Dear Narendra Modi, Amitabh Bachchan, Sachin Tendulkar, Shahrukh Khan, Salman Khan, Aamir Khan and Anil Ambani,
I am writing to YOU specifically because you are the most powerful and influential MEN in our country.
I am writing to you as a woman who grew up in a middle class family in Mumbai.
I am writing to YOU for HELP!
My parents may not like me saying this. I apologize to them if they are reading but this is NOT MY SHAME. It’s THIER SHAME.
My first experience with the opposite sex, was when I was just 13 and groped by a man (never saw his face but will never forget his hand) while walking in the vegetable market with my mom. She had just given me the worst haircut and as an angry teenager I was upset at her and was lagging behind as she walked ahead. I still remember what I was wearing. It was her dress, mustard with flowers and little bow in the front. How I hate that dress! As if, it was the dress’s fault.
I was shocked at first. Speechless. He disappeared. I just stood there. Tears started pouring out of my innocent eyes. I told my mom who went mad screaming in the market but who knew where that man disappeared to. I still remember the dirty feeling I had and the number of times I showered in my grand-mom’s bathroom after. That feeling never went away.
Shenaz Treasurywala
Since then it was non-stop. I would try to articulate this to my parents and while my mom understood, my dad and uncles told me I was imagining it. Maybe they just couldn’t deal with it. CAN YOU?
When I was 15, I started going by train and bus to St. Xaviers’ College. I was groped and touched and from all angles and this was just how I grew up. Not Just Me but MOST INDIAN WOMEN who don’t have the luxury of cars and drivers.
As a teenager I would dream of and still sometimes dream that I had a machine gun and could kill all the men who tried to grope me. A very disturbing dream for a kid, don’t you think?
I got my first assignment as a model in the FYJC and I had to go to screen-tests straight from college. So I had to dress nice, didn’t make it any easier. I specifically remember the time I went for an audition in a red body suit and a black long skirt with slits. It was HELL! I never wore that again. As if it was the dress’s fault.
I developed ways to defend myself, I always carried a bag in front of me, my fist was always clenched, I always turned around every 20 seconds to check who was behind me and a few times I slapped men who touched me, I got slapped back many times too. Sometimes saved by the public, MOST TIMES NOT.
My mom begged me not to pick fights with men who touched me, she was afraid of acid being thrown at me or that somebody someday would hurt me badly. She is STILL AFRAID and today she told me not to take an UBER to my meeting tomorrow. Hell ya. BAN UBER! Make everyone take responsibility for this.
My sister got into Sophia’s college, we were all excited. She went by bus but the first day she came home, she sobbed traumatized. A man had put his hand in her tee-shirt through her sleeve, the entire bus ride. She just froze. She was a kid too and wasn’t equipped to even understand this. I was LIVID. I’m sorry sis for telling the world this, please don’t stop speaking to me. IT’S NOT Our Shame. It’s THEIRS!
One of my friends in college was RAPED on the train on her way home in the ladies compartment. She was sick and was going home in the 11:15 break. There was nobody in the first class compartment going back to Bandra at that time, it was a superfast meaning it didn’t stop at most stations. He raped her and then jumped off after using her scrunchy (hair tie) to wipe himself. She was the only one on the train and had to limp her way back to her home in Bandra, bleeding profusely. She was just 16. This she felt was her shame so she did not say anything to anyone.
BUT IT ISN’T HER SHAME, it’s THEIR SHAME.
My mom accompanied me to Hyderabad on a shoot once. In churi bazaar, a cyclist groped My MOM. My dear respected and lovely MOM.
Sorry Mom, IT’S NOT Our Shame, It’s THEIR SHAME.
Why am I telling you my personal story?
Well first I want all women to Speak Up.
Let’s make this our MOTTO-
It’s not OUR SHAME, it’s THEIR SHAME.
Who are “THEY”?
“THEY” ARE THE MEN IN OUR COUNTRY.
