Rajnikanth Jokes – Best SMS Jokes

  • Posted in : Bollywood
  • |
  • December 14th, 2011.

Rajnikanth jokes are one of the most read and forwarded SMS jokes in India and this has only helped his popularity grow all over the country. These jokes are not meant to offend him or his fans. It’s a satirical take on how Rajnikanth makes impossible, possible. Much like most of his larger-than-life films.

This will be a mega collection of Rajnikanth jokes. Your free to contribute your own Rajni joke – by posting in the comments section below – we will add your entry to the collection and also credit you for it.

Currently, we have managed to find about 90 of the best Rajnikant jokes available on the internet. We have numbered each of them, just so that if you revisit and we have added additional jokes, you will know where to continue reading from.

Enjoy! 

  • Joke 1 – Rajnikanth doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
  • Joke 2 – Rajnikanth killed the dead sea.
  • Joke 3- Rajnikanth makes onions cry.
  • Joke 4 – Rajnikanth once wrote a cheque, the bank bounced!
  • Joke 5 – Rajnikanth can drown a fish.
  • Joke 6 – Rajnikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.
  • Joke 7 – Rajnikanth knows Victoria’s secret.
  • Joke 8 – If Rajni was born 100 years earlier, British would have fought to get independence from India.
  • Joke 9 – Rajnikanth’s calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajnikanth.
  • Joke 10 – Once a cobra bit Rajnikanth’s leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
  • Joke 11 – Rajnikanth can kill two stones with one bird.
  • Joke 12 – Rajnikanth has already been to Mars, that’s why there are no signs of life there.
  • Joke 13 – Micheal Jordan to Rajnikanth: I can spin a ball on my finger for over two hours. Can you? Rajni: Rascala, how do you think the earth spins?
  • Joke 14 – Rajnikanth has counted to infinity, twice.
  • Joke 15 – Rajnikanth can delete the Windows Recycle Bin.
  • Joke 16 – Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Rajnikanth can throw Brett Favre even further.
  • Joke 17 – Hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Rajnikanth can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.
  • Joke 18 – Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Rajnikanth.
  • Joke 19 – When you say “no one’s perfect”, Rajnikanth takes this as a personal insult.
  • Joke 20 – Rajnikanth is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
  • Joke 21 – It takes Rajnikanth 20 mins to watch 60 minutes
  • Joke 22 – There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Rajnikanth lives in Chennai
  • Joke 23 – Rajnikanth once consumed an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink once.
  • Joke 24 – The only thing that runs faster and longer than Rajnikanth are his films.
  • Joke 25 – Where there is a will, there is a way. Where there is Rajnikanth there is no other way.
  • Joke 26 – Rajnikanth once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are today called giraffes.
  • Joke 27 – Rajnikanth never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself in fear.
  • Joke 28 – Rajnikanth kills Harry Potter in the eighth book.
  • Joke 29 – Rajnikanth doesn’t move at the speed of light. Light moves at the speed of Rajnikanth.
  • Joke 30 – Rajnikanth knows Victoria’s secret.
  • Joke 31 – Water boils faster when Rajnikanth stares at it.
  • Joke 32 – Google won’t find Rajnikanth because you don’t find Rajnikanth; Rajnikanth finds you.
  • Joke 33 – Rajnikanth leaves messages before the beep.
  • Joke 34 – Rajnikanth electrocuted Iron Man.
  • Joke 35 – Rajnikanth killed Spiderman using Baygon Anti Bug Spray.
  • Joke 36 – Rajnikanth goes to court and sentences the judge.
  • Joke 37 – Rajnikanth can teach an old dog new tricks.
  • Joke 38 – Rajnikanth once had a heart attack. His heart lost.
  • Joke 39 – Rajnikanth can lick his elbows.
  • Joke 40 – Words like awesomeness, brilliance, legendary, Hero etc. were added to the dictionary in the year 1949. That was the year Rajnikanth was born.
  • Joke 41 – The statement “nobody can cheat death”, is a personal insult to Rajnikanth. Rajni cheats and fools death everyday.
  • Joke 42 – Rajnikanth can give pain to Painkillers and headache to Anacin.
  • Joke 43 – Time and tide wait for Rajnikanth.
  • Joke 44 – Rajnikanth sneezed only once in his entire life, that’s when the tsunami occurred in the Indian ocean.
  • Joke 45 – Rajnikanth can answer a missed call.
