Dear Narendra Modi, Amitabh Bachchan, Sachin Tendulkar, Shahrukh Khan, Salman Khan, Aamir Khan and Anil Ambani,
I am writing to YOU specifically because you are the most powerful and influential MEN in our country.
I am writing to you as a woman who grew up in a middle class family in Mumbai.
I am writing to YOU for HELP!
My parents may not like me saying this. I apologize to them if they are reading but this is NOT MY SHAME. It’s THIER SHAME.
My first experience with the opposite sex, was when I was just 13 and groped by a man (never saw his face but will never forget his hand) while walking in the vegetable market with my mom. She had just given me the worst haircut and as an angry teenager I was upset at her and was lagging behind as she walked ahead. I still remember what I was wearing. It was her dress, mustard with flowers and little bow in the front. How I hate that dress! As if, it was the dress’s fault.
I was shocked at first. Speechless. He disappeared. I just stood there. Tears started pouring out of my innocent eyes. I told my mom who went mad screaming in the market but who knew where that man disappeared to. I still remember the dirty feeling I had and the number of times I showered in my grand-mom’s bathroom after. That feeling never went away.
Shenaz Treasurywala
Since then it was non-stop. I would try to articulate this to my parents and while my mom understood, my dad and uncles told me I was imagining it. Maybe they just couldn’t deal with it. CAN YOU?
When I was 15, I started going by train and bus to St. Xaviers’ College. I was groped and touched and from all angles and this was just how I grew up. Not Just Me but MOST INDIAN WOMEN who don’t have the luxury of cars and drivers.
As a teenager I would dream of and still sometimes dream that I had a machine gun and could kill all the men who tried to grope me. A very disturbing dream for a kid, don’t you think?
I got my first assignment as a model in the FYJC and I had to go to screen-tests straight from college. So I had to dress nice, didn’t make it any easier. I specifically remember the time I went for an audition in a red body suit and a black long skirt with slits. It was HELL! I never wore that again. As if it was the dress’s fault.
I developed ways to defend myself, I always carried a bag in front of me, my fist was always clenched, I always turned around every 20 seconds to check who was behind me and a few times I slapped men who touched me, I got slapped back many times too. Sometimes saved by the public, MOST TIMES NOT.
My mom begged me not to pick fights with men who touched me, she was afraid of acid being thrown at me or that somebody someday would hurt me badly. She is STILL AFRAID and today she told me not to take an UBER to my meeting tomorrow. Hell ya. BAN UBER! Make everyone take responsibility for this.
My sister got into Sophia’s college, we were all excited. She went by bus but the first day she came home, she sobbed traumatized. A man had put his hand in her tee-shirt through her sleeve, the entire bus ride. She just froze. She was a kid too and wasn’t equipped to even understand this. I was LIVID. I’m sorry sis for telling the world this, please don’t stop speaking to me. IT’S NOT Our Shame. It’s THEIRS!
One of my friends in college was RAPED on the train on her way home in the ladies compartment. She was sick and was going home in the 11:15 break. There was nobody in the first class compartment going back to Bandra at that time, it was a superfast meaning it didn’t stop at most stations. He raped her and then jumped off after using her scrunchy (hair tie) to wipe himself. She was the only one on the train and had to limp her way back to her home in Bandra, bleeding profusely. She was just 16. This she felt was her shame so she did not say anything to anyone.
BUT IT ISN’T HER SHAME, it’s THEIR SHAME.
My mom accompanied me to Hyderabad on a shoot once. In churi bazaar, a cyclist groped My MOM. My dear respected and lovely MOM.
Sorry Mom, IT’S NOT Our Shame, It’s THEIR SHAME.
Why am I telling you my personal story?
Well first I want all women to Speak Up.
Let’s make this our MOTTO-
It’s not OUR SHAME, it’s THEIR SHAME.
Who are “THEY”?
“THEY” ARE THE MEN IN OUR COUNTRY.