Not just the rapists and the sexual offenders and gropers but also our Fathers (sorry dad) and Uncles and Brothers and MOVIE STARS AND CRICKETERS AND POLITICIANS for not SAVING US or PROTECTING US by insisting and protesting for the LAWS TO CHANGE and Rapists and Gropers to BE PUNISHED SEVERELY!
Why do we as women have to feel so threatened? WHY has there been no severe action taken? This has gone on for years now. Not just in Delhi but all over our country and yes even in BOMBAY OR MUMBAI OR Whatever the hell you want to call it! It’s NOT SAFE. NO!
My biggest fear ever since I was kid and even today when I walk back home at night from yoga or when I take a rickshaw from a friend’s home is being RAPED. I still feel that fear. I am still am on guard. I still fantasize of having that MACHINE GUN.
In the past 4 years I have been living and working half in India and half in New York and let me tell you I have walked the streets of Harlem, the Bronx and Brooklyn (perceived as the most dangerous in NYC) at3am after parties in short skirts and felt safer than I feel in Bandra at 10 pm on a quiet road fully covered. WHY??
Let’s talk about Delhi our Capital. I was there 2 days ago and the day of the rape. I wanted to go out and walk by India Gate and admire our great monuments but could I?! Why??
What good are all your speeches in the US or Japan or AUSTRALIA- NAMO, if no woman can walk freely in the streets even in broad daylight by herself in the CAPITAL OF OUR COUNTRY. Isn’t this a SHAME? SHAME ON YOU SIR.
This is our NO1 issue. FIX THIS before anything else.
This is a SHAME. And it’s YOUR SHAME. You are now RESPONSIBLE FOR US.
I beg all of you fine gentlemen that I have addressed to help change the LAW.
You are powerful men. I say, SHAME and PUNISH THE Gropers and Sexual offenders severely. KILL THE RAPISTS.
I won’t ask for public castration which is what I want and all the women want because I know this is unrealistic and things move SO DAMN SLOW in our FINE NATION.
All I ask for is the -Death Penalty Please. NOW! QUICK!
If that’s too hard or will take too long then at least LIFE IMPRISONMENT.
Put them away forever.
Why was this man who had raped twice before out on bail?
And then given a drivers license? YES, BAN UBER TOO. Make everyone responsible.
I’m ready to do anything. I’m not a big enough celeb but you Sachin Tendulkar, Amitabh Bachchan, Salman Khan, Sharukh Khan, Aamir Khan, Anil Ambani SIRS- need to speak up as MEN ( you are the men with the power)
SAVE US!
Please demand the Death Sentence for the Rapists.
NO BAIL. Just Death.
Superstars I beg you, please take a stand. Use your Superstardom and Power and MONEY and save the women of our country. SAVE US!
I urge you to protest or go on a fast or do something DRASTIC so people take notice, the government wakes up and CHANGES the LAW so these men are terrified to touch us.
Death to rapists. No bail. Just death.
Imagine Amitabh Bachchan Sir, Aamir Khan, Salmaan Khan, Sachin Tendulkar, Anil Ambani- if you went on a fast or walked to the Rashrtrapati In Delhi. If you, took this stand and made this YOUR NO 1 issue, how much change there would be?!
Why should we as women feel so unsafe in our motherland?!
Why should we as women be terrified and on guard all the time.
Why was this man out on bail after committed two rapes already ?
Make an Example Of Him.
Any man who even touches a woman should be imprisoned for life.
Be strict, make examples of these men, scare those who dare to touch us.
SCARE THEM BY MAKING AN EXAMPLE OUT OF THEM.
SAVE US, Save your mother, daughter, sister please!
This is NOT OUR SHAME.
THIS IS YOURS.
SHAME ON YOU.
Don’t sleep till you – SAVE YOUR WOMEN!
With all respect,
Shenaz Treasurywala
@Mohd Vajir :
What the hell is wrong with you…..Are you from ISIS ? If yes go to fucking Iraq and If not get the fuck out of my Country….You pervert… you had to google shit to just malign shehnaz? I think its people like you who are the gropers and the rapers in my country.. go to pakistan!!!
