Dear Narendra Modi, Amitabh Bachchan, Sachin Tendulkar, Shahrukh Khan, Salman Khan, Aamir Khan and Anil Ambani,
I am writing to YOU specifically because you are the most powerful and influential MEN in our country.
I am writing to you as a woman who grew up in a middle class family in Mumbai.
I am writing to YOU for HELP!
My parents may not like me saying this. I apologize to them if they are reading but this is NOT MY SHAME. It’s THIER SHAME.
My first experience with the opposite sex, was when I was just 13 and groped by a man (never saw his face but will never forget his hand) while walking in the vegetable market with my mom. She had just given me the worst haircut and as an angry teenager I was upset at her and was lagging behind as she walked ahead. I still remember what I was wearing. It was her dress, mustard with flowers and little bow in the front. How I hate that dress! As if, it was the dress’s fault.
I was shocked at first. Speechless. He disappeared. I just stood there. Tears started pouring out of my innocent eyes. I told my mom who went mad screaming in the market but who knew where that man disappeared to. I still remember the dirty feeling I had and the number of times I showered in my grand-mom’s bathroom after. That feeling never went away.
Shenaz Treasurywala
Since then it was non-stop. I would try to articulate this to my parents and while my mom understood, my dad and uncles told me I was imagining it. Maybe they just couldn’t deal with it. CAN YOU?
When I was 15, I started going by train and bus to St. Xaviers’ College. I was groped and touched and from all angles and this was just how I grew up. Not Just Me but MOST INDIAN WOMEN who don’t have the luxury of cars and drivers.
As a teenager I would dream of and still sometimes dream that I had a machine gun and could kill all the men who tried to grope me. A very disturbing dream for a kid, don’t you think?
I got my first assignment as a model in the FYJC and I had to go to screen-tests straight from college. So I had to dress nice, didn’t make it any easier. I specifically remember the time I went for an audition in a red body suit and a black long skirt with slits. It was HELL! I never wore that again. As if it was the dress’s fault.
I developed ways to defend myself, I always carried a bag in front of me, my fist was always clenched, I always turned around every 20 seconds to check who was behind me and a few times I slapped men who touched me, I got slapped back many times too. Sometimes saved by the public, MOST TIMES NOT.
My mom begged me not to pick fights with men who touched me, she was afraid of acid being thrown at me or that somebody someday would hurt me badly. She is STILL AFRAID and today she told me not to take an UBER to my meeting tomorrow. Hell ya. BAN UBER! Make everyone take responsibility for this.
My sister got into Sophia’s college, we were all excited. She went by bus but the first day she came home, she sobbed traumatized. A man had put his hand in her tee-shirt through her sleeve, the entire bus ride. She just froze. She was a kid too and wasn’t equipped to even understand this. I was LIVID. I’m sorry sis for telling the world this, please don’t stop speaking to me. IT’S NOT Our Shame. It’s THEIRS!
One of my friends in college was RAPED on the train on her way home in the ladies compartment. She was sick and was going home in the 11:15 break. There was nobody in the first class compartment going back to Bandra at that time, it was a superfast meaning it didn’t stop at most stations. He raped her and then jumped off after using her scrunchy (hair tie) to wipe himself. She was the only one on the train and had to limp her way back to her home in Bandra, bleeding profusely. She was just 16. This she felt was her shame so she did not say anything to anyone.
BUT IT ISN’T HER SHAME, it’s THEIR SHAME.
My mom accompanied me to Hyderabad on a shoot once. In churi bazaar, a cyclist groped My MOM. My dear respected and lovely MOM.
Sorry Mom, IT’S NOT Our Shame, It’s THEIR SHAME.
Why am I telling you my personal story?
Well first I want all women to Speak Up.
Let’s make this our MOTTO-
It’s not OUR SHAME, it’s THEIR SHAME.
Who are “THEY”?
“THEY” ARE THE MEN IN OUR COUNTRY.
Not just the rapists and the sexual offenders and gropers but also our Fathers (sorry dad) and Uncles and Brothers and MOVIE STARS AND CRICKETERS AND POLITICIANS for not SAVING US or PROTECTING US by insisting and protesting for the LAWS TO CHANGE and Rapists and Gropers to BE PUNISHED SEVERELY!
Why do we as women have to feel so threatened? WHY has there been no severe action taken? This has gone on for years now. Not just in Delhi but all over our country and yes even in BOMBAY OR MUMBAI OR Whatever the hell you want to call it! It’s NOT SAFE. NO!