Not just the rapists and the sexual offenders and gropers but also our Fathers (sorry dad) and Uncles and Brothers and MOVIE STARS AND CRICKETERS AND POLITICIANS for not SAVING US or PROTECTING US by insisting and protesting for the LAWS TO CHANGE and Rapists and Gropers to BE PUNISHED SEVERELY!
Why do we as women have to feel so threatened? WHY has there been no severe action taken? This has gone on for years now. Not just in Delhi but all over our country and yes even in BOMBAY OR MUMBAI OR Whatever the hell you want to call it! It’s NOT SAFE. NO!
My biggest fear ever since I was kid and even today when I walk back home at night from yoga or when I take a rickshaw from a friend’s home is being RAPED. I still feel that fear. I am still am on guard. I still fantasize of having that MACHINE GUN.
In the past 4 years I have been living and working half in India and half in New York and let me tell you I have walked the streets of Harlem, the Bronx and Brooklyn (perceived as the most dangerous in NYC) at3am after parties in short skirts and felt safer than I feel in Bandra at 10 pm on a quiet road fully covered. WHY??
Let’s talk about Delhi our Capital. I was there 2 days ago and the day of the rape. I wanted to go out and walk by India Gate and admire our great monuments but could I?! Why??
What good are all your speeches in the US or Japan or AUSTRALIA- NAMO, if no woman can walk freely in the streets even in broad daylight by herself in the CAPITAL OF OUR COUNTRY. Isn’t this a SHAME? SHAME ON YOU SIR.
This is our NO1 issue. FIX THIS before anything else.
This is a SHAME. And it’s YOUR SHAME. You are now RESPONSIBLE FOR US.
I beg all of you fine gentlemen that I have addressed to help change the LAW.
You are powerful men. I say, SHAME and PUNISH THE Gropers and Sexual offenders severely. KILL THE RAPISTS.
I won’t ask for public castration which is what I want and all the women want because I know this is unrealistic and things move SO DAMN SLOW in our FINE NATION.
All I ask for is the -Death Penalty Please. NOW! QUICK!
If that’s too hard or will take too long then at least LIFE IMPRISONMENT.
Put them away forever.
Why was this man who had raped twice before out on bail?
And then given a drivers license? YES, BAN UBER TOO. Make everyone responsible.
I’m ready to do anything. I’m not a big enough celeb but you Sachin Tendulkar, Amitabh Bachchan, Salman Khan, Sharukh Khan, Aamir Khan, Anil Ambani SIRS- need to speak up as MEN ( you are the men with the power)
SAVE US!
Please demand the Death Sentence for the Rapists.
NO BAIL. Just Death.
Superstars I beg you, please take a stand. Use your Superstardom and Power and MONEY and save the women of our country. SAVE US!
I urge you to protest or go on a fast or do something DRASTIC so people take notice, the government wakes up and CHANGES the LAW so these men are terrified to touch us.
Death to rapists. No bail. Just death.
Imagine Amitabh Bachchan Sir, Aamir Khan, Salmaan Khan, Sachin Tendulkar, Anil Ambani- if you went on a fast or walked to the Rashrtrapati In Delhi. If you, took this stand and made this YOUR NO 1 issue, how much change there would be?!
Why should we as women feel so unsafe in our motherland?!
Why should we as women be terrified and on guard all the time.
Why was this man out on bail after committed two rapes already ?
Make an Example Of Him.
Any man who even touches a woman should be imprisoned for life.
Be strict, make examples of these men, scare those who dare to touch us.
SCARE THEM BY MAKING AN EXAMPLE OUT OF THEM.
SAVE US, Save your mother, daughter, sister please!
This is NOT OUR SHAME.
THIS IS YOURS.
SHAME ON YOU.
Don’t sleep till you – SAVE YOUR WOMEN!
With all respect,
Shenaz Treasurywala
Can development save our women Modiji ? How much more to read see this horror in news daily.
Burn these bastards!
I salute you dear…country is going no where…but we can hav a faith in modi saheb in future…
Regrds
Suvahhdan
Disgusting guys stop this nonsense. ..For some bloody rapists all the Man community is getting blamed. Learn to respect girls. Don’t try to take chance of their weakness. Your mother and sister are also women. ..wakeup guys…Raping a girl is not the proof of your manlyhood. ..shame on us….
