Dear Narendra Modi, Amitabh Bachchan, Sachin Tendulkar, Shahrukh Khan, Salman Khan, Aamir Khan and Anil Ambani,
I am writing to YOU specifically because you are the most powerful and influential MEN in our country.
I am writing to you as a woman who grew up in a middle class family in Mumbai.
I am writing to YOU for HELP!
My parents may not like me saying this. I apologize to them if they are reading but this is NOT MY SHAME. It’s THIER SHAME.
My first experience with the opposite sex, was when I was just 13 and groped by a man (never saw his face but will never forget his hand) while walking in the vegetable market with my mom. She had just given me the worst haircut and as an angry teenager I was upset at her and was lagging behind as she walked ahead. I still remember what I was wearing. It was her dress, mustard with flowers and little bow in the front. How I hate that dress! As if, it was the dress’s fault.
I was shocked at first. Speechless. He disappeared. I just stood there. Tears started pouring out of my innocent eyes. I told my mom who went mad screaming in the market but who knew where that man disappeared to. I still remember the dirty feeling I had and the number of times I showered in my grand-mom’s bathroom after. That feeling never went away.
Shenaz Treasurywala
Since then it was non-stop. I would try to articulate this to my parents and while my mom understood, my dad and uncles told me I was imagining it. Maybe they just couldn’t deal with it. CAN YOU?
When I was 15, I started going by train and bus to St. Xaviers’ College. I was groped and touched and from all angles and this was just how I grew up. Not Just Me but MOST INDIAN WOMEN who don’t have the luxury of cars and drivers.
As a teenager I would dream of and still sometimes dream that I had a machine gun and could kill all the men who tried to grope me. A very disturbing dream for a kid, don’t you think?
I got my first assignment as a model in the FYJC and I had to go to screen-tests straight from college. So I had to dress nice, didn’t make it any easier. I specifically remember the time I went for an audition in a red body suit and a black long skirt with slits. It was HELL! I never wore that again. As if it was the dress’s fault.
I developed ways to defend myself, I always carried a bag in front of me, my fist was always clenched, I always turned around every 20 seconds to check who was behind me and a few times I slapped men who touched me, I got slapped back many times too. Sometimes saved by the public, MOST TIMES NOT.
My mom begged me not to pick fights with men who touched me, she was afraid of acid being thrown at me or that somebody someday would hurt me badly. She is STILL AFRAID and today she told me not to take an UBER to my meeting tomorrow. Hell ya. BAN UBER! Make everyone take responsibility for this.
My sister got into Sophia’s college, we were all excited. She went by bus but the first day she came home, she sobbed traumatized. A man had put his hand in her tee-shirt through her sleeve, the entire bus ride. She just froze. She was a kid too and wasn’t equipped to even understand this. I was LIVID. I’m sorry sis for telling the world this, please don’t stop speaking to me. IT’S NOT Our Shame. It’s THEIRS!
One of my friends in college was RAPED on the train on her way home in the ladies compartment. She was sick and was going home in the 11:15 break. There was nobody in the first class compartment going back to Bandra at that time, it was a superfast meaning it didn’t stop at most stations. He raped her and then jumped off after using her scrunchy (hair tie) to wipe himself. She was the only one on the train and had to limp her way back to her home in Bandra, bleeding profusely. She was just 16. This she felt was her shame so she did not say anything to anyone.
BUT IT ISN’T HER SHAME, it’s THEIR SHAME.
My mom accompanied me to Hyderabad on a shoot once. In churi bazaar, a cyclist groped My MOM. My dear respected and lovely MOM.
Sorry Mom, IT’S NOT Our Shame, It’s THEIR SHAME.
Why am I telling you my personal story?
Well first I want all women to Speak Up.
Let’s make this our MOTTO-
It’s not OUR SHAME, it’s THEIR SHAME.
Who are “THEY”?
“THEY” ARE THE MEN IN OUR COUNTRY.
Not just the rapists and the sexual offenders and gropers but also our Fathers (sorry dad) and Uncles and Brothers and MOVIE STARS AND CRICKETERS AND POLITICIANS for not SAVING US or PROTECTING US by insisting and protesting for the LAWS TO CHANGE and Rapists and Gropers to BE PUNISHED SEVERELY!
Why do we as women have to feel so threatened? WHY has there been no severe action taken? This has gone on for years now. Not just in Delhi but all over our country and yes even in BOMBAY OR MUMBAI OR Whatever the hell you want to call it! It’s NOT SAFE. NO!
My biggest fear ever since I was kid and even today when I walk back home at night from yoga or when I take a rickshaw from a friend’s home is being RAPED. I still feel that fear. I am still am on guard. I still fantasize of having that MACHINE GUN.
