Dear Narendra Modi, Amitabh Bachchan, Sachin Tendulkar, Shahrukh Khan, Salman Khan, Aamir Khan and Anil Ambani,
I am writing to YOU specifically because you are the most powerful and influential MEN in our country.
I am writing to you as a woman who grew up in a middle class family in Mumbai.
I am writing to YOU for HELP!
My parents may not like me saying this. I apologize to them if they are reading but this is NOT MY SHAME. It’s THIER SHAME.
My first experience with the opposite sex, was when I was just 13 and groped by a man (never saw his face but will never forget his hand) while walking in the vegetable market with my mom. She had just given me the worst haircut and as an angry teenager I was upset at her and was lagging behind as she walked ahead. I still remember what I was wearing. It was her dress, mustard with flowers and little bow in the front. How I hate that dress! As if, it was the dress’s fault.
I was shocked at first. Speechless. He disappeared. I just stood there. Tears started pouring out of my innocent eyes. I told my mom who went mad screaming in the market but who knew where that man disappeared to. I still remember the dirty feeling I had and the number of times I showered in my grand-mom’s bathroom after. That feeling never went away.
Shenaz Treasurywala
Since then it was non-stop. I would try to articulate this to my parents and while my mom understood, my dad and uncles told me I was imagining it. Maybe they just couldn’t deal with it. CAN YOU?
When I was 15, I started going by train and bus to St. Xaviers’ College. I was groped and touched and from all angles and this was just how I grew up. Not Just Me but MOST INDIAN WOMEN who don’t have the luxury of cars and drivers.
As a teenager I would dream of and still sometimes dream that I had a machine gun and could kill all the men who tried to grope me. A very disturbing dream for a kid, don’t you think?
I got my first assignment as a model in the FYJC and I had to go to screen-tests straight from college. So I had to dress nice, didn’t make it any easier. I specifically remember the time I went for an audition in a red body suit and a black long skirt with slits. It was HELL! I never wore that again. As if it was the dress’s fault.
I developed ways to defend myself, I always carried a bag in front of me, my fist was always clenched, I always turned around every 20 seconds to check who was behind me and a few times I slapped men who touched me, I got slapped back many times too. Sometimes saved by the public, MOST TIMES NOT.
My mom begged me not to pick fights with men who touched me, she was afraid of acid being thrown at me or that somebody someday would hurt me badly. She is STILL AFRAID and today she told me not to take an UBER to my meeting tomorrow. Hell ya. BAN UBER! Make everyone take responsibility for this.
My sister got into Sophia’s college, we were all excited. She went by bus but the first day she came home, she sobbed traumatized. A man had put his hand in her tee-shirt through her sleeve, the entire bus ride. She just froze. She was a kid too and wasn’t equipped to even understand this. I was LIVID. I’m sorry sis for telling the world this, please don’t stop speaking to me. IT’S NOT Our Shame. It’s THEIRS!
One of my friends in college was RAPED on the train on her way home in the ladies compartment. She was sick and was going home in the 11:15 break. There was nobody in the first class compartment going back to Bandra at that time, it was a superfast meaning it didn’t stop at most stations. He raped her and then jumped off after using her scrunchy (hair tie) to wipe himself. She was the only one on the train and had to limp her way back to her home in Bandra, bleeding profusely. She was just 16. This she felt was her shame so she did not say anything to anyone.
BUT IT ISN’T HER SHAME, it’s THEIR SHAME.
My mom accompanied me to Hyderabad on a shoot once. In churi bazaar, a cyclist groped My MOM. My dear respected and lovely MOM.
Sorry Mom, IT’S NOT Our Shame, It’s THEIR SHAME.
Why am I telling you my personal story?
Well first I want all women to Speak Up.
Let’s make this our MOTTO-
It’s not OUR SHAME, it’s THEIR SHAME.
Who are “THEY”?
“THEY” ARE THE MEN IN OUR COUNTRY.