Hi,
Shenaz I am recently posted to uae for some assignment… This is the safest place in the world… One of my cousin once came to see me at 1am with her 2year old daughter and I was shell shocked.. She told me not to stress cuz it’s Dubai not
India… I am really feeling bad after reading what u have been through.. Feeling so sorry for you…Such offenders are here beheaded/stripped publicly and even stoned to death… The same laws should be replicated in our country and that is the only solution left.. Mr. Modi should start this with the UBER guy.. Strip him/ Rip him apart and kill him publicly… Best of luck for your future, I would love to participate in such campaign and
Extend any kind of help if required.. Would also suggest you to post the same story on twitter….
I am not able to understand why did people think wearing western dresses will invite rapers….
What you gonna say when 6 months infant got raped, she was completely packed in blanket….
How come 70 year old women got raped , is she wearing mini skirt and drunk ….
Guys wake up it just a sickness…..
To all the people applauding her, I have lived in new york and India, and pls leave a few cities in India, new york is one of the most unsafe places, I challege shehnaz to walk in bronx alone at 3 AM, she will be more than groped. All I am saying is, as sensitive as this issue is, this just seems an oppurtunistic exploitation of the situation at hand by a celebrity. It seems really un heard of that one person has been borne the brunt so much. Going by the people she has addressed and her failing acting career this seems like a publicity stunt.
I was compelled to write this after reading some of the comments. Dress up right!!! What the f**k does that mean? Who the f**k decides that for women? You??? Who the f**k do you think you are to advice women on how they should dress? And why are all these f**king rules apply only to women?? Pardon my french but i couldn’t help but letting it out. Its difficult to comprehend the kind of thought process most of the men in our country possess. Its f**king appalling!!! You guys suck, and till the time people like you exist in this country and the world, women will never be safe. I’m really sorry to say this but, although the possibilty is very very bleak, maybe you’ll understand how to treat women, when your wives or daughters go through this shit. On second thoughts, you will never understand!!! You will think that your wives and daughters must have done something to provoke men around them to touch them. And by god, i sympathise with them already. I don’t know why am I wasting my time and energy on jerks like you even though I know that you wont change in this lifetime. I pity you, and your male offsprings who will be brought up with the same shitty mindsets just like you perverts. God help you!!!
P.S. – Dont give up on us Shehnaz. Respect.
@all of you people out there who actually think that rapes only happen coz the way a girl dresses,then tell me one thing how was an 84 year old women Raped? A 6 months old baby was Raped? I know you wouldn’t have an answer for this. No girl,women,kid or a baby can create an urge in a guy to Rape her by just wearing clothes. This is just the mind set of an individual that he commits this blunder and has no fear of losing anything later. He knows it all that nothing much will happen coz the LAW against this act is not that strong and they know that they will become a free bird after a few months and in most cases they wouldn’t even get caught. Just once if a Rapist is sentenced to death or left in the hands of public as a punishment,this crime will be reduced. Why always the victim has to suffer? Why always a girl has to go through the taunts,blames and insult. Does anyone of you have an answer for that? NO. First you people need to change your mindset that its not the girl or the way she dresses,Its the men who actually have this urge of raping women with No fear of getting Punished at the end.
@mohd vajir
@surinder
Just posting a link of shehnaz to prove that the short dressed and open cleveges are invitaion to rape.. I thought men find women body beautiful, admirable, that’s why sharukh , salman and amir romance their hoeroins don’t rape them,poems are written to admire the beauty of women. I mean if raping is the way a person shows affection then Mr. Mohd vajir your father must have raped your mom that’s why you are born. Coz one night your mom was appearing attractive to your dad and he raped her.
