Dear Narendra Modi, Amitabh Bachchan, Sachin Tendulkar, Shahrukh Khan, Salman Khan, Aamir Khan and Anil Ambani,
I am writing to YOU specifically because you are the most powerful and influential MEN in our country.
I am writing to you as a woman who grew up in a middle class family in Mumbai.
I am writing to YOU for HELP!
My parents may not like me saying this. I apologize to them if they are reading but this is NOT MY SHAME. It’s THIER SHAME.
My first experience with the opposite sex, was when I was just 13 and groped by a man (never saw his face but will never forget his hand) while walking in the vegetable market with my mom. She had just given me the worst haircut and as an angry teenager I was upset at her and was lagging behind as she walked ahead. I still remember what I was wearing. It was her dress, mustard with flowers and little bow in the front. How I hate that dress! As if, it was the dress’s fault.
I was shocked at first. Speechless. He disappeared. I just stood there. Tears started pouring out of my innocent eyes. I told my mom who went mad screaming in the market but who knew where that man disappeared to. I still remember the dirty feeling I had and the number of times I showered in my grand-mom’s bathroom after. That feeling never went away.
Shenaz Treasurywala
Since then it was non-stop. I would try to articulate this to my parents and while my mom understood, my dad and uncles told me I was imagining it. Maybe they just couldn’t deal with it. CAN YOU?
When I was 15, I started going by train and bus to St. Xaviers’ College. I was groped and touched and from all angles and this was just how I grew up. Not Just Me but MOST INDIAN WOMEN who don’t have the luxury of cars and drivers.
As a teenager I would dream of and still sometimes dream that I had a machine gun and could kill all the men who tried to grope me. A very disturbing dream for a kid, don’t you think?
I got my first assignment as a model in the FYJC and I had to go to screen-tests straight from college. So I had to dress nice, didn’t make it any easier. I specifically remember the time I went for an audition in a red body suit and a black long skirt with slits. It was HELL! I never wore that again. As if it was the dress’s fault.
I developed ways to defend myself, I always carried a bag in front of me, my fist was always clenched, I always turned around every 20 seconds to check who was behind me and a few times I slapped men who touched me, I got slapped back many times too. Sometimes saved by the public, MOST TIMES NOT.
My mom begged me not to pick fights with men who touched me, she was afraid of acid being thrown at me or that somebody someday would hurt me badly. She is STILL AFRAID and today she told me not to take an UBER to my meeting tomorrow. Hell ya. BAN UBER! Make everyone take responsibility for this.
My sister got into Sophia’s college, we were all excited. She went by bus but the first day she came home, she sobbed traumatized. A man had put his hand in her tee-shirt through her sleeve, the entire bus ride. She just froze. She was a kid too and wasn’t equipped to even understand this. I was LIVID. I’m sorry sis for telling the world this, please don’t stop speaking to me. IT’S NOT Our Shame. It’s THEIRS!
One of my friends in college was RAPED on the train on her way home in the ladies compartment. She was sick and was going home in the 11:15 break. There was nobody in the first class compartment going back to Bandra at that time, it was a superfast meaning it didn’t stop at most stations. He raped her and then jumped off after using her scrunchy (hair tie) to wipe himself. She was the only one on the train and had to limp her way back to her home in Bandra, bleeding profusely. She was just 16. This she felt was her shame so she did not say anything to anyone.
BUT IT ISN’T HER SHAME, it’s THEIR SHAME.
My mom accompanied me to Hyderabad on a shoot once. In churi bazaar, a cyclist groped My MOM. My dear respected and lovely MOM.
Sorry Mom, IT’S NOT Our Shame, It’s THEIR SHAME.
Why am I telling you my personal story?
Well first I want all women to Speak Up.
Let’s make this our MOTTO-
It’s not OUR SHAME, it’s THEIR SHAME.
Who are “THEY”?
“THEY” ARE THE MEN IN OUR COUNTRY.
Not just the rapists and the sexual offenders and gropers but also our Fathers (sorry dad) and Uncles and Brothers and MOVIE STARS AND CRICKETERS AND POLITICIANS for not SAVING US or PROTECTING US by insisting and protesting for the LAWS TO CHANGE and Rapists and Gropers to BE PUNISHED SEVERELY!