Not just the rapists and the sexual offenders and gropers but also our Fathers (sorry dad) and Uncles and Brothers and MOVIE STARS AND CRICKETERS AND POLITICIANS for not SAVING US or PROTECTING US by insisting and protesting for the LAWS TO CHANGE and Rapists and Gropers to BE PUNISHED SEVERELY!
Why do we as women have to feel so threatened? WHY has there been no severe action taken? This has gone on for years now. Not just in Delhi but all over our country and yes even in BOMBAY OR MUMBAI OR Whatever the hell you want to call it! It’s NOT SAFE. NO!
My biggest fear ever since I was kid and even today when I walk back home at night from yoga or when I take a rickshaw from a friend’s home is being RAPED. I still feel that fear. I am still am on guard. I still fantasize of having that MACHINE GUN.
In the past 4 years I have been living and working half in India and half in New York and let me tell you I have walked the streets of Harlem, the Bronx and Brooklyn (perceived as the most dangerous in NYC) at3am after parties in short skirts and felt safer than I feel in Bandra at 10 pm on a quiet road fully covered. WHY??
Let’s talk about Delhi our Capital. I was there 2 days ago and the day of the rape. I wanted to go out and walk by India Gate and admire our great monuments but could I?! Why??
What good are all your speeches in the US or Japan or AUSTRALIA- NAMO, if no woman can walk freely in the streets even in broad daylight by herself in the CAPITAL OF OUR COUNTRY. Isn’t this a SHAME? SHAME ON YOU SIR.
This is our NO1 issue. FIX THIS before anything else.
This is a SHAME. And it’s YOUR SHAME. You are now RESPONSIBLE FOR US.
I beg all of you fine gentlemen that I have addressed to help change the LAW.
You are powerful men. I say, SHAME and PUNISH THE Gropers and Sexual offenders severely. KILL THE RAPISTS.
I won’t ask for public castration which is what I want and all the women want because I know this is unrealistic and things move SO DAMN SLOW in our FINE NATION.
All I ask for is the -Death Penalty Please. NOW! QUICK!
If that’s too hard or will take too long then at least LIFE IMPRISONMENT.
Put them away forever.
Why was this man who had raped twice before out on bail?
And then given a drivers license? YES, BAN UBER TOO. Make everyone responsible.
I’m ready to do anything. I’m not a big enough celeb but you Sachin Tendulkar, Amitabh Bachchan, Salman Khan, Sharukh Khan, Aamir Khan, Anil Ambani SIRS- need to speak up as MEN ( you are the men with the power)
SAVE US!
Please demand the Death Sentence for the Rapists.
NO BAIL. Just Death.
Superstars I beg you, please take a stand. Use your Superstardom and Power and MONEY and save the women of our country. SAVE US!
I urge you to protest or go on a fast or do something DRASTIC so people take notice, the government wakes up and CHANGES the LAW so these men are terrified to touch us.
Death to rapists. No bail. Just death.
Imagine Amitabh Bachchan Sir, Aamir Khan, Salmaan Khan, Sachin Tendulkar, Anil Ambani- if you went on a fast or walked to the Rashrtrapati In Delhi. If you, took this stand and made this YOUR NO 1 issue, how much change there would be?!
Why should we as women feel so unsafe in our motherland?!
Why should we as women be terrified and on guard all the time.
Why was this man out on bail after committed two rapes already ?
Make an Example Of Him.
Any man who even touches a woman should be imprisoned for life.
Be strict, make examples of these men, scare those who dare to touch us.
SCARE THEM BY MAKING AN EXAMPLE OUT OF THEM.
SAVE US, Save your mother, daughter, sister please!
This is NOT OUR SHAME.
THIS IS YOURS.
SHAME ON YOU.
Don’t sleep till you – SAVE YOUR WOMEN!