My biggest fear ever since I was kid and even today when I walk back home at night from yoga or when I take a rickshaw from a friend’s home is being RAPED. I still feel that fear. I am still am on guard. I still fantasize of having that MACHINE GUN.
In the past 4 years I have been living and working half in India and half in New York and let me tell you I have walked the streets of Harlem, the Bronx and Brooklyn (perceived as the most dangerous in NYC) at3am after parties in short skirts and felt safer than I feel in Bandra at 10 pm on a quiet road fully covered. WHY??
Let’s talk about Delhi our Capital. I was there 2 days ago and the day of the rape. I wanted to go out and walk by India Gate and admire our great monuments but could I?! Why??
What good are all your speeches in the US or Japan or AUSTRALIA- NAMO, if no woman can walk freely in the streets even in broad daylight by herself in the CAPITAL OF OUR COUNTRY. Isn’t this a SHAME? SHAME ON YOU SIR.
This is our NO1 issue. FIX THIS before anything else.
This is a SHAME. And it’s YOUR SHAME. You are now RESPONSIBLE FOR US.
I beg all of you fine gentlemen that I have addressed to help change the LAW.
You are powerful men. I say, SHAME and PUNISH THE Gropers and Sexual offenders severely. KILL THE RAPISTS.
I won’t ask for public castration which is what I want and all the women want because I know this is unrealistic and things move SO DAMN SLOW in our FINE NATION.
All I ask for is the -Death Penalty Please. NOW! QUICK!
If that’s too hard or will take too long then at least LIFE IMPRISONMENT.
Put them away forever.
Why was this man who had raped twice before out on bail?
And then given a drivers license? YES, BAN UBER TOO. Make everyone responsible.
I’m ready to do anything. I’m not a big enough celeb but you Sachin Tendulkar, Amitabh Bachchan, Salman Khan, Sharukh Khan, Aamir Khan, Anil Ambani SIRS- need to speak up as MEN ( you are the men with the power)
SAVE US!
Please demand the Death Sentence for the Rapists.
NO BAIL. Just Death.
Superstars I beg you, please take a stand. Use your Superstardom and Power and MONEY and save the women of our country. SAVE US!
I urge you to protest or go on a fast or do something DRASTIC so people take notice, the government wakes up and CHANGES the LAW so these men are terrified to touch us.
Death to rapists. No bail. Just death.
Imagine Amitabh Bachchan Sir, Aamir Khan, Salmaan Khan, Sachin Tendulkar, Anil Ambani- if you went on a fast or walked to the Rashrtrapati In Delhi. If you, took this stand and made this YOUR NO 1 issue, how much change there would be?!
Why should we as women feel so unsafe in our motherland?!
Why should we as women be terrified and on guard all the time.
Why was this man out on bail after committed two rapes already ?
Make an Example Of Him.
Any man who even touches a woman should be imprisoned for life.
Be strict, make examples of these men, scare those who dare to touch us.
SCARE THEM BY MAKING AN EXAMPLE OUT OF THEM.
SAVE US, Save your mother, daughter, sister please!
This is NOT OUR SHAME.
THIS IS YOURS.
SHAME ON YOU.
Don’t sleep till you – SAVE YOUR WOMEN!
With all respect,
Shenaz Treasurywala
She is correct in addressing all the influential ppl in our country.But they don’t care two hoots and always stay aloof on such critical matters.I urge ’em to take a stand and protect our women. Thank you SHEHNAAZ….
A brave reaction of Shenaz. Hats off to you brave lady. World is with you. I feel like something good will definitely happen.
This woman and all women in the world who experience these terrors have my deepest sympathies, but I do not believe death and castrations are justifiably right actions. In fact, life imprisonment is most feasible after a second attempt at rape because people do deserve a second chance to make amends. However, the severity of the first instance must be weighed. That being said, I do see that there exists a very strong and justified fear and anger towards these instances of terror on women, but the hand of the law must respect human rights to factors like life. Obviously, an argument can be made in favor of the right to live in the sense of a woman actually being able to walk through the streets of her country and the rest of the world freely, but this right should not eclipse anyone’s right to life. I wholeheartedly agree that life imprisonment after a second attempt without an option for bail or probation is justified. I do think it is a very brilliant idea to ask the most powerful men in the country to take a stand, but with respect to their positions and influence they can only ask for so much. That is to say, they can ask for something life life imprisonment for such disgusting offenders, but for castration or death penalty is certainly a bit excessive.
I’m very sorry if what I said has offended anyone, but these are my thoughts on the matter much like anyone else here that has posted something.