  • Joke 46 – Rajnikanth’s brain works faster than Chacha Chaudhury’s.
  • Joke 47 – The quickest way to a man’s heart is with Rajnikanth’s fist.
  • Joke 48 – Archaeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined “victim” as “one who has encountered Rajnikanth”.
  • Joke 49 – Rajnikanth is a champion in the game ‘Hide n seek’, as no one can hide from Rajnikanth.
  • Joke 50 – Rajnikanth is a weapon created by God to use on doomsday to end the world.
  • Joke 51 – Aliens do indeed exist. They are just too scared to visit a planet that Rajnikanth is on.
  • Joke 52 – When Rajnikanth plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.
  • Joke 53 – Rajnikanth doesn’t answer nature’s call nature answers Rajnikanth’s call!!
  • Joke 54 – In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajnikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.
  • Joke 55 – Rajnikanth can build a snowman out of rain!
  • Joke 56 – Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Rajanikanth’s PC will crash.
  • Joke 57 – Once Rajni underwent a surgery…anesthesia was administered to the surgeons
  • Joke 58 – When Rajnikanth goes to a gym to workout, no one can workout since Rajini uses all the weights available.
  • Joke 59 – dam and Eve are children of Rajnikanth
  • Joke 60 – Rajini can eat dosa with chop sticks
  • Joke 61 – Gabbar singh forgets his dialogues when he sees Rajnikanth
  • Joke 62 – The box office collection of the movie Ra 1 was less than parking collection of Robot
  • Joke 63 – Rajnikanth got 150 questions in exam paper asking – “Solve any 100 questions” He solved all 150 and wrote, ” Rascalla!, check any 100!
  • Joke 64 – Once Rajnikanth entered bigg boss…The next day announcement was made… Rajnikanth chahte hai ki bigg boss confession room me aye
  • Joke 65 – Rajnikanth can cure cancer with his first aid box
  • Joke 66 – Munni Badnaam hui Rajnikanth ke liye
  • Joke 67 – If Rajnikanth’s PC hangs… its time for next windows release
  • Joke 68 – Rajnikanth taught yoga to Baba Ramdev
  • Joke 69 – Rajnikanth can sneeze with open eyes.
  • Joke 70 – Once Rajnikanth dropped a coin while he was standing in the belcony… He went down to pick it up, but it was not there! Reason? He reached there before the coin
  • Joke 71 – The apple which fell on newton was actually thrown by Rajnikanth
  • Joke 72 – Once Rajinikath blasted at a boy for not wearing cap in the hot sun. Today that boy is known as Himesh Reshammiya.
  • Joke 73 – When Rajnikanth get angry at the Sun, it hides behind the moon… that phenomenon is called Solar eclipse.
  • Joke 74 – Once Rajni was fined by cops for overspeeding at a 75 kilometers per hour zone. He was walking.
  • Joke 75 – In Rajnikanth’s wedding, the fire took the saath phere of Rajnikanth and his wife
  • Joke 76 – Rajnikanth can tie his shoes with his feet.
  • Joke 77 – Rajnikanth once wrote his autobiography. Today that book is known as ‘Guinness book of world records’ and his childhood homework is now called Wikipedia.
  • Joke 78 – Rajnikanth first takes the gold medal and then the race starts
  • Joke 79 – Rajnikanth laughs at you and your silly jokes about him even before you think them up.
  • Joke 80 – Some actor set benchmarks in cinema, Rajnikanth sets desk marks
  • Joke 81 – Whenever Rajnikanth makes an error, it’s an invention.
  • Joke 82 – Only Rajnikanth knows Choli Ke Peechhe Kya Hai.
  • Joke 83 – Rajnikanth twice won arguments with his wife.
  • Joke 84 – How did Paul Octopus die? He was asked to predict Rajanikanth’s death.
  • Joke 85 – Rajnikanth had to make 24 runs in just 1 ball remaining. He hit the ball in such a way that it got broken into 4 pieces and he got 4 sixes.
  • Joke 86 – Even Ghajini remembers Rajini.
  • Joke 87 – Don Ko Pakadna Mushkil Hi Nahi Asaan Hai – For Rajnikanth
  • Joke 88 – Rajnikanth can make a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.
  • Joke 89 – Every morning rajni goes for spacewalk.
  • Joke 90 – Computer doesn’t give warning message to Rajini… Rajini warns computer
 
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Comments

Desai:  (December 14, 2011 at 6:30 am)

An apple fell on newton was thrown by Rajnikant thus gravitational force was invented.

Thumb up 8 Thumb down 4

 
Desai:  (December 14, 2011 at 6:34 am)

Rajnikanth prefers to eat a blue whale in dinner.

Thumb up 9 Thumb down 9

 
dev:  (December 14, 2011 at 12:11 pm)

‘The box office
collection of the movie Ra 1 was
less than parking collection of
Robot’.

I think its not a joke.