Why do we as women have to feel so threatened? WHY has there been no severe action taken? This has gone on for years now. Not just in Delhi but all over our country and yes even in BOMBAY OR MUMBAI OR Whatever the hell you want to call it! It’s NOT SAFE. NO!
My biggest fear ever since I was kid and even today when I walk back home at night from yoga or when I take a rickshaw from a friend’s home is being RAPED. I still feel that fear. I am still am on guard. I still fantasize of having that MACHINE GUN.
In the past 4 years I have been living and working half in India and half in New York and let me tell you I have walked the streets of Harlem, the Bronx and Brooklyn (perceived as the most dangerous in NYC) at3am after parties in short skirts and felt safer than I feel in Bandra at 10 pm on a quiet road fully covered. WHY??
Let’s talk about Delhi our Capital. I was there 2 days ago and the day of the rape. I wanted to go out and walk by India Gate and admire our great monuments but could I?! Why??
What good are all your speeches in the US or Japan or AUSTRALIA- NAMO, if no woman can walk freely in the streets even in broad daylight by herself in the CAPITAL OF OUR COUNTRY. Isn’t this a SHAME? SHAME ON YOU SIR.
This is our NO1 issue. FIX THIS before anything else.
This is a SHAME. And it’s YOUR SHAME. You are now RESPONSIBLE FOR US.
I beg all of you fine gentlemen that I have addressed to help change the LAW.
You are powerful men. I say, SHAME and PUNISH THE Gropers and Sexual offenders severely. KILL THE RAPISTS.
I won’t ask for public castration which is what I want and all the women want because I know this is unrealistic and things move SO DAMN SLOW in our FINE NATION.
All I ask for is the -Death Penalty Please. NOW! QUICK!
If that’s too hard or will take too long then at least LIFE IMPRISONMENT.
Put them away forever.
Why was this man who had raped twice before out on bail?
And then given a drivers license? YES, BAN UBER TOO. Make everyone responsible.
I’m ready to do anything. I’m not a big enough celeb but you Sachin Tendulkar, Amitabh Bachchan, Salman Khan, Sharukh Khan, Aamir Khan, Anil Ambani SIRS- need to speak up as MEN ( you are the men with the power)
SAVE US!
Please demand the Death Sentence for the Rapists.
NO BAIL. Just Death.
Superstars I beg you, please take a stand. Use your Superstardom and Power and MONEY and save the women of our country. SAVE US!
I urge you to protest or go on a fast or do something DRASTIC so people take notice, the government wakes up and CHANGES the LAW so these men are terrified to touch us.
Death to rapists. No bail. Just death.
Imagine Amitabh Bachchan Sir, Aamir Khan, Salmaan Khan, Sachin Tendulkar, Anil Ambani- if you went on a fast or walked to the Rashrtrapati In Delhi. If you, took this stand and made this YOUR NO 1 issue, how much change there would be?!
Why should we as women feel so unsafe in our motherland?!
Why should we as women be terrified and on guard all the time.
Why was this man out on bail after committed two rapes already ?
Make an Example Of Him.
Any man who even touches a woman should be imprisoned for life.
Be strict, make examples of these men, scare those who dare to touch us.
SCARE THEM BY MAKING AN EXAMPLE OUT OF THEM.
SAVE US, Save your mother, daughter, sister please!
This is NOT OUR SHAME.
THIS IS YOURS.
SHAME ON YOU.
Don’t sleep till you – SAVE YOUR WOMEN!
With all respect,
Shenaz Treasurywala
I think its time we stop sympathising with women in India, it is the best way to put things to an end. feel sorry for the women and then move on!! All these men, Salman Khan, SRK, Amitabh Bachhcan, and everyone else who are blindly trusted and treated as God by the people of India. All these people have an immense responsibility on their shoulders and they need to realise that responsibility. Just dancing at award shows or making centuries in cricket matches is not what is expected from them. They have power and they need to use it wisely. THIS IS GIVING BACK TO THE SOCIETY THAT TREATS U SO WELL. But for all we know, may be deep down they too dont respect women or they too dont care!!! Otherwise why did this letter had to be written urging and begging all these men to finally ACT!
yeah it’s true.every girl faces this type of situations every day. plz stop it.give respect to us.thank you shenaz for saying all this to superior men in our country
Applause to Shehnaz!!! Brilliant article!!!
Hi there
I agree with you. There is severe punishment for rape. No exception.