Hai.fe
Girl you really have guts to say this all.
So much respect across a border.
we want women empowerment!
Equity! InshALLAH
Though I am strongly against sexual harresment of woman in any kind, I find this article over hyped. Specially with the timing of this letter coinciding with her movie release after almost a decade of disappearance. This seems like a publicity gimmick. But the subject raised is serious and every one of us should stand against any crime against women. It is our moral responsibity to extend respect to all woman.
I appreciating your courage….. That’s why I salute ……this is the biggest lesson for those who did this kind of shit….and give strength for those who is facing this shit….
Amazing letter at least I will protest against this hats off shenaz
Rapist should be punished severely as well as complainant also if she has filed a false complain. Medical checkups procedure should be more acute to confirm rape also instead of just confirming the sexual penetration for rape charges. Once the charges are found true, whoever the party is, punish severely…
The stories shared in by Shenaz are really not just one girl’s stories, every girl has undergone her moments of embarrassment in life. While reading this article a flashback was playing in my mind of all those shitty things that have happened to me. They actually start at such a tender age when a girl can’t even imagine ‘What the hell is going on’. I still remember I was just 10 yrs of age when one of my neighbors came to my house to ask for water. While I was filling up the glass for him, he came from back and started touching me. I froze at first and then ran outside where my elder sister was sitting already. I was really a kid to know about what to do, all I did was just not confront that ‘Uncle’ again.
There are hundreds of such incidents that I have passed through, I literally stopped going out alone anytime of the day. I don’t understand what psychological problem such men have! We can’t say its illiteracy as I have faced such things coming from well educated people too. Why don’t such men have any fear? I know such thing can’t be uprooted just like that but it’s time to take a big step in the direction to work on it.
It’s not that I have not heard of such incidents taking place in Developed nations, but the occurrence is so minimal that its considered 0 and such men there do get severe punishments & not to say such men in Developed Countries are considered Mentally Challenged. So the question is ‘Are men in India so much Mentally Challenged????’. And if the answer is a Yes, its an ‘Epidemic’ and needs to be uprooted and if uprooting it requires a HARSH Step, I request the personnel in authority ‘DO TAKE THAT STEP NOW’. It’s a real shame if a girl says she feel much safer in an outside country than in her own country. I always get tears in my eyes when I even think about this thing ‘I AM NOT SAFE IN MY OWN HOME/MY OWN COUNTRY’!!!
I don’t have a perfect solution to suggest, but I back Shenaz’s appeal to punish such people to the extent so that before getting into such deed, every such man gets a visual of what horrendous consequences he might have to face. It’s not just the rape that requires punishments, but those who even think that female is a thing of provocation & they must touch her to get any kind of pleasure need to be punished harsh as well.
Its really high time! We, girls, are fed up of being treated like this!
It’s not for the first time that such appeals or posts are floating on social media, but this trend should continue till the time some practical steps are taken!
Big loud applause for the brave girl. I hope this does bring change for the Indian women. An eye opener for the Indian police and the the coward people who watch all this happen to women and don’t stand up. They should be hanged or the women should be allowed to carry some thing that should harm those ba****ds to save them selves. Once this will happen the rest will think twice before even touching a woman.
Dear Shenaz
I really regard you for expressing your pain and fear rightly….A SALUTE and HUGS TO YOU !!!! – You moved me to tears with a resolve to even deal with very my own thoughts.
I often think…. what can really transform our INDIAN men in their minds instilling a deep healthy fear from daring such lasting destructive foolish acts in greed of LUST and selfishness….when even a brother, uncle or a protective Father takes advantage of his very own and hushes it up. What is it really???? Men are driven by sight and women by a loving touch but but…IS IT THE LACK OF KNOWLEDGE AND FEAR OF A RIGHTEOUS HOLY GOD – WHOSE WRATH AND CONSEQUENCE will follow and cripple generations for themselves for thinking they got away? a quote from the bible says ” The FEAR of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom”.