In the past 4 years I have been living and working half in India and half in New York and let me tell you I have walked the streets of Harlem, the Bronx and Brooklyn (perceived as the most dangerous in NYC) at3am after parties in short skirts and felt safer than I feel in Bandra at 10 pm on a quiet road fully covered. WHY??
Let’s talk about Delhi our Capital. I was there 2 days ago and the day of the rape. I wanted to go out and walk by India Gate and admire our great monuments but could I?! Why??
What good are all your speeches in the US or Japan or AUSTRALIA- NAMO, if no woman can walk freely in the streets even in broad daylight by herself in the CAPITAL OF OUR COUNTRY. Isn’t this a SHAME? SHAME ON YOU SIR.
This is our NO1 issue. FIX THIS before anything else.
This is a SHAME. And it’s YOUR SHAME. You are now RESPONSIBLE FOR US.
I beg all of you fine gentlemen that I have addressed to help change the LAW.
You are powerful men. I say, SHAME and PUNISH THE Gropers and Sexual offenders severely. KILL THE RAPISTS.
I won’t ask for public castration which is what I want and all the women want because I know this is unrealistic and things move SO DAMN SLOW in our FINE NATION.
All I ask for is the -Death Penalty Please. NOW! QUICK!
If that’s too hard or will take too long then at least LIFE IMPRISONMENT.
Put them away forever.
Why was this man who had raped twice before out on bail?
And then given a drivers license? YES, BAN UBER TOO. Make everyone responsible.
I’m ready to do anything. I’m not a big enough celeb but you Sachin Tendulkar, Amitabh Bachchan, Salman Khan, Sharukh Khan, Aamir Khan, Anil Ambani SIRS- need to speak up as MEN ( you are the men with the power)
SAVE US!
Please demand the Death Sentence for the Rapists.
NO BAIL. Just Death.
Superstars I beg you, please take a stand. Use your Superstardom and Power and MONEY and save the women of our country. SAVE US!
I urge you to protest or go on a fast or do something DRASTIC so people take notice, the government wakes up and CHANGES the LAW so these men are terrified to touch us.
Death to rapists. No bail. Just death.
Imagine Amitabh Bachchan Sir, Aamir Khan, Salmaan Khan, Sachin Tendulkar, Anil Ambani- if you went on a fast or walked to the Rashrtrapati In Delhi. If you, took this stand and made this YOUR NO 1 issue, how much change there would be?!
Why should we as women feel so unsafe in our motherland?!
Why should we as women be terrified and on guard all the time.
Why was this man out on bail after committed two rapes already ?
Make an Example Of Him.
Any man who even touches a woman should be imprisoned for life.
Be strict, make examples of these men, scare those who dare to touch us.
SCARE THEM BY MAKING AN EXAMPLE OUT OF THEM.
SAVE US, Save your mother, daughter, sister please!
This is NOT OUR SHAME.
THIS IS YOURS.
SHAME ON YOU.
Don’t sleep till you – SAVE YOUR WOMEN!
With all respect,
Shenaz Treasurywala
i am with her… after all i am a father of a daughter ……
its d daily story……… we women needs safety. I am also supporting Shehnaz fr her call to the society
hats off To You madam
Well THis depends on THe Thinking of THe people… Trust ME a well educated and well raised Boy Cant do THis. It’s all on THe Mentality of THe Person Like How he treats THe girl or Lady
For me i Have full Respekt for the ladies.. Even Once i Stopped One Person in delhi when i was Last Time in india.. And THat Person Said he will kill me. Really i Want THat there should be a fast Track court für These matters and a strict Law Should be There acc. To Which if a Person is Guilty a life time imprisonment and IT Should be Untill he dies inside THe cell
Or worst case Exekution Should BE There
Belive me if Few decisions Like this Takes place THis will BE Reduced.
Killing cockroaches with gun!
Hello all,
However desirable the proposed solution appear, on practical grounds it cannot work. There is certainly need for action and setting example, however the proposed solution (life imprisonment or death) which comes out of (understandably) emotional outcry, cannot be answer in a practical world. On the other hand, nor such provisions can be effective enough deterrent. There are various reasons and sensible arguments to support what i said, but i will not go in details unless someone asks for it. Instead, i would present far better practical solution.
Soical card: Make it necessary to have social card for all citizens. All organizations/and unorganized venues (academic, companies, govt orgs, ngos, unorganized sector, selfemployeed, domestic-helps, etc) must review and take responsibility of their human resources. No companies, will then take legal risks to employee someone with bad history (which currently easy to escape for companies, as there is no sturdy background checking standards). All auto/taxis must have social card on their uniform. All academic organizations must check for social card. These are relatively simpler to implement and far more humane.