But our politician or celebrity can’t make as a law. We as a coomon man needs to aware
And help each other and make a system for all woman’s security.
For e.g pick up and drop off to the door by company vehicles.
Fast help by police. Anonymous phone no for help. Need to improve those
Services.
I respect Ladies and they should have all rights , equal rights as well.
But there are cases that Ladies misuse and penalized men. Due to personal reasons.
my sympathy goes to shenazz and all the women who r harassed by some men who blv that harassing women is a show of mardangi!!!
i feel sorry for girls who get raped in a moving car at the same time guys removing mms once the act is over the girl is been told to keep it low or they will throw her naked on road or else the video would be on internet…….. video is viral and its a shameful Act.
Please get a law asap
It’s so sad to read her confession…
I think we all Indian rich or poor should make
A movement against women harassment. .Make laws
more strict and more women in police force..
Strict implimenatation of law..
Excellently conveyed, I hope our PM reads this.
And though I am next to nothing, and though it doesn’t matter now, I feel extremely sorry for what happened to you and your friend. I really want the bastards from our country to be removed. Some of them are nothing but scum.
this open letter….opens our mind..keep up the spirit
Today SHAME is open
don’t stop your thoughts
don’t stop your pain
open up….so we can feel the pain….and do some justice to a;;
this open letter….opens our mind..keep up the spirit
Today SHAME is open
don’t stop your thoughts
don’t stop your pain
open up….so we can feel the pain….and do some justice to all
Its true……..isse bhi buri condition hai india ki……girls ki feeling koi nai samjhta lady…..ye sb bhi man hai….:(
I am so proud on u lady…..
The kind of extreme statements and ideas put forth by Shenaz never produce any meaningful change. “Any man who even touches a woman should be imprisoned for life” is a simply ridiculous proposition.
Great u spoke ur mind… now upto those whom u have asked to respond…
I commit that i would be the first one standing n stopping it if smthng of this sort happens in my presence..
hats off to u mem…
i agree with u…
Hey Shenaz its not really about appealing to these super men of the society. You wrote that the feminine have to speak up and I totally support this. I think until we don’t over come our fear of being judged by the society in a wrong sense we cannot come up speaking for self. My thought is that we should stop thinking about others as there is a saying that ”If we waste our time thinking that what people will think about us, then what will people think”. Good luck for your fight. I hope this goes somewhere and does not becomes just a note that people just share.
Yes,u r right Shenaz Treasurywala.I would like to add tht we girls have to kill these MEN.Before they do something bad with us.Dear Girls,Kill them or slap them.U will THE BEST after doing this with them :)
and Dear Mr.Modi.I know all issue in India is important for you.But please take some steps on these cases before anything else.Its a humble request to you.
i wish i had super-powers, i would have kicked those bastards… no mercy to those reckless creatures..
just one solution- start polishing the boys from a very young age.. parents must be responsible.. they should teach them to respect girls.. girls must be trained in martial arts, karate etc.. the topic should be included in school textbooks too
why spread hate ??
spread love
KISS OF LOVE
Some eminent neurologist once described – “rape, abuse and groping as beastly acts. The inflictors of these agonistic deeds are beastly, cruel, and sadistic in nature. They are dangerous individuals with split personality and often do not have remorse. They are species with deformed “ego”. No one can ever be sure of their safety around them.”
“Ego” (sensory layer within the brain) tactfully filters out unacceptable behaviors and sets us apart from beasts and makes us “humans”. This, all important, decision making part of our brain is not known and understood by many. It is the ‘ego’ that tells us to cover ourselves, not to steal, prevents us from eating raw food, motivates us to find a shelter, behave in a certain way, etc. Without ego we probably had been chimpanzees or some other kind of dangerous creatures. The “ego” learns by observing and emulating the society and belief systems of the environment.
The growing incident of these dastardly acts across the country and against all ages of women is alarming. The fact that majority of these acts are being committed and also being defended aggressively by the young of today. This is even more worrying. In my mind it is raising several questions about our changing society.
Have we become a society of less morals and values that our young are becoming incapable to be humans ? How else can we explain the increasing immoral acts, corruption, greed, and deceit around us?
What defense we have for the men who dare inflict pain and life long ordeal on our fellow human? Where is the just in punishing someone to this level of indignity and destruction? How can we live in the society where life’s work can be destroyed by tearing our women apart and shattering everything and everyone associated with that one life ? Over 85% of women abused are heroes & hope of their families. Imagine what we are doing to our own society and well being.