Giving death penalty or life imprisonment is not going to solve the problem as I would see it in our country, since due to the available laws & lawyers out of practice, the culprit would some how manage to get a bail or even get free from jail. THE ONLY & ONLY PUNISHMENT to be given to a Rapist (once proven beyond doubt) is that his tool should be publicly chopped off & than apply spice & lime on it AND THEN leave him to survive rest of his life. I know for a sure it sounds barbarious BUT what they are doing is NOT BARBARIOUS??!!?? Surely, Shernaz would agree with my views. My utmost sympathies are with her for whatever she has gone thru & must be going thru. Hats off to her parents for being bold enough, but, surely can imagine what they poor guys must be going thru too. God bless our country, surely NAMO will bring the change, be patient.
I feel pity on the race of man who take pride in molesting/touching a GIRL/WOMAN while out on street whether going out to work or coming back from her daily routine,it is just like as if nobody is noticing me,but when the nears and dears of the man committing such act are given the TREATMENT ,it infuriates him beyond limit,why, should the man not think TWICE while committing such a heinous act and behold HIMSELF , the problem will definitely find solution as no LAW of land can curb such act except one’s inner conscience.
Hi Shehnaz I need your help, my real sister has been raped and then murdered by her boyfriend . My father has been missing from 2009 and in 2013 my mom have mysterious death. I am alone need justice but not getting. Police doesn’t do any investigation because the killer guy is very rich either by money or politics. Am scared an got threat calls even accident to. I don’t know how I become safe or how long. I have very less time.
Waiting for your response.
Thanks
YES. You are right, we men are Ashamed of such dirty mined men. BUT, what about you, doing anything by you is RIGHT?? I agree that even a fully clothed girl is also teased and and many times much worse. BUT, this doesn’t mean that the girls / women like ….. are not dirty minded and handed. Look at yourselves also before pointing at such Men. You project & respect ……. like Sunny Leone who chose to be what she is, as a Career not poverty.
Now women and many Men just like you will start Crying on what I said But will not think upon the matter I pointed out. REMEMBER women and many men like them that the sinner Men were always there and those insects must be punished for their Dirty acts against girls and women. But that way, it doesn’t mean you women / girls are FREE to expose and DO such dirty acts you are doing these days. Think about it if you have some brain.
Guys ;
In all religious books, a great respect is given to Women and children. Because women had limited access to society, do their job and dress their regular clothes. Then Gradually, girls started dressing like Men. Tried to copy men in their dress, thought etc. This comparison made them what they wear today.
Another old film dialogue is there, ” Daulat aur Aurat ko khula mat Choro”. This clearly says that if this is open in public, chances are that it will be mis used.
If you say that even a girl is naked, no one has right to rape. I agree to it. But will you agree if i open my shop and believe that no one rob it/ steal it. Your answer is No. Though law is there still i will not take risk. To avoid any invitation to problem, i will close shop and will move. Similarly women should take precaution . If Rape happened, Law will take its course
If you want to happen like USA, Singapore, Malasia, Bring the same standard of living and Law before demanding.
there are many girls like you like me…me too experience this kind of stuff in vegetable market when i am with my mom..even my mom too experience same stuff on bus..but there are very few to speak up by them self…there are worst experience of mine which i am afraid to share…many of us…still i am afraid..what my parents think..what my brothers think…
First of all, Hats off to Shenaz on writing an open letter so boldly!
2nd: to all those Filthy Indian Men (b**tards) out there who said that “if woman go out roaming in sleeveless, men will be tempted to grope you”, let me remind you of one thing. If you happen to go to the streets of Hawaii and see women walking on the streets in just two piece swim suits, I bet you will not touch them or even go near them coz you b**stards fear the LAW there. B**stards, I urge you to give our women the same freedom.
You don’t fear Indian law and neither do you respect our women. No wonder your own daughters and sisters in your family get raped. Good for you and SHAME ON YOU!
And as far as the powerful men and celebrities are concerned they won’t take a step unless one of their OWN gets raped or maybe you never know they might have raped themselves at some point in their life and it never came out in the open coz they r STARS! And now it will be awkward for them to come out in the open and stand for our women and protect them co its something that they don’t believe in. After all, it runs in the genes and these so called stars are also our very own INDIAN MEN (RAPISTS)
And SHAME on all those A**HOLES who posted dirty videos on the comments of this very same article against shenaz. That itself is a proof that rapists are every where and nothing will change them unless some h*rny gay shoves up a sharp iron rod right through their A**.
Touchy letter. Its a disgrace to call ourselves civilized when we don know how to behave.