Solutions in this lines are far less dramatic, but i bet are more effective than all the measures taken till now. Why? Because currently the offenders have odds in their side. And there is no lasting effect (in all current provisions, only fraction of a percentage would have lasting negative effect on their life for their offence). With solutions similar to social card, offenders will have the spot on their face for life (repeat offenders will kind-of have their face black). Either they can behave or be prepared to live miserable life (along with all legal provisions). This low-key deterrent will work better. For example, as i said, you don’t kill cockroaches with gun, but need low-key pesticide.
Last note: this habit of certain female/male individuals to label all men in bad light is – sick. Introspect.
Debate/questions are welcomed.
A very courageous letter.And she makes the point.We must do whatever it takes to stop this ugly social evil.And issues such as these should be brought to the fore.And i personally believe a lot many things can start from the all powerful politicians.Awareness and willingness and also determination are the key .
Hi
I share my condolences with her. We need strict laws. But, girls needed to exercise caution in their dressing in the interim period at least…There are maniacs everywhere..We see more jingoists than patriots..We see more opportunists than saints, we see more fanatics than real religious. So…There cannot be all philosophy poured in here as each one of its has some virtue..
i really appreciate all women emotions and feelings but at the same time i also beg them to give respect to themselves. it is one of my personal experiences. at that time i was in Trivandrum for a national seminar and i along with my team mates and others were being taken to the college in same vehicle. one of the girls was forcing (as i am not exaggerating) the driver to play HONEY SINGH. she was pretty upset as a malyali driver was not having Honey singh’s songs. one helping nature boy solved her problem and he played the song “blue eyes hipnotise teri karti mainu” and amazingly the attitude of girl changed.
i was expecting that girl to stop when line comes “CHOTI DRESS MEIN BOMB lagti mainu” but who cares she kept going on.
my point is that when honey singh sings then all okkay but when a boy does same kinda vile activity then it comes to police station. i am not supporting that sort of boys but i am saying that why GIRLS dont take actiion against honey singh and others? is this because he is a celebretty?
dont be biased. just see the advertisement of any Car or Deo..they are just like advertising a semi naked girl trying to seduce a boy rather advertising a deo or car.
It was very disturbing. It is disgusting. But i want to thank you that you posted this. This is not your voice , but it is voice of 50 percent population. You are very brave.
Ms Shehnaz. what are you trying to cook up.?
Hi Shernaz, I agree that the severest of punishment should be metted out to rapist, molesters, groppers( tuition teacher from experience ) my only point is that if a women wrongly accuse someone she too should be given a harsh punishment. If this is not done, we will have a country full of women who wish to get even with someone and wrongly use the law. Justice should prevail!
Maa’m just a suggestion, before appealing these stars to take a tough stand on death penalty, make sure that your industry( BLOOYWOOD), which is majorly responsible for all the vulgarities and potraying our Indian women as an obejct of physical sense gratification, stops showing women in this sense.
This is nt problm only for tht grl…. This is for all nd all should be responsible fot tht…….nd should be insure for minimum cases as like tht…… Actually frstly neither govt. Responsible for tht…nor any special person… . This is related nd controlled by our social atmosphere frstly…. One baby. Who born ..grow nd live in various situations…think various types u knw….. So if we strictly chng tht bad atmosphere which teaches us grls r our wealth or as like bad mantilitis….if we had collect to chng tht for our childrens..our country..nd ourselves also… Thn i think we will be in better condition soon…..by making hard laws. .only govt. Cant destroy tht ..bcoz it is nt on hard..it is in our thoughts..our mind…… May be we read tht..cn undrstnd my thoughts…jai hind
Why is it that someone has to speak up before something is done? Even the politicians, police and the superstars cannot be trusted. Although we can plead them and hope for the best but we shouldn’t be totally dependent on them. They are busy with their own lives because of having money, position and power. They don’t actually care about the citizens. They only show off for sometime and then continue with their own lives. I know it’s much more difficult for a woman but we have to be strong. Try not to depend too much on men. Make yourself so strong. There are defense classes that can be attended. That will teach men a lesson. I have been living outside India for most of my life. Before i was patriotic but not now. Now i feel ashamed of being an Indian. A country where goddesses are worshiped but women are not respected cannot progress. I have seen that even on facebook, some men used to talk about sex with me. I was shocked. They are so much into it that they aren’t ashamed of themselves. I deleted those boys from my friend list. Then people blame the girls just because nowadays the girls wear modern clothes. But no one blames the men. Rather, the men are given priority and women are used just like toys. Such men should be dealt with severely. All women should unite and fight for themselves by themselves.
This is problem with our society. We don’t respect females. I full agree with you it’s shame on males who donot oppose these activities. We should start respecting females. Rapist should be hanged till death that is only solution. They are not human being. So we should not discuss humanity.