For those bull headed men, who still cannot fathom – go get yourself pushed to a raw ground or get your hands twisted or hair pulled. These women go through much more than that before – during – after the incident and for their entire life.
It is a shame, foolishness and outright ignorance to defend these men. These men are different species, lost their morales and do not belong in our society. They need to be nabbed and rooted out of our society and conditioned.
Sathi, child marriages are evil practices and could be banished with law. But the lack of proper ‘ego’ system development is much deeper issue of the society. It is the society that should start examining the belief systems and environments we are fostering.
Women are our fellow humans. Their lives are as important as ours. They serve much bigger purpose to our kind. They have their dreams. They deserve basic human values of respect – dignity – safety – security – and all freedom. We should take the responsibility to ingrain these values in every possible way. Societies of nations that embraced such equality and value system have grown far and beyond. Examine Sweden, Canada, China and even some Middle Eastern countries.
Let this dialogue continue among ourselves at all levels and across the nation. Let us start working on the all important “ego” building to treat women like humans, giving them the equal footing and stop judging them by what they wear or how they conduct themselves. Lets make our society a healthy environment for our women to thrive.
I ask – media to engage and bring better awareness in our society; dignitaries to condemn these acts and show support; social networks to help propagate good sense among our young; as responsible citizens & humans, let us start viewing these as unacceptable and take responsibility to change the mindsets.
Let us make them feel safe, wanted, happy and fulfilled.
Jai hind….
I am sure your efforts will make India a better place for women one day. Keep going..I am with you!
Shanaz already lots of cases are pending they are not taking any decision on time and we women are screaming like a dog that plz take any action against rapist(jungils). But this time I except good decision from our Prime Minister (Narendra Modi) that women can walk freely on street at night and rapist punishment should be change they should not leave them on bail and they should give them capital punishment. Shenaz you protest v are their with u
omg i almost cried , i live in Pakistan and some time may be alot of time women feels the same here too but ….. , we r afraid to speak because of these man .. what if they dont wanna marry to that girl whos being rapped or touched , if they speak , their survival will be in danger this is what womens parents teaches them to shut their mouths if they ever wanted to speak , its a universal problem and i think women should be united and make this happened, they should start a march or strike in whatever form under one flag so this can be happen , yeh that gona b tough for all but we should speak up now stand up now ,
regards
#i_take_responsibility
#i_take_responsibility
I am no one to
change this whole world but yes I can change
myself, in order to grow for a better society.
First of all women can wear what ever the hell they want anyone who says they cant are pathetic, filthy, little bastard. I have no respect whatsoever for those who treat women like poorly and think its okay. Reading some of the comments are disgusting, you are indirectly defending such low behavior and rapist. If u agree the women got rapes or touch becuase of how they were dressed or the she was drunk u have failed humanity.
Others who have come to defend women. I think highly of you.. we need more inteligent peopel like you. I sincerely thank you from the bottom of my heart..
I couldn’t read the whole article. Half way through I wanted to fly to india and slash one of these kind of assholes throats with a rusted razor. Left a few messages for you shenaz beta. Its on facebook.
Supreet Matharu
PS: God forbid it happens again but next time..stab him in his family jewels.. If we cant stop them from misbehaving..lets stop them from breeding.
Respect for such daring woman! We are just thinking to write and tell the same but you actuall did. I believe one day this will definitely happen. Jai hind!!
Shehnaz I would like to thank you for putting this all over here. This has made me to think how this situation/frustration can be addressed. New law? How many existing laws/rights we are aware of ? Let’s the journey begin..
So ALL girls, mums out there .. how about exercising our basic right “self defence”. Just think about it ! We have to stand for our own and it’s no good to urge to good men. If we cant, how could anyone else ?
Enough is enough! Imagine – girls are standing for their own self defence and a wild spread of how these men have been beaten, broken or sometimes killed (self defence doesn’t count it as murder ) will bring a change.
We have our independence 67 years ago but we haven’t exercised our basic rights -to live life, to protect onself , to exercise self defence and now its HIGH time to exercise it all ! We are integral part of our country and we have every right to be free and live life to the fullest just by being a good reasonable citizen. Shall we ?
Hi,
I agree with you, there should be capital punishment for rapists. I think is the only which will deter the animal instinct in rapists.