Dear Narendra Modi, Amitabh Bachchan, Sachin Tendulkar, Shahrukh Khan, Salman Khan, Aamir Khan and Anil Ambani,
I am writing to YOU specifically because you are the most powerful and influential MEN in our country.
I am writing to you as a woman who grew up in a middle class family in Mumbai.
I am writing to YOU for HELP!
My parents may not like me saying this. I apologize to them if they are reading but this is NOT MY SHAME. It’s THIER SHAME.
My first experience with the opposite sex, was when I was just 13 and groped by a man (never saw his face but will never forget his hand) while walking in the vegetable market with my mom. She had just given me the worst haircut and as an angry teenager I was upset at her and was lagging behind as she walked ahead. I still remember what I was wearing. It was her dress, mustard with flowers and little bow in the front. How I hate that dress! As if, it was the dress’s fault.
I was shocked at first. Speechless. He disappeared. I just stood there. Tears started pouring out of my innocent eyes. I told my mom who went mad screaming in the market but who knew where that man disappeared to. I still remember the dirty feeling I had and the number of times I showered in my grand-mom’s bathroom after. That feeling never went away.
Shenaz Treasurywala
Since then it was non-stop. I would try to articulate this to my parents and while my mom understood, my dad and uncles told me I was imagining it. Maybe they just couldn’t deal with it. CAN YOU?
When I was 15, I started going by train and bus to St. Xaviers’ College. I was groped and touched and from all angles and this was just how I grew up. Not Just Me but MOST INDIAN WOMEN who don’t have the luxury of cars and drivers.
As a teenager I would dream of and still sometimes dream that I had a machine gun and could kill all the men who tried to grope me. A very disturbing dream for a kid, don’t you think?
I got my first assignment as a model in the FYJC and I had to go to screen-tests straight from college. So I had to dress nice, didn’t make it any easier. I specifically remember the time I went for an audition in a red body suit and a black long skirt with slits. It was HELL! I never wore that again. As if it was the dress’s fault.
I developed ways to defend myself, I always carried a bag in front of me, my fist was always clenched, I always turned around every 20 seconds to check who was behind me and a few times I slapped men who touched me, I got slapped back many times too. Sometimes saved by the public, MOST TIMES NOT.
My mom begged me not to pick fights with men who touched me, she was afraid of acid being thrown at me or that somebody someday would hurt me badly. She is STILL AFRAID and today she told me not to take an UBER to my meeting tomorrow. Hell ya. BAN UBER! Make everyone take responsibility for this.
My sister got into Sophia’s college, we were all excited. She went by bus but the first day she came home, she sobbed traumatized. A man had put his hand in her tee-shirt through her sleeve, the entire bus ride. She just froze. She was a kid too and wasn’t equipped to even understand this. I was LIVID. I’m sorry sis for telling the world this, please don’t stop speaking to me. IT’S NOT Our Shame. It’s THEIRS!
One of my friends in college was RAPED on the train on her way home in the ladies compartment. She was sick and was going home in the 11:15 break. There was nobody in the first class compartment going back to Bandra at that time, it was a superfast meaning it didn’t stop at most stations. He raped her and then jumped off after using her scrunchy (hair tie) to wipe himself. She was the only one on the train and had to limp her way back to her home in Bandra, bleeding profusely. She was just 16. This she felt was her shame so she did not say anything to anyone.
BUT IT ISN’T HER SHAME, it’s THEIR SHAME.
My mom accompanied me to Hyderabad on a shoot once. In churi bazaar, a cyclist groped My MOM. My dear respected and lovely MOM.
Sorry Mom, IT’S NOT Our Shame, It’s THEIR SHAME.
Why am I telling you my personal story?
Well first I want all women to Speak Up.
Let’s make this our MOTTO-
It’s not OUR SHAME, it’s THEIR SHAME.
Who are “THEY”?
“THEY” ARE THE MEN IN OUR COUNTRY.
Not just the rapists and the sexual offenders and gropers but also our Fathers (sorry dad) and Uncles and Brothers and MOVIE STARS AND CRICKETERS AND POLITICIANS for not SAVING US or PROTECTING US by insisting and protesting for the LAWS TO CHANGE and Rapists and Gropers to BE PUNISHED SEVERELY!
Why do we as women have to feel so threatened? WHY has there been no severe action taken? This has gone on for years now. Not just in Delhi but all over our country and yes even in BOMBAY OR MUMBAI OR Whatever the hell you want to call it! It’s NOT SAFE. NO!