I mean grow up people its hedious to think that rapes has to do anything with clothing.. So why women in vilgaes are raped more than in comprison to cities they wear Indian traditionals.. Why girls in Iraq are raped even after wearing veil. I mean I rapist will always look for a whole dose’t matters what covers it a saree or a dress or even a short skirt. So stop your sick mentalities. Instead of teaching you daughters his to dress in public teach your sins not to be wolves who just want to have every women crosses their way. Its a genuine sugesstion to all the males instead of crushing your daughters and sisters self confidence please try to purify the filthy stereotypes against women in the brains of your sons and brother. Even if a women walk naked on street its her decsiin who are you to tell her its not appropriate. I mean if ladies shouldn’t find a male body attractive… I am gay and i kind of loath male body so every time I see a bare chested man on beach I should probably screw him of throw acid in him because that’s what is done to girls. JAGO INDIA JAGO…
Good one
Dear Shenaz Treasurywala,
First of all I would like to thank you for your bold words.
While I have read your open letter to several personalities I thought about what for a strong woman you are and how much courage it needs to expose your personal story and the story of your family and friends to the public. You truly deserve the respect from all Indian and Non-Indian people.
Sexual assault should be punished with life imprisonment. Death sentence would be to less. The victims have to live with the shame and the mental pain their whole life too. Why should the offender receive a sentence which execution takes only a few moments?
The type of clothing a woman wears is never an excuse for such cruelty. Do we have to be dressed in sackcloth because some men are not able to control themselves??? And please dear men don’t say that this is written in several holy books. It’s not a matter of religion. It’s a matter of self-control and humanity.
Sexual abuse has nothing to do with power. It is just weakness lived on the lowest level. I request every man around the world to take care of girls and women. Please treat us with respect!!!
Shenaz ji, I am not able to take away your fear, pain, tears and anger but there is one thing I can do and that is to SPEAK UP! I wish you, your family and friends all the best in life and hope someday you will overcome all the cruelty what happened to you.
Lots of Love from Germany
Hello shehnaz , sorry to hear u got groped but Life imprisionment if someone touches a girl ? Like seriously !! Do you understand the consequence it can have if we were to have such a law . Hounorable Supreme court has recently squashed the Dowry law which was misused by women .I dont think this is ever going to happen
it is infact THEIR SHAME…I’ve had similar experiences while travelling or even simply walking on d road when men walk closely n touch at inappropriate places n pretend it to have happened accidently… some don’t even pretend,they just walk off as if they’ve accomplished something huge.
my heart breaks to hear about girls of just 5 & 6 yrs of age being raped… their bodies r not even prepared for anything let alone the pain from being raped… and the mental trauma they go through after that… an incident like this is unforgettable and leaves deep scars on their young minds …
it’s high time that some brutal action be taken against rapists, even molesters. why aren’t there any strict laws against them?? every state., every capital, every city, every street is becoming unsafe for women…there has to be something, if not rape or groping, there’s eve teasing….. I fail to understand the pleasure they get from all this…..
I would like to add that dressing appropriate or inappropriate is not the question or solution… fully clothed women are also raped…. it’s the corrupted minds of these men who are incapable of thinking beyond such things….
I request men to protect women instead of commenting on their choice of clothing (no offence to anyone).
my sincere support to shenaz….
Hats of to Sehnaz for being bold and speaking out. And shame to all the men who do this to our women. It is not just the rapist, but even the common man on the street who thinks it is their birth right to grope women in a bus or on the street. If we want change, first we have to change the mentality of the men, just ordinary man on the street. Wake up the men of India. Get a girl friend or wife if you are so desperate, but every women on the street is not your ‘toy’. Leave her alone.
Kuddos to you …. ?
Very well written n expressed…
U r speaking every females heart ..
I have also been thinking this… Even though I highly respect what NAMO is doing… I really feel its high time his his world touring ends now…n he concentrates more on doing something abt the crimes tht are increasing day by day…
I mean …wtf… Even 2yr old babies r not spared !!
Y hasn’t he done anything abt tht..