Highly rated comment Thumb up 55 Thumb down 20

 
Sanna Nasser Sheikh:  (December 14, 2011 at 1:49 pm)

RajniKanth makes the space and roll over it.

Thumb up 3 Thumb down 7

 
Sanna Nasser Sheikh:  (December 14, 2011 at 1:50 pm)

Rajnikanth is made for a sand wish once dip not out.

Thumb up 4 Thumb down 7

 
Khan:  (December 14, 2011 at 3:04 pm)

This joke has been posted twice- Rajnikanth knows Victoria’s secret! Make it once!

Thumb up 11 Thumb down 7

 
iAmDocNazir:  (December 14, 2011 at 9:04 pm)

When Rajnikanth was a student. .teacher used to bunk classes

Highly rated comment Thumb up 40 Thumb down 8

 
Sourav:  (December 14, 2011 at 10:24 pm)

I have a another Joke -

Last night we all have faced an Earthquake… But the real matter is that was not an Earthquake… Actually last night Rajnikant kept his Mobile in Vibrate mode… That is why its happen. OK …

Highly rated comment Thumb up 37 Thumb down 5

 
Akram Abbas:  (December 15, 2011 at 6:07 pm)

Rajnikaanth can kill Lions with only one finger.

Thumb up 5 Thumb down 14

 
krish:  (December 15, 2011 at 6:25 pm)

Rajni once gave a birth to a child….

Popular Thumb up 10 Thumb down 32

 
dsrk:  (December 17, 2011 at 8:59 pm)

also add the Joke
Salman liftime all movie collection is less then RAJNIKANT’S one movie’s fee.

Popular Thumb up 7 Thumb down 25

 
Dr.Jithin:  (December 18, 2011 at 2:41 am)

Once Rajinikanth gave the change in his wallet to a beggar boy on the road..He is now better known to us by the name Bill Gates

Highly rated comment Thumb up 34 Thumb down 4

 
Dr.Jithin:  (December 18, 2011 at 2:49 am)

The united states have spent billions of dollars in developing most destructive weapons..Yet they have failed to create a weapon that can atleast put a scratch on rajinikanth

Highly rated comment Thumb up 15 Thumb down 4

 
Irshad:  (December 19, 2011 at 11:33 am)

Thank God, Kolaveri Di song was sung by Dhanush.
if it was sung by his father in law Rajnikanth, it could have been our national anthem now!. :D

Highly rated comment Thumb up 47 Thumb down 4

 
Dr.Jithin:  (February 22, 2012 at 7:06 pm)

Bermuda triangle is Rajinikanth’s personal peoperty.We know wat happened to tresspassers-none got back alive or even dead

Highly rated comment Thumb up 19 Thumb down 1

 
Anant:  (March 19, 2012 at 10:34 pm)

Once Rajnikanth was chewing a ‘Paan’ and he spat it on a building & today that building is known as ‘RED FORT’:)

Thumb up 13 Thumb down 10

 
Jaskirat Singh:  (March 19, 2012 at 10:36 pm)

Once Rajni kicked his sweeper boy who was holding a broom & today that boy is known as ‘HARRY POTTER’:p

Highly rated comment Thumb up 27 Thumb down 0

 
Rshisd:  (March 22, 2012 at 7:58 am)

Once rajnis sperm was fertilized with a bird’s egg,the species is known as aeroplane

Thumb up 13 Thumb down 10

 
crysis:  (March 22, 2012 at 2:53 pm)

during childhood rajnikant ‘s toy car was lost it was founded by an driver and now known
as ‘the Monster Truck’.

Thumb up 6 Thumb down 2

 
pavan kumar:  (March 22, 2012 at 10:09 pm)

raniji kanth dialy wakes up his alarm clock

Highly rated comment Thumb up 17 Thumb down 0

 
pavan kumar:  (March 22, 2012 at 10:12 pm)

Bhopal gas tragedy is due rajani’s bad stomach

Thumb up 11 Thumb down 8

 
Nitish:  (March 23, 2012 at 3:05 pm)

Once rajnikanth thrown half eaten apple its an logo of apple gadgets

Highly rated comment Thumb up 25 Thumb down 2

 
deandra:  (March 25, 2012 at 10:36 pm)

dum

Thumb up 0 Thumb down 24

 
Rohaan:  (April 1, 2012 at 12:50 pm)

once rajnikanth fuked a girl n baby came out 2nd day :D

Popular Thumb up 6 Thumb down 29

 
doninsult:  (April 9, 2012 at 12:19 pm)

Fuked girl is rohaan mother and the baby is rohaan…

Popular Thumb up 27 Thumb down 18

 

 

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