Ms shenaz brought her rage out thru a letter and reciprocal to that there is a comment-attached with a pic of her showing the transparency in her dress. Where is this going to end? When will we come to know that every individual has the right to live her/his life? Why are we advancing thru ages? Is it to find a solution to better living or is it remind every one of their SHAME!!!!?????
Politicians, entrepreneurs, IT personnel, doctors, society builders, architects and the working beings of the world reading this comment or letter, please “LIVE AND LET LIVE”
This lady”s thought must be appraisable and top of the society have must be take responsibility and should be save our mothers,sisters,daughters and all those who are need full in real.
A salute to Shehnaz for she came out and took the initiative to write this letter. . A strict law against molesters and death sentence against rapists is a must and should be that severe so that people get scared to so such heinous crimes and a girl or a woman should not have to go through things like like noting down the cab number and calling 3 to 4 close friends which is impractical especially if you have to go out late night in case of any emergency. At the same time, these laws shouldn’t be misused as well because I also came across a few incident where an innocent man is threatened that a harassment case will be filed against him by a woman for no reason and he ends up paying what ever amount the women asks for. Hence, a law against a crime should be that strict to prevent it , also it shouldn’t be misused at the same time because misusing the law reduces it’s value thereby giving rise to the crime again.
100% agreed.. Rapist should be hang till death.. Or public kill them..
Rapist are cruel creatures..should not pity them.. They don’t give a damm to human called women, girl, mother, sister… Etc…..
“Rapist should be hang””
Film Actors are too busy doing endorsements, cuting ribbons, accepting Awards etc.,
to really care….an Amir Khan, maybe, but the rest hah!…their first reaction…”show me the money”
some of them will be ambassadors for good causes, dont be fooled, it’s only to keep themselves in the limelight and in the public eye!
What Shehnaz wrote is commendable, i respect her thoughts and understand her state of mind.. but we already know of many gangs of girls who make false accusations on men.. blackmail them.. rob them.. disgrace them.. there are cases where men have committed suicide just to prove they did not do it.. Do we need to take this step to prove to the world about our innocence and girls just need to cry to prove that a guy touched her intentionally.
Make strict laws.. I support it.. but enable the system such that until core evidences are found men should be given the benefit of doubt.
Think again!
And how to trust your letter may be you are using this to just get the desired publicity basically the cheap publicity the same as “ROHTAK SISTERS” who were given titles like bravehearts and all.
How do you think that people consider it to be true just because you are female. Is there anywhere written that female don’t lie or because she is “she” she cannot be liar.
I have heard and seen many cases where females are filling wrong molestation, rape,eve teasing cases to get famous in their nearby or preferably in nation luckly if it gets into eye of media.
India is a country where gals r worship n treated as goddess….completety a bull shit..gals are treated as a sex object…i really appreciate shehnaz for bringing dis…up…no one has r8 to touch a gal or molest or grope a gal….y its only females who r assaulted and raped…the criminals who raped n kill the gal thinking dat dey might gt caught…if they r so much scared n y d hell dey evn try to commit such crime…which isucompletely unacceptable..y gals have to be cautious b4 stepping out their house thinking about their dressing sense if I wear hot pant nd off sleeve tshirt dan does it mean I m inviting guys to grope me touch me n molest me is there any hard fasf rule that has been circulated dat women in our country cant wear whteve they want I f v talk abt traditional wear saree salwars even females who wears traditional outfit has also been raped its nt d outfit that attracts those killers those heartless murderers its their cheap mentality and upbringings lack of education ethics and moral values brutal punishment is d best way to punish the rapists molestor and also for d guyz who try to take advantage of the gals in the crowds public place buses trains rickshaw.., m ashamed of india also disheartend as all d rapist are being feeded by our govt not taking it into their considerstio
Indians should start reading “fuckin books” n open the fuck up. She ain’t open to rape because she chose to wear a dress, skimpy or not, shouldn’t that be her fuckin choice u dumbfucks! U ppl should encourage individuality and freedom, freedom in its true form. U try to copy west, copy its sense of freedom first!