What this nation lacks is the true fear of a creator GOD! Though religious we are just a sham! There is no fear of GOD – of the creator GOD who formed every woman in HIS hands through whom healthy generations come to create a strong society, state and a nation.
When we fear the giver of all things we live wisely respecting people and resources, our possessions and our living places. we are sought to bring protection. everything around us yields what real humanity must yield. GOD intended it that way. But we sabotaged our selves with selfishness and disobedience to GOD operating our righteousness from a fallen mind.
GOD’s righteousness intended HONOR FOR WOMEN, gentleness and true respect and the outcome of that healthy love for one another. WHAT THIS NATION NEED IS THE FEAR A LOVING AND JUST GOD who will love and heal it with HIS forgiveness but also punish with HIS RIGHTEOUS JUSTICE.
I would pray for Narendra Modi, Amithab Bachan, The Ambani’s, Sachin Tendulkar, Shah Rukh Khan, Salman Khan, Aamir Khan, The politicians… there is a day approaching…we will all stand before GOD and HIS final judgments – HE WILL REWARD US according to our works openly what we did even in the dark. i FEAR THAT day. ” TEACH US OH LORD TO NUMBER OUR DAYS THAT WE MAY BE WISE IN ALL THAT WE SAY AND DO” – praying for your family’s protection Shenaz! – Joshua Prabhakar.
Problem solving experts in Japan evolved something called as 5-Why analysis. Ask yourself why 5 times and one can reach the root cause of ANY problem.
Delving further on this, the defunct criminal justice system lies at the root of this bane. Why is it defunct? Our lawmakers have done nothing to improve it. Why? It doesn’t suit them. With 182 MPs in current parliament having pending (heinous) criminal cases against them (from all parties), what would be their collective interest to improve the system? Zilch.
While you pointed at NaMo’s international speeches (in futility though) I suggest we call spade a spade and ask him what is a rape-accused minister doing in his cabinet?
The larger discussion is – what signal is the political class giving out? Do-it-and-get-away ???
Friends,
Good Morning. I have gone through almost every bodies comments here. It’s not important to comment in her letter and how well did she write or not.
Important is that whether such incidence that are brought in Public noticed by “Government” & Our respected Celebs.
Do they really take this incidence in a cruticial manner?
Do they really take any action against such culprits?
Do they have any reaction on this or any single line or word comment on this?
“No”…
Our laws and government are for we Middle Level people….. We people if we do one small mistake cops and laws would stand up for action…
High society people and professional goons are covered…. Now a days law makes helpless and needy middle class person a ” Criminal”
Such people will move around openly and create nuisance to others also but our respectull law will keep silent and speechless…
Taking up a cause won’t change men in India.. … I talk to so many people and One thing is for sure. … They don’t respect women or the freedom given to them….. A change in law will not reduce these crimes.. … Cos our country’s conviction rate….. Statistics show only 25% of accused get convicted.. … Only 1 in 4…. And these r the cases that reach the courts. … Imagine untold n uncomplained scenarios… And even if law is stringent it won’t change the mindset cos they r 75% sure of getting off…. That’s a very large percentage that makes them not to be afraid of law…. Corruption, incapacity of courts to administer justice, weak legal framework, and most of all mindset of most irrational n unworthy men. .. . And these cannot be changed in country like ours by these powerful men… Even if thr was a God n if he could do something is would take him years to come up with positive results…. (I mean look at our population) so best chance for our sisters is precaution n prevention and if thr is a possibility protection (self defence).. . These powerful men can address these issues but can’t change anything much.. …
Shenaz, I have alwsys been enchanted by your perky smiling persona. To see you in angry- unhappy mode is new– but understandable. Well,I need to inform that at least one of the men addressed above has spoken very recently, on the topic of rape and punishment. At a press conference( available as online video) in Hyderabad, a couple of days back, Aamir replied at length, spoke passionately about the necessity for quick punitive justice, say within a maximum of two months from the crime. He talked about the research findings through his tv show’s work on the subject– how in tbe US, deterrent punishment to the extent of lifetime imprisonment is awarded to rapists. Please try and watch that clip.And I need to add– swift and deterrent punishment is the wsy to go.