With all respect,
Shenaz Treasurywala
Dear,
Sometime it happen that a innocent who had done nothing is punished bcoz of a women or girl ego. Don’t use this a tool to punished innocent man around u. In many cases man is punished just bcoz they had some personal issue. First try to stop this it’s a request.
Ye ol that this lady has said is true otherwise y would anyone leave his/her country and live abroad because yes unlike india v girls feel much safer abroad and Australia is one other name where I can say I feel very safe being a woman.Here nobody stares your or try to touch as vryone has their own hot stuff n they respect other women.
it z d mst difficult probs in India..
so i m requesting all the persons even every1 2 support @shehnaz 2 raise hr voice against d probs..
hope PM.. SALMAN ..SHAHRUKH…AAMIR ..AMITABH …wll do somthing quickly..this is nt only her probs but every girl who go outside…we need some change…PLEASE…
To have a safe place for women , the mind set of the Male ego needs to be changed. We are in a country which still looks down on women and do not consider them equal to men. We are a country where still there are child marriages and Khap Panchayats who are ready to kill people who try to marry out of caste. We still have places where the female foeticide is a regular practice, we still have places where Sati is still considered a Right . We are still not ready to accept women on a equal footing and respect her for what she is, and until this mind set changes nothing will change. It is not the women that need the change , it is the men that need to be enlightened.
High time every citizen took a stand on these issue. Time to wake up and act. Frame tough laws which punish all whether rich or poor.
There is a need to change the mind set from the primary level in our system. It is high time when we realize and accept the true place and respect for women in our society. Instead of going for corrective measures, let us start focusing on preventive measures to build better society with time. I admire and respect your thoughts and the strength you have shown for sharing your experiences with us !!!.
Salute to Shenaz … Brave act.
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Majority of ladies out there has faced such acts not only from strangers but from uncles..cousins..relatives.. friends..how will they be punished unless victims speak out.. and if at all very few courageously do so.. family and friends would somehow suppress it.. as seen in HIGHWAY movie.
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Seriously i believe de change in culture has to happen first in every single home… kids has to see their father respecting their mother and protecting her… if they see mom being physical and mentaly tortured by dad, how will they learn to respect women in society. We women has to cultivate it in our kids. I have seen a mother agreeing to de fact dat if her daughter-inlaw raise voice for rights and freedom.. its okay for her son to physically abuse his wife and misbehave.
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Who is a Gentleman??? One who dress up in designer cloths.. one who is softspoken…. one who is spineless… one who is so badly insecure dat to win an arguement he physically abuses his wife and threatens her… or one who acts friendly politely and use women for his sexual urges…. ???????
Salute you for taking a stand… And I’m very sorry.. Whatever happened… I promise I’ll protect you all.. And if by how I get power in my hand.. I’ll change the rule… Death to the RAPIST…
Her letter is good, but she should have been professional. I don’t understand her capitalizing certain words. I understand the point behind doing that, but it takes away from the professionalism. You have to write a proper letter because you are writing the letter to the indian government, not just to end up on Facebook or be sensationalized via media. Your life experience was very critical to the message and you should have expanded on that more, even though its a sensitive topic.
India is a patriarchal society, meaning it is run by men. Shaming them doesn’t do much because they are raised to be always right, even if they aren’t, and for women to walk behind men. Protests for a better government have to continue. You have to have the public behind you and willing to participate for a better India. Having support from powerful people is important in the sense of money. Yes, they can influence the media, but the government isn’t just going to miraculously listen because Aamir Khan said so. The people are the most powerful card in the game of life.
Shehnaz, you want to rate Rape as numero one issue– Hard Luck to all females in our country. Nowadays the ruling party along with their allies are busy doing Homecoming rituals!!! The tradition and culture is very dear to us above the Dignity and Life of anyone. We are becoming good orators,competitors,teachers, advisors for the world but sorry to say “Like Wolf in the Sheep Skin”\.