My biggest fear ever since I was kid and even today when I walk back home at night from yoga or when I take a rickshaw from a friend’s home is being RAPED. I still feel that fear. I am still am on guard. I still fantasize of having that MACHINE GUN.
In the past 4 years I have been living and working half in India and half in New York and let me tell you I have walked the streets of Harlem, the Bronx and Brooklyn (perceived as the most dangerous in NYC) at3am after parties in short skirts and felt safer than I feel in Bandra at 10 pm on a quiet road fully covered. WHY??
Let’s talk about Delhi our Capital. I was there 2 days ago and the day of the rape. I wanted to go out and walk by India Gate and admire our great monuments but could I?! Why??
What good are all your speeches in the US or Japan or AUSTRALIA- NAMO, if no woman can walk freely in the streets even in broad daylight by herself in the CAPITAL OF OUR COUNTRY. Isn’t this a SHAME? SHAME ON YOU SIR.
This is our NO1 issue. FIX THIS before anything else.
This is a SHAME. And it’s YOUR SHAME. You are now RESPONSIBLE FOR US.
I beg all of you fine gentlemen that I have addressed to help change the LAW.
You are powerful men. I say, SHAME and PUNISH THE Gropers and Sexual offenders severely. KILL THE RAPISTS.
I won’t ask for public castration which is what I want and all the women want because I know this is unrealistic and things move SO DAMN SLOW in our FINE NATION.
All I ask for is the -Death Penalty Please. NOW! QUICK!
If that’s too hard or will take too long then at least LIFE IMPRISONMENT.
Put them away forever.
Why was this man who had raped twice before out on bail?
And then given a drivers license? YES, BAN UBER TOO. Make everyone responsible.
I’m ready to do anything. I’m not a big enough celeb but you Sachin Tendulkar, Amitabh Bachchan, Salman Khan, Sharukh Khan, Aamir Khan, Anil Ambani SIRS- need to speak up as MEN ( you are the men with the power)
SAVE US!
Please demand the Death Sentence for the Rapists.
NO BAIL. Just Death.
Superstars I beg you, please take a stand. Use your Superstardom and Power and MONEY and save the women of our country. SAVE US!
I urge you to protest or go on a fast or do something DRASTIC so people take notice, the government wakes up and CHANGES the LAW so these men are terrified to touch us.
Death to rapists. No bail. Just death.
Imagine Amitabh Bachchan Sir, Aamir Khan, Salmaan Khan, Sachin Tendulkar, Anil Ambani- if you went on a fast or walked to the Rashrtrapati In Delhi. If you, took this stand and made this YOUR NO 1 issue, how much change there would be?!
Why should we as women feel so unsafe in our motherland?!
Why should we as women be terrified and on guard all the time.
Why was this man out on bail after committed two rapes already ?
Make an Example Of Him.
Any man who even touches a woman should be imprisoned for life.
Be strict, make examples of these men, scare those who dare to touch us.
SCARE THEM BY MAKING AN EXAMPLE OUT OF THEM.
SAVE US, Save your mother, daughter, sister please!
This is NOT OUR SHAME.
THIS IS YOURS.
SHAME ON YOU.
Don’t sleep till you – SAVE YOUR WOMEN!
With all respect,
Shenaz Treasurywala
Mortdecai… you MOTH********* would you get these ‘Kuch Kuch’ feelings to rape if your sister or mother also happen to wear casual or a little revealing clothes at home??
You watch the song, you can’t control your hormones.. its your problem you loser! You change your dirty mind first.
Breasts are a part of a women’s body. Its completely fine to get attracted, but that doesn’t mean you feel the need to rape you bloody loser. Sex has to be consensual ONLY. You can’t touch a women without her permission, get that in your head first.
But 1st of all she should change her dressing sense . 1st be proper and tell others to be proper. see the above picture of her .This shows how is up dressing sense. .
what the hell – she just said shame on the prime minister – will he (if he even sees this letter) do something after her saying that?
And why is she accusing n saying shame on all men? not all men are rapists/sex offenders – why should men who haven’t done anything wrong be ashamed?
I agree there should be harsher punishment against rapists/sexual offenders.
Though this open letter comes two days before her film releases – coincidence?
@md. vajir so wat do u say abt those small girls who are 3/4/5yrs old..properly dressed who does not invite d man n still are raped.
n if women invite d men..n men rape her..will d same men drink poison if d same lady offers her poison? ?
leave ur mentality at home sir..Dnt defend a person who can’t control his sexual urge n treats women like an object.
btw capital punishment is not d solution..if c.p is in law..the rapist would try to destroy d evidence. .so he will try to kill d victim only.
a multidimensional strategy is needed..law+moral education+teaching kids to respecf women+ stop making an object of women…..n there are many such solutions to be applied together.