As a woman, I know this is what I too have faced all my life in India, and every woman feels that today, and every man has that fear for his own sister, mother or wife.
We need better policing, better punishment for sexual harrassment on streets. The public stares at the girl being harrassed like it is all her fault, noone comes for her help hence these men will target women in full public view.
I do not know what the politicians or even NaMo can do with all his good intentions, probably better policing, and sensitizing the security forces the only way.
Rest left to the families to bring up their boys better.
Agree with her for death sentence BUT the same punishment should be applicable to any lady or female who tries to misuse this punishment against men. Sadly, in Indian constitution such cases takes ages (where men are victims) to be proved who is right n who is at fault !!!!!!!!!!!!!
Respect
I felt bad while reading the various incidents. Specially the one where her friend was raped in a moving train and had to limp her way back. A major problem that results in rape/molestation is ILLITERACY. I’m a virgin and I don’t have a girl in my life but I can’t go around raping or groping girls simply because I have not been brought up that way. When i go out with my sister or female friends, I notice many men who give them lecherous stares. People say that girls/women get raped because they dress provocatively. But I’ve seen men ogling at girls who are fully clothed. Also how can a 1 year old kid provoke anyone? Kids are so cute how can you do such evil things to them? It’s important to take stringent action against such people but Shenaz went a little overboard in saying that any man who touches a women should be sentenced to life-imprisonment. I mean okay girls have to go through hell but not every girl is innocent either. There have been instances of girls misusing the laws the most recent being the Rohtak sisters case. What about such girls? I also heard about a case in which a professor was falsely implicated for molesting a girl. Turns out that he had caught the girl stealing examination papers from his cupboard. Yeah later he was acquitted of the charges but the damage had been done. Our society doesn’t let you live :(
If stricter laws are needed for dealing with convicted men then some laws should also be in place for initiating punitive measures against women who misuse the laws.
I really do hope that girls start getting respect here. I hate it when girls are branded SLUTS just because they wear western clothes :(
Still i salute her for writing such a bold letter :)
@ IMAM
R u insane..?
If Indian women’s starts wearing seductive dresses India will go ahead of US & UK..?
Don’t talk like idiot India is well know for culture and clothing’s even Firangis like to wear Shalwar kamiz & Saari…?
So true!!!!! I am GLAD you wrote this. I decided to leave India because of this non-sense. I was from an upper middle class educated family but my mother blamed it on me which was so agitating…my boyfriend would ask me to “calm down” and when I asked him “how would you feel if this happened to your mother?” He was speechless..people don’t think unless it affects them directly. The situation in India is horrible. You get molested everyday and no man in your family believes it.
Safety for women should be India’s top priority considering its current state of affairs.
Every time I hear stories about this, I am more enraged by the responses than the act itself. When will victim blaming end? Why aren’t the perpetrators of this crime be condemned to the fullest extent as well as the justice system that fails women and allows such criminals back on the streets to repeat their crimes without fear of consequences?
Regardless of what you are wearing or what conscious state of mind you are in, sexual molestation is not excusable under any circumstance. If we stop making excuses, then maybe more of these types of men will fear the consequences.
Props to this woman to speak out and urge for a movement. To accept that this is as a norm is unacceptable and will only make the problem worse.
I went through the same things in India, New Delhi since childhood. First time harassed by a Sikh almost my father’s age and I was in 7th grade. Several other instances kept happening and I fought and protected myself. But never wanted to stay in India was my motto since there is no respect for woman in India. I stay in uk now can wear a transparent top without bra and walk streets without being harassed. Can come at anytime home and walk lonely on streets.
Girl, I understand your point. Your intentions are good, but think and see who you are sending this message too. Narendra, a person who has no respect for women. He left his wife without even caring for her and her future. He had no sympathy for pregnant women killed, girls raped in Gujarat.