Ranting by a Bimbo.
PR Stunt ???
The Open letter is very silly.
totally agree n sympathize with you.
Great arguments but out of reality, law says “100 kasoor karnewale bhale hi bach jaye per 1 nirdosh ko saj nahi honi chahiye” no one have idea of other person what he is thinking? or what he will do in next minute, it is next to impossible to punish some one who is victim of false case made on him, when it comes to “RAPE” people always perceive women as a victim, many a times false cases files in police station, though our laws are so liberal and take long time, men are suffering in this situation and you are talking about the laws which should not give a damm chance to the men, how will they react in that situation?? will he wrote latter to all the women???
its our fault as a society we failed here, with all the respect to your argument i just want to say that we all need to think on as a human being.
kayde kanoon kitne bhi majboot karlo, kuch nahi hone wala suffur karenge to bus wahi jiske pass power nahi…
Thanks
She really spoke her heart out.. i think she narrated the mental agony of all those who experienced such heinous act… salute to this Lady. Stars need to understand their responsibility for society .
She has done what I always to tell the PM of the country. Before visiting countries, see whats happening in our own country, so that when you step out , other people respect Indians more. Here women are trashed in middle of the road or dragged out and raped or used and thrown as an tissue. Is these you want Indian women or Girl or a kid to face? Dont blame a female on their dress code ,, what about the 2 year kid raped or molested??? these insane needs a big punishment as the UAE and other countries has. People are busy in changing law for their self motive or for dram changing n shits,,!! why no activeness in changing Indian constitutional rules set for such offence. People please be a Man. If you are really a Man , change people or force them to change themselves.
Expecting alot from you PM Ji
True,
Can’t explain in word the feeling what i have now in my heart that can’t be explain in words definetly these peoples can do the needfull thing to make in our country safe for womens in india i do agree with shenaz story there should be action taken against this crime which being going on in india there should a punishment for rapist n groper that can think before touching any girl or women on road or anywhre on street of india.
Regards,
Maroof Shaikh
hats up..nicely written..I think that modi, salman, Amir..can’t do anything for it..so we should make a grp n work fr it..n we will punish the rapist..
No1 is gonna help us in our own motherland.. modi should make self defense education compulsory in schools and collages..so that gals can defend themselves
Dear all males (who commented above),
We don’t need your sympathy, no women need that. We need freedom and some serious steps. I want to ask all respected males who have commented above, how many times you protected or saved or helped any girl suffering in the crowd.
Don’t show sympathy, just show your humanity.
ohhhhh awesome words…..Shenaz, salute you. I am damn sure our new PM MODI ji can make strict laws in India. Lets wait…….
Thanx
prasanth
bangalore
its need a lot of courage…..salute u champ.
these kinda thing makes me feel ashamed of being a a guy…..my own gf was harrassed twice..she has never told this to any one….first it happened in a bus and next incident was when she was traveling from UP to delhi in a train..lonely girl in a compartment filled with men….one guy started watching porn and satrted showing her knowingly as if she is not wtching….one guy took his d*ck out and started rubbing that…..this is so so soooo sick…she was so scared…she called me and i spoke with her for an hour and advised her to sleep calmly and relax.. i kept talikng to her till she finally reached delhi ..i came to pick her….all those men got down somewhere she dint notice..
Nearly a week ago my younger sister who is 13 and asked me ” bhaiya jab main bahar jati hoon…tuition k liye….sab aise kyun dekhte hain…gussa aata hai ” what should i answer about that to my lil angel ..how cruel this world is…every men have got desire…thast natural…..but serioulsy on kids….and dare to rape someone…thast f*king not natural…..hang the b**tards till death.
I really sympathize with the women of our country!! The laws will not able to help them as much as they would like!! there are so many laws for every crime still so much of crime takes place everyday and in every place!! What we need is shift in mindset about the woman!! And this can prevent crimes against women!! Each and every parent has to inculcate the respect for each and every woman in their sons. And this is a very tough and long drawn work!! But we have to start sometime and once it starts there will be end to it also!! GOD BLESS OUR COUNTRY!!!
I m with u shehnaz
I feel uv chosen the right platform n people to address to
I really hope… Infact am confident that atleeeaaast one of them would take a notice..
I m with u shehnaz
I feel uv chosen the right platform n people to address to
I really hope… Infact am confident that atleeeaaast one of them would take a notice..all the best
Dear all males (who commented above),
We don’t need your sympathy, no women need that. We need freedom and some serious steps. I want to ask all respected males who have commented above, how many times you protected or saved or helped any girl suffering in the crowd.
Don’t show sympathy, just show your humanity.