@Bulli your comments is perfect for our beloved bhaijjjann. because he can’t make films like fan cdi Swadesh mnik etc. he is same person like you. because you both don’t have bulli. between she haven’t mentioned the name of Akshay kuman and the great manipulator Hrithik Roshan. is these two are not power full persons of India? what say nipun??
Government and celebrities taking a stance might make a little difference but men who do such stuff are sick minded n will continue to do so. There was a lot of rallies/protests and attention from around the world after that 2012 delhi gang rape but did anything change?
Better education and stricter laws are required.
OHHH! Just found out that Shenaz’s Main Aur Mr. Right releases in theatres this week. WOW! Is everything done for publicity? She never spoke after Nirbhaya incident.
Brave and well-written letter!
I see many losers who are commenting on dresses of woman
seductive dresses are invitation of RAPE really………?
For this kind of mentality India is way behind from UK , US
if a girl get raped it always her fault no matter what a boy do to her….. Wow!! Brilliant
i think these kind of people should be the 8th wonder of world…….
I truly support her statement…. Atleast i’m gonna protest where i see any thing like this
Some commenters don’t apologize when they make mistakes but you @Gaurravv/G007 Have the guts and courage to apologize… keep it up…I’m start liking you.
“An apology is the super glue of life. It can repair just about anything.” ? Lynn Johnston said that.
Just live in UAE where 92% of the people feel safe according to the survey!!
@Ajay Rocks
Thanx. :) Makes me feel good.
it will have been great if she did this for good course, but she did it for publicity of her film. she seems to have kept the letter for her selfish reasons don’t preach morality when you have none.
may ALLAH help her good intention @pk are you one of them (rapist) if you are not pls stop defending them I beg you pls @salman nipun is busy doesnt have time for you
come on i request all the men she has addressed to come out n support her together.. start a movement.. create history n abolish crime against women.. this letter can start a revolution.. i wish so badly that it happens.. strict laws, harsh punishment n zero tolerance against crime against women is the need of the hour.. lets f**k the bastards.. let the message be clear, if you commit crime against women there is no way out n death penalty shall be given to you..
Guys become castrated like me so that you will not have sexual attractions towards lady ot guy.
this is publicity stunt.@Bullifan rofl.. at your comment u rock
Salute
well by God’s grace I live in one of the best areas of Delhi…..still as a girl I have experienced horrifying, unwanted experiences……and no I wasn’t wearing a braless dress as one reader has commented….
high high high high high time that guys stop blaming a girl’s outfit, attitude etc for this……rape, molestation, harassment are criminal offences…..period!!!
Rape = Death punishment (Period)
Now, to make sure that it was a rape and not a case of consent and then denial (and all other such scenarios, cases, permutations and combinations) is the duty of the judge and court to identify. And they will do their job.
Innocent should not be held guilty, which they will take care of (for sure).
Have faith on judiciary.
Even if you are a man, and someone touch you without your consent, you will not like it and oppose it. Same is the right of a woman.
You must know how to control your own hands, mind and thoughts, no one else will do it for you.
Being a man I understand that bold dresses (and exposed woman’s body) arouses you, but dude god has also given you an easier option to quench your thirst (or lust) by yourself. For that you do not have to touch anyone else except yourself.
While this is a very serious issue, but this woman is trying to get her pie of stardom through a very tragic incident.
Why was she silent till now? Suddenly everyone wants publicity and wants to blame NAMO for all the ills plaguing the society!
She never came forward even when Nirbhaya incident happened…now she has cooked up a story to whip Namo with.
Stupid woman she is!
A revolution has to take place. N dress really doesnt matter. Mardangi dikhani hai toh protect n respect women. Dont rape them. N how do u justify tht 3 yr old baby was wearin clothes which were intiviting d rapist.
Solve the problem of a very “simple” – remove the caste, dowry and give the woman the right to inherit (as in the Bible was written) !!!
And most importantly, stop showing in a movie, 10 minutes rape scene, and that the perpetrator goes unpunished. Bad example is contagious.
And remove the Internet !!!
As a result:
1) a man can marry any woman, and not wait until mom finds (if you still find, it’s harder every year).
2) cease to kill girls at birth or abortion. After all, his father, a daughter to marry – it means to be ruined.
3) India will cease to occupy the first place in the production and viewing pornography !!! (Yes India, you’re the first!)
Women will be a lot of that is every man finally get a wife.
It would not be so many horny men.
The death penalty is not solved. Then the whole society must be destroyed, because it is rotten!
