapists. Women has lots of relationships in any society, she’s first of all someone’s daughter then wife, mother, aunt, grandmother and list goes on.
As has been pointed out, this should well be the no. 1 issue to attend. We first want to be a happy country and then a developed nation. And, if uncivilized acts like these continue to happen to girls/women, who are for sure somebody’s mother/sister/daughter, for whom we do have immense respect at home, definitely we can’t be happy.
It is also my earnest request to Mr Modi to attend to this problem first giving topmost priority.
These men have no respect for there mothers or sisters, let alone the society in general. The Police Force is so corrupt, it’s no wonder that there is no discipline in the society. Look at the behaviour of our Parliamentary Members.
Hats off… I salute ur effort n 1st step against humiliation and molestation of women.
We dnt want sympathy but our safety that we deserve being an Indian citizenship….. “HUMSE HAIN DUNIYA SARI”…..
First of all another eye opening article for all. This is not a debate of who and how she is getting raped. Even men are also getting robed, sometimes molested by women. Let’s bring together more social awareness to our generation.
We ourselves can’t do much to these idiot people who thinks rape and molestation is an awesome thing to do. Let our law handle it. But lets produce a more aware and responsible generation. So that our and our children’s future remainssecure secure.
Yes, we must have strict rules.
But before that we must implement first basic thing.
Don’t hide these rapists in black cloth while in Media.
Show them in Media.
Take an interview with good psychologists openly in Media channels with questions like, what they actually thought while doing this abhorrent crime.
What was their mental state.
What insisted them to do this.
What if someone does with their family members.
Their should be open questions allowed from public.
I believe few interviews will alone transform those who have done this and other Men of India who ever thought of doing this. In the process it will also transform people who believe that giving death penalty is the only solution.
At the end Forgiveness is also important to prevent our future
We should discuss this topic in public. Understand what happens during those 3 mins. How human changes to animal. This must bring transformation with awareness. Else, we will all become Anti-Human, like people have become Anti-Uber :|
Yes, laws are required but discussion openly without any constraints can solve 80% of the problems.
The article you have written is brilliant in all aspects but just one that your appeal is to MEN- these men of great stature dont believe in saving us because if they did steps would have been taken ages ago.
Indian men are the most crowd of the lot and the once you address to are no different so protecting ourselves is a responsibility we need to take ourselves because no anyone really cares but us…
When you ask for help, you may consider to focus your letter on how can they help you. For what has been happening in the world, most grown ups know that it’s not a safe world anymore. It would be of great help if you can tell how can this be helped. You are being emotional, which is totally fine; I’m 28; I have friends/sisters/cousins who have gone through these. We are all frustrated. But we need practical solutions which can be implemented in near future. For now the best thing we can do ourselves is protect ourselves from the mad dogs roaming in the streets. Hope you take care.
Any thoughts Ms. Treasurywala or anyone else?
In response to Shenaz Treasuryawala’s Open Letter:
(Declaration: I completely honor author’s feelings, but I share little different views about this issue. And this letter is in response to this article.)
Respected author,
I lived in Mumbai for 20+ years. I traveled by train, bus, share-auto and all other possible public transportation. Went through poorest areas to very rich areas of this city. And honestly speaking, I never witnessed any such ‘severe’ sexual assaults.
You may say, such assaults don’t happen openly, so I never came across it. But considering total outgoing women population in the city and the frequency of assaults claimed by the author, I should have witnessed .. hmm if not in hundreds but atleast in tens. Why none ?!
You may say, I’m male chauvinist and I’m trying to suppress such issues. No ! Not at all ! I absolutely honored all women around me through out my life and also hate men who pass lewd comments / keep on staring girls. Infact, I scold my friends (male as well as female), when they pass comments on girls in their absence.
I personally found the article quite hyped (once again – no offence to author – its my personal views). Author has clearly expressed extreme views:
– any man who “even touches” women should be “imprisoned for life”
– sometimes I dream that I had a machine gun and could “kill” all men who “tried” to grope me.
and so on …
Mumbai has been proved quite safe city for women in past – not my personal views, but even views of my girl friends across the country. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPFdLWPJGck). Infact I have traveled through top developed countries, and never saw seats reserved for women, men helping middle-aged / old women, the way I have seen in Mumbai. There are only few countries in the world who offer reservation to women in any field.
I’m not completely rejecting sexual assaults happening in the country. But plugging this issue to such extent is debatable ! It not only disrupts social equanimity, but also creates false fear / anger about Indian men. There are other minor repercussions to –
– impact on tourism
– women extorting men (http://www.indiatimes.com/news/india/5-difficult-questions-about-rohtaks-bravehearts-that-will-make-you-question-the-girls-228765.html)
– impact on career-freedom to young girls from family / society.
“Its not good to stretch rubber beyond a limit, else it hurts you back”.
—
A Sincere Mumbai Man
I must say what she says is ryt….and YES there should be serious LAW passed for the
Women to walk free with out any strings pulling them back.
I also urge the govt to ACT UPON AT ONCE ON THIS ISSUE.
JAI HIND
wow wow wow ………..I salute you Shenaz. I have a daughter who shall be studying for her degree next year in one of the mteros. your letter scares the shit out of me. I studied in Ahmedabad in the 80s and it is considered one of the safest cities for women. I believe that has changed…
Sincerely hope the Govt changes the law.. Bravo!
if you want a change don ask sachin tendulkar or Modi.. they are busy.. they are doing enough already!..
shame your dad, uncle and brothers into behaving properly.. if every woman does this, there will be a change for sure..
?#?Rape?
Take all the filthy demons accused of rape and distribute them as per the rape case ratios and send them to respective states of India
, covering each one
And execute them publicly, media showing each story in brief and covering the action live
In fact each channel should broadcast that live
Govt should declare that time / day as off and ensure every one watches that at every corner of the country
This I think would make a difference!!!
# Mr Narendra Modi, are you listening?
This is an Indian, more than that a human being asking for justice
, also a better and safe tomorrow!!!
I am sorry and ashamed. Got no excuse got no explanation.