I am very glad Shenaz for standing up for all they women’s in our country. Hopefully some strict action to be taken agsinst those BASTARD. Death also seems a small punishment for them. Rapist should be torched each & every second of their lifes till they are dead
Its a shame on entire male fraternity. Her pains are legitimate and we the males are responsible.we need to change our mindset,protect our women folk in public life from such incidences.We should take responsibility to react to such overt happenings in public life.
And yes, I too advocate that rapist should be sent to gallows;no bail,no hearing.We need to have very very strict laws to curb this nonsense from our society.
Jst waitin’ fr the day to have a breath free of terror.. plz do smthn’.. m
ake such dogs impotent..
Hats Off,Shenaz!
I have lived through such horrific experiences and instead of being strong, I am still scared!
Please bring the change all over the country not just few cities/states!
Salute for the lady.
Yes Indian mans r the most shameless creature in this world .
By reading ur statement now I m feeling shame of being a male.
Yes this should be removed from country the govt should take storing action about. .. ..y a girl should live in a place of this beast .this beasts should b killed out of our society . do allway remember girls r the one who brought us to this world .they r our sister mother lover. So peoples do respect fields. Save them from the beasts of our country. Plsssss
Salute for the lady.
Yes Indian mans r the most shameless creature in this world .
By reading ur statement now I m feeling shame of being a male.
Yes this should be removed from country the govt should take storing action about. .. ..y a girl should live in a place of this beast .this beasts should b killed out of our society . do allway remember girls r the one who brought us to this world .they r our sister mother lover. So peoples do respect fields. Save them from the beasts of our country. Plsssss
A tree fallen in the jungle…there is no one in who will listen this. very well said but it will always remin on papers !! this is what is INDIA.
What makes you so sure that the so called powerful men you are requesting for heping women have not done the same a long time ago . Rape or molesting is all about misusing power which the male gender tends to use till such a time comes where the same not so powerful people speak out that its time for vendetta. I think you are more powerful than any of us to take a stand…Some more not so powerful people like you have to stop playing victims and thrash out and scream in full volume.
Regards,
Captain Sujata Jha
Salute for the lady.
Yes Indian mans r the most shameless creature in this world .
By reading ur statement now I m feeling shame of being a male.
Yes this should be removed from country the govt should take strong action about. .. ..y a girl should live in a place of this beast .this beasts should b killed out of our society . do allway remember girls r the one who brought us to this world .they r our sister mother lover. So peoples do respect girls. Save them from the beasts of our country. Plsssss
Shame on those… It happen not because sombody dare to do it, rather it happens Cos we the white collar s keep silence when it happened.
Brave Lady..
I love India dearly, growing up in England with Indian influences surrounding me and after two visits when I learnt so much about her, at one time being an expert on Indian movies in the 1970s when most of my friends and acquaintances were East Indian. It is difficult to believe that a country one has learnt to love and respect has such a terrible record in this one arena. If India doesn’t soon deal with this problem its reputation will be so sullied that the Western World will take even more notice and decide to interfere and put pressure on the Indian Government. I doubt that the Government will appreciate that kind of outside interference. Good luck with your movement ! You’re right if someone of the calibre of Amitabh Bachchan stands up and loudly says it has to stop and that the government must pass more laws that curtail this behaviour the Government of India will take notice.
i must appticiate your efforts..yu did a great job..no words…quit touchy..but one thing i must mention that when a women dress up properly it decreases 70% chances to be raped..i just googled you and can see your those parts which shouldnt be visible..think about it plz..