Not only need to execute criminals, but also their parents, because they do not find their little son pair.
All the roots of Bollywood, which inflames men after each film. Actresses in the first place, because the talent is not currently leading the way. Here we have the stars, dancing striptease from which do not differ (Deepika in HNY). And what men should go out after watching this clip ???
People like Mohd Vajir are coming out with excuses and reasons of rape being happening. What kind of mentality you have and all the men who would mentally support such statements. While I was going through all the comments, such reasons and excuses are read which is clearly revealing what and how these GUYS think.
If a girl is drunk and sloshed and sitting in a cab means that she wants to reach home safe and that’s the very reason why she chose to reach home through Uber. STILL IN ANY CONDITION! it gives no excuses to any MAN an excuse to rape!
I agree everyone needs to be alert while traveling due to many reasons, say pickpockets, beggars, liars. But no Girl, EVEN a prostitute, mind it even a prostitute, in her worst dreams would expect UNWANTED TOUCH to her body (and that includes MEN as well).
Its like someone is wearing gold all over and roaming around on the streets at 10pm gets robbed, its still the fault of the thrives, not the innocent person will be blamed in the police station of wearing gold.
Similarly, if a girls is groped or raped or even eveteased, that DOES NOT make her responsible.
Waking naked and wearing a hijab are extremities. In India, its moderate for us women. Its liberal. There are Muslim families who are cool if their women wear a party dresses and there are Hindu families who would always want their women to wear salwar kameez with ghunghat when they go out. So if its not defined, it is NOT AN EXCUSE or a reason for rape.
People like Mohd Vajir are coming out with excuses and reasons of rape being happening. What kind of mentality you have and all the men who would mentally support such statements. While I was going through all the comments, such reasons and excuses are read which is clearly revealing what and how these GUYS think.
If a girl is drunk and sloshed and sitting in a cab means that she wants to reach home safe and that’s the very reason why she chose to reach home through Uber. STILL IN ANY CONDITION! it gives no excuses to any MAN an excuse to rape!
I agree everyone needs to be alert while traveling due to many reasons, say pickpockets, beggars, liars. But no Girl, EVEN a prostitute, mind it even a prostitute, in her worst dreams would expect UNWANTED TOUCH to her body (and that includes MEN as well).
Its like someone is wearing gold all over and roaming around on the streets at 10pm gets robbed, its still the fault of the thrives, not the innocent person will be blamed in the police station of wearing gold.
Similarly, if a girls is groped or raped or even eveteased, that DOES NOT make her responsible.
Wearing naked and wearing a hijab are extremities. In India, its moderate for us women. Its liberal. There are Muslim families who are cool if their women wear a party dresses and there are Hindu families who would always want their women to wear salwar kameez with ghunghat when they go out. So if its not defined, it is NOT AN EXCUSE or a reason for rape.
I am sure most of the leaders will agree with Capital punishment for rapes.
But at the same time no one is confident of our investigation agencies. In a nation where money is governing us more than moral values, this can be misused and innocents might be trapped.
Its complicated as in 21st century, we have the highest female infanticide rate un the world. We need a comprehensive solution which might take decades. But let’s hope the best from our PM. All the best.
Our bhaijaan fans are rapist as they don’t have any gf but we srkians always protecet women.
Mohd. Vajir,
SHAME on you. Even after reading such a sensitive article which put me on tears, you had audacity to post such a comment.
Let me tell you one thing, even if a woman walks naked in the street, it does not give anyone right to trespass her body, and rape her. Rape is absolutely unjustified in any circumstances. If you feel so provoked that you get the feeling to rape some one by seeing provocative dresses, then you need a psychatrist, I am sorry to say that you are mentally sick. Please get yourself treated.
Shehnaz, I am sorry to be an Indian MAN after I read your article, and believe me I have a daughter and I felt so threatened and worried about her. I join you in appealing to Mr. Modi that this should be a topmost agenda in his Govt.
Regards,
Prameet
@Mohit Vajir @Gauravv NO DRESS OR ACRION OF A WOMEN ALLOWS YOU TO RAPE. ARE WE MOVONG TO DECIVILIZATION OR WHAT? NEW BORN GIRL IS NAKED. SMALL GIRLS WEAR TINY SKIRTS. DO YOU RAPE THEM? KEEP YOUR WIFE/ GF/SISTER/MOTHER IN A POSITION WHERE THE DRESS IS REVEALING. DOES THAT ALLOW THE WORLD TO RAPE.
Lets not behave like animals & be more civilised. We teach our children to be vegetarian. So we we also can teach that rape is inhumane. Women are meant to be respected & loved