Thanks a lot shenaz honestly I would like to tell you that don’t stop fighting if you feel uncomfortable around any male just scream raise your voice,slap him kick his don’t wait for anyone don’t get scared thinking this that what will people say because our so called society they don’t care about this because according to the census the ratio of female is 930 that of the ratio of per 1000 male . You know what they are scared that it doesn’t effect us even if we are less in number but yes it will be a big effect to these barbarians if we are more in numbers so don’t stop fighting your battle well I don’t about them but I am with you
Mam m shocked and I am in delema what to write next in this column.mam I am a brother of two sister and I work out of home.I am always scared of them when I am in work and when I am in my home.Dar sabko lagta hai.I have seen all this stringic nasty thing in bus train and even flight where passengers do think that lady crew is there slaves.and try to take pics when they are walking on Ile.mam it is our shame and yes I do accept this but am ready to take a stand no matter I may be arrested for this several times.I will punish them in real style which the government has to accept
what Shenaz Treasurywala try to saying is Protect woman Respect Woman in a woman category every woman came Either mom ,sister, wife or any relation is there she apples to a man because many times she write this This is a SHAME. And it’s YOUR SHAME. You are now RESPONSIBLE FOR US. so now this is time to wakeup. we should think about it why its happening in our country even some times Police cached but they get bail and when result coming maybe she already died or she already pass half of the age so this is not a right way. I really salute this girl who write it because it can happen to anyone maybe with your sister with your wife or with your mom so if its proofed any woman get raped and there is full of evidence then court should asked to victim what they want did she want to forgave him or punish. either it will never ever stopped like this today she is writing and another day maybe your sister at this place so let respect to our woman and give them full support what they want it. if we can protect to cow then why not woman who is really need help it might be your sister or might be your wife might be your mom so common today we decide what we have to choose
Our Government should change existing laws to protect women against these brutality regularly faced by them. Modi Jee, not everything prevalent in the places like Southi Arabia / Dubai in Islamic scenario is bad. Let’s take the good side of Islamic Law. In Islamic law, if a person is caught committing Theft, his hands are cut off for life. If a person is caught just looking at an unknown woman badly, both of his eyes are taken out leaving him blind for life. If a crime tantamounts to as big as rape, his penis is being cut off without anesthesia and given an unusual form of death penalty – he is being tied to a tree in a public place and public throws stones at him till his death! They don’t have electric chair, neither do they allow such criminals to die a cool death by Hanged Till Death. These are only few examples of Islamic Law, there are more!
It is bcoz of all such criticisers, the mentality of our society would never change its a big shame on all u povert thinking men.
N stop judging girls by their outfits. Only when thinking of such people would change our society would b a better n safer place to live.
A big shame on all u criticisers
Thanks shehnaz for the initiative.Bcz we all know the fact bt noone is interested to involve all this matters..from my side u r a celebrity also nd u hav a tight schedule..on this situation of india ur 1 step inspired us for go forward 100 steps..i m wd u..
Those words were touchy….. its so true we are so not safe in our own motherland which is a disgrace. Its just sad for all those girls who had bad experiences and could not speek up . Those who are so fearful to even think about a male in their life. When will all this change!!
Hats off. True. And it’s not just ladies now even boys are being groped. Though we raise our voice. Happened to me twice and both the Times I could catch the guy but I can understand what it feels . Well I have heard of some antirape underwear or condom things on the internet. Availability of those in India might reduce the thing. But I have literally no hope that the generation above us has got any chance to improvise. Hoping that the world is at least free from such things even if it’s not green and clean. And also the severe punishment against rape victims have caused an increase in blackmailing by women. Lost hope completely.
The men or boys who grope or do indecent activities come from those families where women are traumatized for being women – A girl child neglected over a boy child, A boy child preferred over a girl child, Fathers who are drunk and continuously beating their moms, A teenager boy who see such things at home, cries for mom, leaves home for work and supporting her mom and family. If he gets good company he becomes a good man BUT if he is picked up by bad adults, he starts doing the same – traumatizing women – as he had seen in his home.
POOR AND SAD BUT TRUE.
Now a girl, who is born and brought up in a Metro city, can never ever understand such kind of mentality, even in her scariest dream.
I would say a Father has a very very important role in the house. He is the one who could always love and support his daughter and he is the one who could guide a son in his teenage – how to handle body changes in a positive manner – use the tremendous energy in bread earning activities and body building activities rather than groping and grabbing business. Wait for the right time to come – marriage and family. Teach the value of a commitment and then respect it.
No wonder why teenagers of the broken families do such crimes very very brutally because they have tremendous energy – one bad uncontrollable trigger and mind goes out. – What happened in Nirbhaya’s case.
hello Shenaz Treasurywala please
wear dress which will cover your body
not only our mistake or anybody mistake matter
loss will happen to u only
so let face it togther
1-keep full covering clothes expect face and hand
2-take action by public if any incident happens like this
3-do not outside for simple matters after 8pm
4-keep safety measures by yourself