Just by reading some comments here one can guess how twisted and archaic thoughts Indian men hold. Rather than addressing this menace of Indian society which torments every women, they blame it on women who are victims of this crime. Only way Indian society can fix this is by education which must start at home. Teach your sons and brothers that it is never okay to molest and harass a female. No women asks for this regardless of what she wears. I hate when people refer to a female as someone’s daughter, sister, mom, what if she is none of these. She is human being and she needs to be treated with respect regardless of her status.
share my sympathy wit u too….
well they r actually some steps government has taken esp under 377 penal law. but u keep on blaming and saying shame on d PM and other dignitaries!… I thought u wld hv a payed little tribute in that Delhi rape case in d bus 2011 to d victims family..well new laws has been provided already like increased jail terms…from 18 now to even 16 years offender…also d new law states bout severe punishment for women molesters but d new law doesn’t compliment d male and transgender cases! problem ain’t d president pm dignitaries…. rather there’s dat law that punishes officers under treacherous blankets who don’t even FILE REPORTS!!
I think u know that PROTEST has been going since dat rape case in Delhi so its not that women havnt stood up!
also I don’t think its case of movie stars and others to speak up! they did in 2011…rather its d common people u shd anticipate revolting!! I don’t think rape is numba 1 problem in India..
putting food on table is! also u know that government has given order for protection and free treatment to victims. also I think u have been so lucky coming out from parties as u said wit short dresses esp in notorious regions of Harlem and Bronx in new York! I think u shd still take precautions before care…mind wat u wear. its harsh blaming d pm…movie stars cricketers etc. when d whole world can hold candles/protest for d raped victim in 2011… and still d trend/act continues I don’t see these famous people stopping it! so its d JANTA that will b continuing…even d so call movie stars could b worst eg shaheen(kidnap) raping his house maid! Italian ex president! bill Clinton! IMF ex boss…Michael jackson (don’t want to believe though) r all prominent dignitaries WORLDWIDE but involved in these mess ups! so u just stay more protective…avoid late night movements…know d many newly introduced laws on sexual assaults in India today and much more..finally its not d pm or movie stars that will mediate..no…its we d common people that will stand up and fight for our rights!
bold statement…wish u quick trauma recovery and make sure we report to higher offices of people played to protect us and launch FIR but instead demand for money or close d case!!!..
Salute Lady. Really appreciate your guts and hope this will be an eye opener. India is developed in all ways and not been there but as per what has been heard, read and seen in media in city like Mumbai and Delhi people are so modern be it relationships, clothes, education or anything else then why cant they be modern and civilized for women and their right as well as dignity. Its so true its not your SHAME its THEIRS. People think hard n make your mother, sister, wife, girlfriend, daughter n all the ladies safe in their own country.
Your absolutely right! I salute the foreign government for the strict laws they keep for rapist.. India sucks in it! The rapists and gropers are set free no matter whatever they do!!
India sucks in it
I can imagine what each one of them mentioned here must have gone through. I know that feeling of being touched without your permission. The same had happened to me once, when I was, I do not even rember my age.. I was at the city Museum. Oh! I never wanna recall that moment. Ever.
Anyway, this country desparately needs a change in terms of protecting the women. I couldn’t agree more in terms of the punishment these type of men deserve. The only addition I would like to make here is – not just men, but even the BOYS who are cruel enough to harm women and finally proyected by the law under the cover of their “age” need to be punished. If he is old enoigh to commit a crime then he is old enough to be punished.
Hoping/Praying/Believing we will see a positive change soon.