Salute to you.. i feel ur emotions and have been through similar situations all through out the 6 yrs i have spent in india.. trust me its not the same every where.. in gulf countries the rules are so strict tht people are afraid of the law..i never had the gutts to react to those men out in public as i feared tht i would not get support from the people present at the scene.. the worst situation was when it happened in a religious place.. in a place where it was least expected.. i went in with my frnds..i closed my eyes n prayed.. few moments latr i felt two hands holdingme at the side of my waist..n tht man said something in my ear that im still ashamed to say out loud..i stil rembr tht day.. i got out frm ther as quickly as possible.. tears started pouring out my eyes.. my girl friends were worried..i was so ashamed tht i couldnt tell thm at tht time.. i managed to tell them abt the groping part of it.. but i couldnt identify tht shameless man frm the huge morning crowd.. as obvious there was nothing we could do..iv never worn tht dress or visited that place ever since.. i cursed him over a million times and those of u reading this who have been involved in a similar act just remember the bad things happening to you in your life right now are the fruits of ur actions ( they say karma is a bich u know)and.also know that worse is yet come.. learn to respect humans for whomthey and not merely as an object to attain pleasure… we need strict laws for everything.. punish the wrong doers.. law tht applies to all .. irrelevent to his designation, money, political influence or anything fr tht matter..im confident tht Modi ji will defintly do something regarding this.lets start from the basics.. cleanliness..impose huge fines on those who litter,spit or damage public property and surroundings ..start with tht.. create a fear of the laws and rules in our country.. now ppl hav a feeling tht watever they do they can always get away with it if they hav money.. change that..soon vl b able change many things..
Think seriously
Salute, hats off to the brave lady.Expressing my views as a physician and father of only child 17 yr daughter. Life sentence for rapist must be made a law.These sexual harassment can not be prevented by law ( just for example it would be very difficult to enforce a law for unwanted touching in overcrowded buses and trains and then it would be mockery of the law). We have to change the mindset of the society as a whole where an offender must feel shame rather than victim.
These changes are long drawn process for example our grandparents got married without knowing what it’s all about, our partners had a chance to see each other ( though as exhibit only), our time love marriage well accepted, next generation will have privilege of inter- religion acceptable or even live in relationships.
Please sensitise your sons and brothers and don’t defend them.
ALL the people who have commented on this post. I am very thankful and good see your comments. But this is not enough. Let’s file a petition for asking death for each and everyone who committed such crime or going to be.
LET’S file a petition and share PUBLIC POWER!
This is not wrong or nothing against the government but it is for the sack of our Sisters, Daughters, Mothers and all the respected lady out there.
Yes, this is No1 issue to be addressed wiie. Respect all Human Beings. Be tough and fair to let it happen. Namo truly said, ask your son where he was the whole night and why he is late, But also ask your daugther to dress sensibly and help yourself by not indulging in pubs and parties. We need to maintain the culture, and let me let you if Men are Men then Women should also act like women, they should not act like men as the fact is fact and you are responsible for yourself. BE YOURSELF and BE SAFE. I Agree, we should take a strong action for those who are culprit and give death penalty to the rapist. Let’s demand for it. Regards to all.
With all due respects, Mr. Bachhan had the time to promote Tennis a few days back in Delhi, a game he is not even remotely associated with. And guess what, he even shook a leg with Federer and Deepika in tow. Our celebrities are respectful people, remember. They will do these high profile interviews and meet these foreign nationals but they will never do a fast if required to bring a change in the country that gave them name, fame and money. Shame is theirs really.
“We men” dont whinge over woman fighting for equality.We fight alongside them. “Little boys” do the whingeing and blaming
I thinks this is something every single woman faces in our country. Everyday everywhere we come across random men trying to touch us up and feel us up. No place is safe! It might be ur neighbours labour, ur dad’s friend, some old man sitting next u and telling you stories about his daughter who goes to the same college as yours, the guy you love and trust him enough to go out on a date with, are all monsters in disguise. We are surrounded by such demons all the time. We can never let our guards down. Not at home, not at school and definitely not in public places. We are not weak, we are trained and made felt to be ashamed. We are trained to feel it is our fault and our shame by this patriarchal society. It is every man’s responsibility and every man’s shame that we woman feel this way. The very fact that we come out and speak out of this in the open is the beginning of a new revolution.