Appeal to more reasonable men
Thanks
@mohd vajir
I tried very hard to see things from you point of view but I can’t stick my head up my ass. You showed the measure of your character with your comment.According to you dressing attracts groping. Shenaz was not wearing provoking clothes when she was groped at the age 13, nor was Nirbhaya or any other rape and molestation victims. You also said if a girl walks naked in public, she will be raped. Because no one from the public will think of clothing her.
Going by your logic, your ignorance, stupidity and existence provokes me. So, should I kill you?
If you believe in Santa Claus, ask for a better character this Christmas. Ho Ho Ho.
@Handsome4Hotty2
Your name says it all. if you were smarter than what you are you’d still be stupid.
Unfortunately we girls were raised like everything that happens to us is OUR FAULT and SHAME. I remember many instances where I was scared to even share such incidences with my parents thinking “What will they think about me that I am bringing shame to them”.
1. When i was 10-11 years old, i was touched at all places by my cousin at my house during night and I used to run away hiding places so he can’t get closer to me. I couldn’t tell this to my mom :(
2. Around same age I was traveling with my uncle from my Nana’s place in bus and it was 6am, I sat next to an OLD man in his 60’s. He started touching between my legs, my chest, under my t-shirt…and I couldn’t shout or say anything to anyone. Just left the seat and stood for 2 hours…I was only 12.
I feel these rapists, gropers etc..are NOT aliens but PART OF OUR SOCIETY OUR FAMILY someone’s brother, son, uncle. So the teaching should also grow from our family, our parents..they should trust the kids, understand what the kids are saying, and act on it. Make boys a responsible citizen NOT a devil to society.
After reading the above, I feel ashamed to be a man in India.
However, the change has to come from households and merely enforcing or changing the law will not change not much. The change has to be in the mindset and that starts from their homes. If we have the likes of Mulayam Yadav, god only can save this country and the women who live here.
To all the people who say dat dressing i the main problem. I would like to ask all of them; will they blame a 3 month girl who cant even dress up on her own when she geta taped brutely and dies??? I agree that dressing sense matters upto some extent but its the sick mind of men which causes all the problem. They just want a girl to satisfy themselves and dats it. They dont even see dat shez just a small kid yaar who has nt even uttered words put of her mouth yet. Shez nt their property who hz taken birth just to satisfy those dirty minded people. I am really sorry to say but the mind set of people needs to be changed who say its a girls fault alwayz. Bcz girls wearing salwar kurtas, covered wid burkhas nd poor smsll kids also get raped. Shame on people who think its alwayz the girls fault. Being a literate, please understand the situation which iz going worse jst bcz of our thinking!!!!!!
I have sympathy for Shenaz and every women who been through these kind of harassments. Every women have full rights to live fearless and safe in their country. I have heard lots of stories and hear everyone to take action but no one has courage to come forward and start acting against all these coward activities against helpless women. Either her family poor or think to keep quite so no one knows what happens to their daughters or sisters on streets. Most of times this kind of incidents happens to middle class women.
Not sure about death sentence as you don’t want some innocent person become victim and later it was too late when truth comes out that was someone else rape or it was revenge.
It may help if the person who become victim of this kind of harassments speak up there and then. Let public to know. If the incident happens at night or in isolated area then you have to be very careful before you go through that area. Best to catch taxi or Rickshaw and call home in front of the driver and give your family member registration number of the vehicle.
No death penalty,that’s too lax measure for this kind of crime ad would encourage rapists yo silence their victims.What might work is to have those beasts have a taste of their own medicine and by that I mean to lock em up in cage full of gays and let em be gangraped while being filmed,release dat video on the net and release em after that.I’m sure they’ll themselves commit suicide after living hell of being shunned,mocked,banned,disowned and beaten.And if that ain’t enough just get em raped by horses in public before their friends,neighbors and family
Women are not treated well in India . And to all you sick f—ers who think they have the right to molest women just because of the clothes they wear I sincerely hope that you realize it could happen to your own daughter or wife or someone close to you . Grow up
India is a regressing country, I’m sure we committed sins or crimes in our last life for which we had to be born in a country like India.