Oh Dear! I am touched! Shall we propose your name for next Noble peace prize? Now some serious business. I believe some of what’s written is figment of your imagination. I can tell this from my experience having visited over 40 countries. So you’re saying Brooklyn and Harlem is safe. Yeah! You bet! While I was doing my graduation at Columbia, men used to barge in drom and rape women, girl friends used to fu*k their boy friends right in front of their roommates. No place was safe inspite of campus providing private security. Well ! My friend – Do you know how many rapes happen in US in just one night? Take and compare the percentage, you’ll find India the most safe place. Perverts are all over the world, but why just single out India? MSM is constantly flashing rape news every day and showing India in bad light. In reality, the seculars and NWO – so called who stand for women rights have demeaned our culture at the behest of supari western media. Care for some truth and don’t generalize India as a rape country of the world.
When you get a time, read the below blog written by a German who has lived in India for 10+ years.
STOP RAPING BHARATMATA under rape pretext.
http://mariawirthblog.wordpress.com/2014/01/27/why-this-focus-on-rapes-in-india-by-world-media/
Nice but you are telling about a only man who raped twice and came out on bail but its our indian constitution which always tells ‘LEAVE ANY VICTIM BUT NEVER PUNISH A INNOCENT’ So by this rule only court always hear all matter so in that it may take long time. So be patience all will ok… But these persons have high influence but they also come under our constitution so they can just protest nothing else. Only who has to change in our county is our indian WELL CULTURED people. If they raise there voice against any illegal activity then only these type of matters will stop otherwise NO. If people only don’t want to change then how those high influence people may help? Just think about this
M’am,
My sympathies are with you. Its wonderful of you to have come in open and spoken upon such sensitive thing. My sincere apologies on behalf of men.
On the flip side, do you think all men are like this ? over and over in your letter, you’ve mentioned EVERY MEN (not having spared your dad and uncle). Please understand, not all men are so. Take the case of the Uber cab incident itself, The head of UBER was quizzed by delhi police is what the headlines read. What would that poor soul know ?
It an individual self, who is responsible for this. I very much stand by you on having the culprit punished (no bail, just death penalty or life time imprisonment etc.)
On the other hand, you’re also blaming our PM, SRK, AB, AK etc for this. Your frustration is valid, but let it only reach out to the people who are guilty of it.
M’am, if at all we’ve to set things right, we need to have a hard and strict government. I am sure, we will have one, but it was take time. We’d been ruled (i mean it), by someone, who never felt we were their own for the past so many years. Lets give time for the acting government. By saying this, i do not mean to say that they should encourage whatever is going on to go on.
I am hopeful of a brighter sunshine tomorrow. My daughter is going to see the better side of it for sure.. !!!
Thanks and regards,
A Husband & a dad.
I have faced similar situations when I was almost that age. Very rarely we find women opening up. It gives nightmares and dirty memories. While we also suffered exhibitionsim by few perverts on the way back from school. If punishments are severe to the culprits we can expect some change.when the world is still the same from 30 years,how can we hope for a change without any strong steps?
If even half of what she has written is true…. Its scary … I never knew this is the extent of the problem….
If the women of the country have to face such things, its really a shame on us … I wish I had the guts to stand up and fight ….. If I had some of the guys supporting me … I would .. I surely would …
May look harsh but this had to come up and i hope it comes up very well that it forces the officials to take certain actions and stop this threat to women !!
Hi,
Actually they have to be shot and given the lessons, One or two examples are enough to lower down the raps in our country. Jail and imprisonment is not affecting them at all. I salute and agree to the demand for all RAPIST to b given. They all consider law as a normal thing and would be free on bail or with some small punishment.
It’s really shame on us… People are still blaming on girls’ dress for being abused, or groped or raped… Just ask this before u question like this to girls., if by electric accident or by any incident., girls of our house are fallen unconscious and naked does it mean that she has to raped?
Please guys… Being gentleman is left to us.. Stop talking non sense.. Around the globe there are many nude beaches, as per the great theory of dress sense of some our Indians, these issues would have only happened there..
@vajir & some handsomehot asshole, you mean to say all women should wear burkha/convert into islam!! is what you mean to say..leave your shitty thought of endorsing religion all the time in relevant or irrelevant issues. try to become human before & behave like humans first, not like animals. then everything will be alrite.. jackasses..
Its your thinking which is wrong not in her dress.
Respect women! let her live freedom & dignity..